I lost apart of me when you left
-
2:55pm
I was parked in my usual spot at the doctors office, checking my make up to make sure the bruises weren't visible when Nate pulled up next to me.
I didn't think that he would actually show up because he never does.
I stepped out of the car to be greeted by Nate sucking up, "you look nice today and you have on my jacket," he smiled.
I looked down at the jacket and sighed, "sorry I didn't know it was yours. I'll give it back after the appointment," I said to him.
"No no it's okay," he smiled. He's trying to win me back and it wasn't going to work, "we're gonna find out the sex of the baby today," he nudged my arm.
I grabbed his arm so I didn't fall since I had on five inch heels, "hey watch it," I laughed while wrapping my arm around his.
"Why are you even wearing those shoes? And GIRL you need to add some color in your wardrobe," he chuckled.
I frowned, "I'm wearing them because they look nice with my pants and this is what the FBI is, black and white."
He opened the door and held it open for me. When I walked in he followed close behind me and grabbed the hand again.
"The lip stick is a good color for you," he said.
"Thank you," I said walking up to the check in desk, "Hi, I'm Savannah Gilinksy. I have an appointment at three."
She nodded at me and I took a seat in the lobby. Nate sat beside me, but turned all of his attention to something on his phone.
I didn't look because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt and end up crying my make up off.
My phone went off and it was my boss. He was making an exception for me because of what happened and he didn't want me home everyday for six months with Nate.
we have a case. come back as soon as possible -Hotch
The exception was that I could work in the office but I was suspended from the field.
"I have a case," I mumbled to Nate.
He looked at me with a weird look then back to his phone.
"Savannah Gilinksy," the nurse called out so I could get back to my room.
---
The ultrasound was fast and I had her print of plenty of pictures. One for each of my team members, one for my dad, and one for Nate's parents.
When we walked back to our cars Nate looked at me with sad eyes, "when are you coming home? Tristan and I miss you."
"I don't know," I sighed.
"I lost apart of me when you left the first time, I'll lose the rest of me if you plan to leave me again while you're pregnant with my little girl," he said.
"Yeah and I lost a part of me when you started to abuse me, and I lost the rest of me when my boss seen you doing it," I said and he frowned, "I have to go to work, Nate, I'll come see Tristan later."
And with that I ducked back into my car and headed towards the office with all the people I needed.
---
I hated that i had to live in my office and sneak into my house. Hotch and many others have offered me a place to stay, but the only place i wanted to be was at home in my own bed.
I was mentally and physically exhausted at this point. I was five months pregnant with my daughter, I missed my parents and my brother, and to top it off my boyfriend was abusive.
I laid a suitcase on my bed and packed clean cloths, and everything I would need for the next few days.
When I opened my top drawer, i saw the adoption papers i was going to give to Nate so I could become the legal mother of Tristan.
I grabbed them and laid them next to my suit case. I quickly finished packing and took a deep breath as i felt my daughter kick me.
I struggled to carry my suitcase down the stairs but Nate being the big hero he is, grabbed it from me and carried to to the front door for me.
"You wouldn't struggle with that of you'd stay home," he sighed. I look at him then back at the ground, "you know, that's the first time i've seen you carry case papers with out them in a folder."
"Uh because they aren't for a case." i paused, "they're for you."
I handed him the papers and watched his shed skim the paper and well up like he was going to cry.
"You really wanna do this for him," I saw a tear roll down his cheek. I reached up wiped his face.
"No for you too," I put my hand on my stomach as I felt a cramp come on.
He threw his arms out and pulled me into them. This is where I have wanted to be for days and as I turned my head and saw the hole in the wall everything from the night he tried to punch me in my face flashed through my eyes.
"I'm not doing it unless you can change and prove that you'll never touch me like that again," I motioned towards the wall.
"Baby..."
I waddled over to the door, put my hand on my suitcase, and my other hand on the door, "the wall needs to be fixed, Nate."
I saw that he still had the papers in his hand so I grabbed them back and put them in my brief case.
"Matter of fact, I want every hole that's in my walls fixed. When you start paying bills you can punch what you want," with those words I walked out to my car , pulling my suitcase behind me.
