Don't Leave Me Alone | TØP

Chapter 10 // Josh

I have been staring at the ceiling of the tour bus for hours and I already lost track of time.

I should go to the hospital, but my body refuses to move. I don't want to break again, even though I really want to see Tyler.

Also I'm hungry. The last thing I ate was the taco and it was a long time ago.

I let out a long sigh and cover my eyes with my forearm. I stay like this for a while until I hear my stomach groan.

Yes, I should probably eat something.

I make a huge effort to stand up but my legs won't cooperate. I don't know why I'm like this. I never thought losing Tyler would make me feel like this...

I shake my head and try to stand up again. This time I can stand on my feet, but my legs still tremble. I head straight to the bus' door when I realize I should have taken a bath first. A bath could help me clear my thoughts. Also, I'm sure I smell like shit. But I don't feel like taking a bath right now.

I roll my eyes at my own thoughts. I need to take a bath.

I start walking towards the bathroom now. When I open the door I let out a long sigh when I see my own reflection in the mirror.

I see myself. But I notice something different this time. The bags under my eyes are darker than before and my whole face looks like it was drained of all emotion. Also, I don't like the way my reflection stares at me, like it was trying to devour me or something like that.

I just can't stand seeing my face anymore. Not after everything that has happened.

I slowly take off my clothes and I turn on the shower, then I head into it.

I let the water roll over my naked body ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) while I stare at nothing. After a while I rub my head, I don't know why but it makes me feel better.

While the shower is on I don't want to think a lot about Tyler, but it's already too late. I keep blaming myself for everything. I deserve to feel like this.

I close my eyes. Everything's falling apart. Everything. This needs to stop.

"Tyler's gonna be okay." I say outloud. "I'm gonna be okay. Things will get better soon."

I'm probably crying, but it's hard to distinguish my tears when all the water is falling on my face.

~

After taking that shower I finally decided to go to the cafe near the hospital. I'm wearing a hoodie right now, hoping no one notices me. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now.

After ordering some coffee and something to eat I look for a place where I can sit.

And that's when I saw that girl.

She's wearing a twenty one pilots shirt and has a bracelet on her wrists (also from our band). Her eyes are focused on her phone, and she looks worried.

She's part of the Skeleton Clique, for sure.

I bite my lip. I don't want to talk to anyone now, but it would be nice if I talked to her. Also, I would make her feel better.