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I love you more then I love my self.
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I could hear the heart break in his voice and it killed me. It killed me because I knew that he was finally going to give up on us, and that was something I didn't want to happen.

After almost ten years Skate was giving up on me and in that moment, when he looked up at me then over to the blond girl sitting on the chair next to him, it was over.

For good. 

"Well then I'll be going home and you should know that you're welcome back anytime," I said. I looked down at my hands and found my self hating my self even more.

"I'll walk you out," he said. He looked over to the girl and she nodded. Was he asking for her permission?

"Why'd you come here?" Nate asked as soon as we were in the elevator.

I let out a long shaky breath, "because Nate," I said.

He laughed and grabbed my arm. I winced but he didn't let go, "Babe- Nate you're hurting me," I said while wiggling my arm.

"You said you hated me, Savannah so, it's done," he said while pushing me into a corner making me wince and grabbing my hip.

Trying not to cry more then I already was, I looked over at him. His eyes were red because he had been smoking. I love him so much but I fucked up.

"Stop okay," he said while stepping out of the elevator.

Quickly running after him I grabbed his arm and pulled him back, "what do you mean 'stop'?" I asked while stepping in front of him.

"Why don't you just go back to your damn partner," he yelled causing me to jump.

"Oh, so what now you think I cheated on you?" I asked while following him to my car.

He nodded and pushed me against the car making me wince again, "yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying," he laughed.

I shook my head and grabbed my lower back.

"You know what," I started while pushing him off of me, "you think what you want to think but here's something you should know," I said while smacking his chest.

"I've been down and loyal to you for years, Nathan. I have been your girl since I moved back to Omaha. I stayed loyal to you and you cheated on me god who knows how many times? I love you more then I love my self Nathan Maloley and as much as you might hate to hear this, I am pregnant with your second child Nathan and dammit I need you more the I have ever needed anyone but here's something else you must know," I sobbed. I could feel my legs growing weaker and weaker, "I hate you more then I hate the drunk driver who killed my mom and I'm so sorry I ever took you back," I cried.

And as I felt my heart break, he just stood in front of me shocked at my words and truth is, I was shocked my self.

I may have been in the moment, but to be accused of something that never happened broke me completely.

"I was so excited to meet your son, too. I was also so excited to finally be starting a family with you, Nate," I said while grabbing his hand.

"Savannah," he said while creasing my check, "I'm so sorry for everything I have ever done to you and all the hurt I have brought to you and I want what's best for you and the baby," he said while wiping his tear away.

I closed my eyes for a few long seconds but the feeling of a cold breeze hitting my face made my eyes open, "I love you so much and I never meant to hurt you," and with those simple words he left a kiss lingering on my lips.

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I felt weird. I felt like I was alone in this huge house and even though I lived in this house by myself for a few months before Nate moved here, I felt empty.

My phone rang bringing me from my thoughts. In the second, I wanted to just throw my phone in a corner, but I didn't.

I kept my cool, looked at the ID, and answered, "Gilinsky," I said.

"Hey," Blake said, "we just landed and I thought I would let you know that the case went just fine," he added on.

"That's good," I smiled, "no one got hurt right?" I asked.

He laughed, "Reid got shot but he had his vest on so he's not hurt," he said.

"Good," I smiled, "get some rest. I'll see you Monday morning," I said.

"You aren't due for another two weeks, Savannah," he panicked.

"No, I'm due in the field for another two weeks. I can be back in the office Monday," I laughed, "goodnight, Blake. See you Monday," I said before hanging up.

Leaning on to the counter I put my head in my hands.

I wanted one person

Nate.

I quickly grabbed my phone and texted Nathan.

Please, come home- Savannah xx

I walked into the living room and wrapped my self in a blanket. I turned on the tv and laid my self out in the couch.

And just as I started to fall into a light sleep the door creaked open. Sitting up and grabbing my gun from under the couch I stood made my way around the house to the front door

Jumping in front of Nate with my gun pointed at him he put his hands up and jumped back.

"Are you gonna shoot me," Nate yelled while turning away from me. 

I lowered my gun to my side, "I thought you were someone else," I said while grabbing his arm.

But as I thought he would, he pulled his arm away from me and closed the front door, "I got your text and I didn't know if you needed something," he said while grabbing my gun and putting it in the drawer of the table next to the door.

"I just need you here because I need to take a shower and I can't put that cream on my back by my self," I lied.

But that's not why I told him to come home. I told Nathan to come home because I wanted him back home and I wanted to hug him and lay in bed with him. I wanted him to tell me that things were going to be okay.

But they weren't. Nothing was going to be okay. I was so stressed and I could lose everything at any second. My house, my car, my job, my unborn baby, everything.

"Well let's go," he said while walking past me to the stairs.

"Wait, Nate," I said while grabbing his arm and pulling him back, "can we please talk about this?" I asked.

"Yeah," he sighed, "I think that would be pretty chill," he smiled

Does anyone know how fucked up it is to grow up with one parent? For the first fourteen years my dad wasn't in the house. Sure I could call him at anytime but he wasn't there.

And for the last eight years my mom wasn't there and the worst part was, is I couldn't talk to her and I wasn't gonna let this happen to my kid.

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@acousticskate

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