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I'll start winning when I stop caring.
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I was anything but scared. I wasn't sacred of facing criminals, I wasn't scared of death. If I knew what was going on when i got taken hostage, I wouldn't have begged for my life. I would have told him to kill me.
If you wanna kill me, do it. Don't hesitate, don't wait, go ahead. Do it.
When I walked into my office Monday morning, I had so much paper work it would take me at least three days to do.
"Do we have a case today?" I said while setting my coffee down on the round table.
"Yes we do, but you will be staying here today, you'll be helping tech," Hotch said.
I frowned but didn't question his actions. Growing up with an FBI agent you didn't question the orders given to you.
"Alright," I sighed while looking down at my phone seeing a text from Nate.
you coming home tonight? -Nate
I sighed again before taking the time to respond saying I was but I would be late and to make sure Tristan was asleep by a certain time.
"He's doing this because of your dad," the tech girl smiled.
"Because of my dad?" I questioned.
No wonder Hotch has been acting like a fool. It wasn't because I was a girl and it wasn't because of me being pregnant. It was because of my dad. It's always because of my dad.
"Hey, I heard him talking to Blake about it. Your dad said that he didn't want you one the field until you had your baby and were twenty three," she said with wide eyes.
"I'm going to talk to Hotch,"
--
After I had a long talk with Hotch I chose to walk away like I should have Done when he told me to. He told me that my dad didn't want me in the field until I was officially twenty-three years old. So as a punishment of not obeying my boss I was giving a suspension until January twentieth, twenty-twenty.
Six and a half months.
What exactly am I suppose to do for that long and in the actual heck am I going to pay bills? By this time I would be ready to pop the baby out or I would have already and as much as I'd hate to tell Nate this, he'd have to be a stay at home dad.
"Do you want me to at least take the paper work home?" I asked before walking out the door.
"Yes please," Hotch said while signing a paper and sticking it in an envelope, "here. These are your suspension papers," he sighed.
I grabbed the papers, stuck in my bag, and walked out the door. I made sure I slammed the door so I could point out that I was mad.
I hope Nate was ready for seven months of me being a stay at home mother.
--
"Nathan that's not what I said," I said calmly while carrying Tristan into the house. Nate was hot on my heels as I walked up to Tristan's room.
"Then what did you say Savannah," Nate said. Nathan thought that I had been fired, when that was not the case.
"Can we talk out this down stairs or in our room? I don't want to wake him."
He nodded and grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs. Once we reached the kitchen I was slammed against the counter top, "now please, explain this whole thing to me because I am really not getting what you are trying to tell me."
"My dad, who is the boss of my boss, made my boss give me a six and a half month PAID suspension because one, I am not twenty three yet and two, my dad is worried about our baby and I," I shouted so that maybe he would understand.
But instead of him understanding he grabbed me and slammed me into the wall, "out of all things you could have done, you chose the FBI?" his fingers dig into my throat and I started to lose my breath.
I felt my face start to sting before I realized that he had punched me in the eye then once more in my jaw. I had hoped that it wasn't broken because that would be shit.
"Nathan, you have three seconds to get your hands off of my agent before you land your self in the county," I heard Hotch say. Soon after, Nate let go of me and I fell to the floor gasping for air.
"Out of all the things I thought you'd feel about this, I didn't think you'd be pissed off about it," I said while rubbing my neck. He went to open his mouth but I stopped him, "don't say anything," I pushed, "I don't want to hear anything you have to say to me right now."
With that being said, I pushed past Hotch and Nate. I grabbed my keys and jogged down the front steps. There was one person on my mind right now and it wasn't Nate.
Sammy.
I needed to see him. It wasn't like that and it would never be like that again, but he always knew what to say. He'd kill me for letting this happen since I was literally trained for defend myself, then he'd tell me to lay down. He would wait for me to fall asleep before he took my car keys and left in this car to 'talk' with Nate.
--
I had hesitated doing this for well over an hour. I drove around town before deciding that I would go see Sam. There was no way to hide the bruises that Nathan had left, and at this point, I didn't care to. I stepped out of the car and started towards the steps. I reached the porch and rethought this whole plan.
I wanted to stop walking to the door, but my mind kept making my feet go and I couldn't make them stop. Finally I reached the door and knocked.
The door swung open and a blonde girl opened the door. she smiled at me but then her smile fell when I fully pushed my hood off, "hi, is Sam home?" I asked.
"Yes, come in and sit down. You're Savannah right?" she asked. I nodded my head and walked into the living room.
Sam was gonna kill me because I was in yet another abusive relationship, but he was gonna kill Nathan for being the guy to abuse me.
I didn't care though. All I wanted was Sammy to tell me things were going to be okay, but were things really going to be okay?
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