Now I'm really in a hopeless case. Hindi ko na alam dapat kong gawin sa sarili ko. Alam ko galit na galit ako kay Danny ngayon because of him being so irrational. Parang kahapon lang nung sinabi niyang mahal niya ako at hindi niya ako iiwan. Then after a day eto na kami. Nakikipag g*guhan lang ata sakin ang tadhana e.
Well as for me. Nawala na lahat nang tapang ko sa katawan.
All I want to do now is to see him and beg. Yes! How stupid can I get right? Pagkatapos kong magmatigas ako itong gustong magmakaawa ngayon.
Maybe he really has his reasons. At kailangan ko yun marinig, coz' I know I'll not settle if I'm still left hanging.
Sabi niya babalik siya. For what reason, I still don't know. I don't want to think that he's just making me his rebound again. But honestly speaking, I might consider it. Tanga na e.
The next day after work, I just found out myself walking through my apartment going to his. Kahit naman alam kong naka locked yun at wala siya dun.
I just barely want to see him so badly.
Miss na miss ko na siya. I seems so pathetic right? But what can I do? I just fallen in love.
And when I was about to touch his doorknob bigla naman itong bumukas.
In shocked, halos ilang segundo.din kaming nagkatitigan.
Yes, he's here inside his apartment. But as I can see, he'll be not anymore.
"W-Where are you going?" I asked him with concern.
When he had recovered in seeing me. Doon siya tuluyang lumabas sa apartment niya. Taking two luggages at hand.
"Somewhere far" he simply stated.
And the way he said those words literally came down on me. It's like he's pushing himself away.
Nagsisimula nanamang mamuo.yung mga luha sa mata ko. How can he leave me just like this?
Wala man lang ba kaming matinong closure pagkatapos ng lahat ng pinagsamahan namin? Where did the h*ck the old Danny I knew went?
Parang hindi na siya yung lalakeng nakilala ko.
"C-Can you just tell me where?" with a shaky voice I asked and he just look at me blankly.
"I can't. It's for the goodness of us both" he said emotionlessly again.
Wala na ba talaga siyang natitirang feelings para sakin? So ganun nalang talaga matatapos ang lahat?
"Who's with you?" Sunod kong tanong. And it is as if he was quite shocked about my question.
Alam kaya ng parents niya na aalis siya?
"I'm going with Eu" he said without even looking at me.
With Eu? What he said sting throughout my whole body. Para akong sinampal ng katotohanan. So this is really it. Hindi pa ako nagtatanong alam ko na ang sagot.
He will not choose me over her. Never will he.
He started passing through me and walked away. Ni wala man lang pasabi o habilin. Basta nalang talaga siya aalis. And while he was walking. All I could do was to see his back going away from me. Together with my heart.
Sa sobrang sakit hindi ko na alam ang mararamdaman ko. I wanted to shout but I'm too hurt to even say a word.
I was dumped. By the person I didn't even imagine he can't think of doing that on me.
So with all the strength I've got. I ran to chase him. I may have never seen him again. But I don't want us to be like this. Hindi ko kaya.
Parang dati lang, he was the chasing after me. Then all the while, it became the other way around.
Nasa malapit na siya ng kalsada when I decided to grabbed him by the hand. Iniharap ko siya sakin. I know lumong lumo na ang itsura ko. But does it still matters now?
"Calli..." he called my name again and tried to hold me still. Hawak hawak lang niya ang magkabila kong braso.
He's looking at me with full emotions.
That is when I rushed to hug him tightly.
He hugged be back too.
Iyak lang ako ng iyak habang nakayakap sakanya.
"Ayokong umalis ka" pag min ko habang hindi humihiwalay sakanya. I was able to mutter words in between hurtful sobs. "Hindi ko kayang umalis ka"
He was trying to cool me down but to no avail he still can't. He's the one behind these tears so how can he take them away.
"Bakit mo siya kasama?!" I said hurtfully again. "Ayaw mo na ba sakin!?" Paasik kong tanong habang umiiyak pa rin.
"Ssh. You know I love you. But she needs me Calli" was his reply about the things I said.
"I need you too!" I bursted out. Doon na siya humiwalay ng yakap sakin. Pero pinipilit ko pa rin yumakap sakanya pabalik.
"I know. But she needs me more now. I'm so sorry Calli" with more force to give. He was able to free.himself from me.
Then there came the cab.
He put his things inside as I watched him with too much hurt.
Then before going in. He said in finality.
"I'm going back. I wish you could still wait for me. I love you" he mouthed. "And I'm sorry"
