abusive relationships were based on lies. it's a lie. he will do it again.
--
The next morning I woke up on the couch. We were back in Virginia and I had the rest of the week off.
Soon enough I heard Nate wake up. I didn't know if I should act like I'm asleep or get up and make breakfast.
Thinking of Tristan, I stood up and made my way into the kitchen. I pulled out the pancake mix and a pan to cook them in.
I felt and arm wrap around my waist causing me to flinch, "morning," Nate said kissing my neck.
I faked a smile and turned to face him, "morning," I said. I walked out of his arms and over to the fridge to get bacon, orange juice, and milk.
Nate watched my every move which scared me. After last night I didn't know what Nate would do to me. We got off of the plane and he lashed out for no reason. Mainly saying that I broke up with Kenny because I wanted to be with Sam again but that wasn't the reason, but what was the point in trying to tell Nathan the truth when he didn't even know why we were broke up for those four years.
Before Nate had anytime to say anything about last night Tristan ran into the kitchen tackling Nate's legs, "well good morning bud," Nate said picking him up and placing him on the counter.
"Dad, I have a question," Tristan said while looking over to me then back to Nate.
"Okay shoot kiddo," Nate smiled while putting his arms on both sides on him on the counter. Tristan looked at me one last time then over to Nate where the smile he had on his face disappeared.
"Why did you hurt her last night, dad? That's not okay," he asked. Nate frowned at him and glanced over at me and I raised my eye brow, "you picked her up, slammed her into the wall, then threw her on the ground, Daddy."
"Go watch tv until breakfast is ready," he said while picking him up then setting him on the ground. Tristan sighed then nodded his head and walked away, "I told you to tell him that we were playing."
"Nate I tried. I tried to tell him we were wrestling and I wasn't hurt," I said taking a step away from Nate not knowing what was coming, "but he told me that his step dad did the same thing to him, his mom, and his baby sister, Nate."
He looked at me with disbelief, "he showed me the scar he has on his back from his step dad throwing hot oil at his two year old sister but he jumped in front of her," I explained, "he told me he'd show me all his scars if I showed him mine."
His face softened, "I tried to tell him Nate, but for being just four years old he is the smartest kid I know."
He looked down at his hands which were placed on the counter, "how bad is it," he asked.
I looked at him and closed my eyes, "you don't want to know, babe," I said while placing my hand on his. He didn't do anything but look at me.
"I'm sorry," he said while pulling me into a hug, "I swear I will never hurt you again," he said. he leaned his forehead on mine. I smiled at him and pulled my head from his.
"I wont say it's okay, because it's not. I was in one abusive relationship and I don't want or need to be in another one."
Nate's head flew up and his eyes grew wide.
---
I didn't know how I did what I did. I had a horrible past between being depressed, losing my mom, being in an abusive relationship, and being raped multiple times.
I saved people's life for a living. I got paid to do something I would do for free, but sometimes, it feels like I am paying someone else to save my life.
I wanted something special in my life. I wanted to be loved and a certain brown haired, rapper wasn't giving that too me anymore it upset me more then I thought it would.
"And if you think that I'm still holding on to something, maybe you should go and love yourself," I sang out.
"Savannah," my brother said from behind me, "I didn't know you could sing," he said in excitement.
"Well," I sighed, "other then me, only two people know and you're one of them," I laughed.
He smiled at me and I returned the favor. Kenny was the only other person who knew I could sing as well as I did.
I took in a deep breath, "I was a freshman in college when Kenny released his first single. One day I was cleaning my house and I had an out burst of singing. He walked in and heard me singing," I frowned.
"Would you ever get in a booth to record a cover?" he asked.
I pushed my lips into a straight line, "I don't know. I'm an FBI agent not a singer," I laughed and so did he, "you stick to singing, I'll stick to fighting crimes," I said while pushing his shoulder.
Jack frowned and pushed me back, "you wouldn't just one time," he questioned, "for me."
I shrugged, "maybe, maybe not," I laughed.
"Will you sing me more?" he questioned. I turned my head to fully look at him. I shook my head, "no."
He frowned at me and made one of his many faces. He dropped his shoulders and his head went along with his shoulders, "anyways, where's Nate and my favorite step nephew."
My head shot up at the mentioning of the two boys, "they went to go get Tristan stuff for his new room," I smiled.
Jack glanced at me while I played with my fingers, "Savannah," he shot, "what ever your hiding you need to spill it right now."
--
@acousticskate
