The Rogue Tribe - Ranger's Apprentice

Chapter 8: Regrets

Halt stared into the little camp fire, his eyes glassy.

After he and Crowley had left the fight, they had run for hours through the trees toward the coast. Four hours later, they had finally stopped running and found a discreet and shielded area to camp for the night. Now, behind a large wall of rock and surrounded by a dense grove of oak trees, he and Crowley had lit a small fire that they deemed necessary for warmth, but they kept it as small as possible to keep the visibility down. There was no moon tonight, so sky was black enough that the smoke wasn't visible. They sat silently staring into the flames, their faces lit up an eerie orange in the dim light. Neither had spoken any more than was absolutely necessary, and neither wanted to break the awkward, anxious stillness that had settled. But Halt dragged his eyes up out of the fire and cleared his throat softly. "Crowley... I'm sorry I didn't explain anything before we... Left."

Crowley glanced up. "I suppose I've grown to trust your instincts. But I am a little lost as to why we left everyone else back there to fight off the Temujai while we went running off into the forest," he shouted, suddenly angry, and clenched his fists at his side.

Halt winced slightly at the anger of his friend, and spoke hurriedly to explain before things got out of hand. "I know it seems bad Crowley, and it is. I wish we could have done something else - "

"We could have, but we didn't! Why did you have to drag me out of there? One glance at Will, one nod, and we take off running with no explanation while a full blown ambush takes place behind us! The hell were you thinking?" His eyes were glittering with fury, the kind of anger that comes after a stressful situation. It was common in soldiers who had nearly lost their life. Halt had seen it many times before after terrible battles, and no matter how weathered a veteran, Crowley was not an exception.

Halt tried to explain again. "I was thinking - "

"Do you know how many could have been hurt, Halt? How many could have died?" Crowley leaned in, seething. His face was red and his knuckles were white. Halt leaned back. His anger has escalated from an immediate battle reaction to uncontrollable emotional tidal wave. He had only seen his friend this angry a few times in all the years he had known him, and even then, this was one of the angriest. "With the amount of Temujai that attacked, there's no way they got out of there without casualties. In fact, for all we know, they could all be dead!" His spit was flying through the air. "Will could be dead! Gilan could be dead! Anyone of them could be lying in a puddle of their own blood, while we just ran!" He abruptly stood, walking away and then coming back, pacing furiously, his fists clenching and unclenching. After a few moments of silent fuming, he stopped and turned, calmer. "In all my years, I don't think I've ever seen you run from a fight. And I know for certain that you wouldn't just abandon the Corps, or Will, for that matter, in a mess like that without a damned good reason." He took a deep breath, and then sat back down in front of Halt, rubbing his hands near the fire to keep warm. The anger still burned in his eyes, but he was calmer now.

Halt let a few moments of silence go by, in an effort to give Crowley a moment to get himself together. He finally spoke softly, placatingly, "If you would calm down for a moment, you would remember that I never do anything without a 'damned good reason'." Crowley glanced up, some of the anger fading. "And I'll tell you all about my 'damned good reason' if you would just give me chance."

Crowley sighed, then nodded.

Halt took a deep breath, and began. "I suppose I'll start from the beginning. You will recall that I spent a short period of time living in a large village on the Eastern Steppes just a few months after becoming a Ranger."

"Yes, of course I remember, I was the one who authorized that mission." Crowley nodded.

Halt continued. "During my time spent, I made certain to create a small but extremely trustworthy circle of friends from various villages and of different ranks. This was to try initiate an intelligence source so that even after I left, I still received letters from them occasionally, filling me in on the things the Temujai were doing with their economy and, most importantly, their military. These days, I have one especially close friend that sends me a summary letter about once or twice a year at most, just listing the things they were doing or planning to do. Most of the time these letters contain nothing of interest, and I file them away for possible use later. I've been doing this for at least a decade now."