Where The Love Light Gleams

December 5th

It was Ian who invites them this time. A lovely dinner at his place. It's a new one that Shin has never been to before. She thinks the unfamiliarity of the place will help her nerves.

She's proven wrong when the butterflies in her stomach has worsened when her driver pulls up at his house. Add the fact that she still feels a little heavy from her conversation with Jazz. She curses herself because of this.

Everyone else was already there. "Hey!" Ian greets her. She gives him a hug. "Hey" she murmurs. He lets her in.

They take traditions very seriously. One has always been a gathering every December. This is something that none of them would want to miss. They celebrate not only Christmas, but each other as well, as a family. They do this one a little earlier because they don't want Shin to miss it. She'd remind them that she'll be here for the entire month, but they were persistent.

The bright happiness of her friends lifts her heart a little bit and it was enough to carry her through the night. The loud, happy, borderline obnoxious mood of the dinner table helps her.

It also helped that Ian has gone overboard with decorating. The food is amazing too, she thinks. "I hired a chef" Ian says. She can forgive him for that. As far as she can remember, he's not really a good cook. Good thing he's handsome.

Shin has always been very observant, and right now she sees probably just a tiny bit of what she's really missing. She sees how they smile and laugh. God, how she missed this. She can see how happy Erik is now that he has finally found the one. The same goes for Mark, who can't to seem to take his eyes off of his girl. She sees how strong Yeng and Yan's marriage gets and how much they've grown together. Every time she looks at Sarah and Matteo, she sees nothing but love in their eyes.

She didn't notice she'd gone silent amidst all the laughter until someone holds her hand and squeezes it.

"You okay?" Ian asks quietly.

Oh and there's Ian. Her Ian. Well, he used to be her Ian. But sometimes she likes to think he is still her Ian. The person who could effortlessly make her happy. The person who makes her feel secure about herself. The only person who could take her breath away just by being in the same room.

She squeezes his hand back and smiles at him, "Yeah."

Everyone sees their little moment. They're used to it. They're used to seeing Shin and Ian go into a world of their own. And if they were honest, it was something they missed a lot.

Once the party had died down and everyone has left, Shin and Ian gets a little time to themselves. Shin felt bad enough for arriving late that she decides to stay for a little while. A little while won't hurt, right?

"London suits you" he tells her, in the quiet moonlight and chilly air. He stands beside her, not too close, but close enough, and hands her a mug of her favorite tea. It's like looking at a painting when he looks at her. When she turns her head to him, with a smile at the corner of her mouth, he sees the truth in the beauty. He also sees the sadness in it.

Shin shrugs, curling her hands on the mug Ian just handed her. "It's overrated, I think" she murmurs. "It's a beautiful place full of beautiful people, but it's also full of empty promises and depressing truths." Yes, she's living her dream, she's doing what she loves, and she's world-renowned. But she was lonely. She does not want to tell him how lonely it has been for her, how much the silence and isolation has slowly driven her crazy. But by the way Ian's arm wraps around her shoulders, Shin knows she doesn't need to.

He knows. He always knows.

Her heart sinks as she says goodbye. She missed him, but she has to leave. She laughs as Ian walks her to the door. "It's literally ten feet," she says.

And then he surprises the hell out of her.

He catches her around the waist and pulls her in, cupping her head just before his mouth meets hers. She melts immediately, she can't help it. Her knees bend and he has to tighten his arm around her. She finds herself stumbling back. Damn, she almost forgot that he's a good kisser.

They pull back for air.

"What the hell was that?" she whispers.

He looks up, then back down at her. "Mistletoe."

He kissed her under a mistletoe.

Holy what.

"Good night, Shin."

That night, the low, soothing quality of his voice is once again a prominent feature in her dreams.