That's your family

It's on

When I got back home I didn't tell Juice. It didn't feel like my secrete to tell. I just convinced Juice to watch a movie in bed with me. I couldn't sleep that night. Violence is going to follow. Growing up the club was a thing for the boys. Besides crow eater and prison the club never affected the old ladies. Murder, rape, whats next? What I hate even more is the doubt. What would happen if I just left right now?  I looked at Juice sleeping next to me. The guilt set in as I looked over his calm face. Something in the club needs to change. Tomorrow, I will talk to Jax about it.  Until then I pulled myself into Juice and close my eyes.

I took a personal day and left to see Jax first thing in the morning. I rode with Juice to TM and waited for Jax while he got ready for the work day. When Jax got off his bike our eyes met and he walked straight to me. "Tammy, I am late for a church meeting were Clay and I will tell the club and take a vote. Can you wait till after" I just nodded and watched him leave. I sat around waiting for everyone to walk out. Juice was the first one out, and he sprinted right to me, engulfing me in a hug. We didn't say much but he took my hand and led me outside. We both lit up a smoke and sat in silence. Eventually Juice did bring up the crow. "Tammy are you sure that you still want to do this" I took a deep breath and replied, "There are a lot of things in my life that I am not sure about, but Juice you are the one thing that I know for certain. I love you" He leaned and kissed my cheek, then holding my free hand until I was done. Juice left for club stuff and I walked over to the office for papper work since Gemma was gone.

I walked out to see Opie since I needed his signature. I saw a wild beat down of Tig. I screamed at Opie and tried to pull him off, only to get knocked to my ass and yelled at, "He killed Donna!" That is all I herd before a ringing wouldn't stop in my ear. Even when I saw Jax, Clay, Bobby and Piney I couldn't regulate my breathing. I looked at Tig and my heart broke. Tig was like another father. He made me feel safe and loved as a child, and he killed Donna. I couldn't take it. I ran off only to vomit right by the building. I could hear Opie's truck start and Clay yelling. I just hid behind the shop. I didn't know what or how to think.

Juice eventually found me. He picked me up like a child and carried my to the back room. He sat down by me on the bed and held my hand, "I'm so sorry. I have to go but please just stay here." I didn't react to him, all I did was stare at the ceiling. Jax came in, and I still didn't move. "There needs to be a change. Dad wrote a manuscript about the club. He knew it needed to change. We need Clay out of power. I gave it to Opie, for now, I just thinks he needs it more." When he saw that I wasn't going to give him a response he left.

I only moved after I herd gunshots. Two, sounded like it came from Chapel. I went for a pistol that I hid in the closet only to see it missing. That didn't stop me from sneaking down the hall in the direction I herd it. Juice ran up to me calming me down, "don't worry about it" "No one is in danger" I didn't respond to him tho. I walked up to Happy and handed him a folded up piece of paper. He unfolded it and took a good, hard, long look. "Where and how big" "Under boob, side to side" He nodded at me and refolded the paper placing it in his pocket. "When" "ASAP" "I can get you this evening"

Soon, the guys leave the clubhouse for the evening and I grab Juice's hand following Happy into a backroom where everything is set up.  Happy asked Juice to let us be for a minute. I assured Juice that I will get him before I got started. Hap sat down across from me and asked, "Are you positive that this is what you want. I would hate for you to be stuck with an idiot because of whats going on" I took a deep breath, "Happy, I want this. Even if I didn't, this is the life Happy.  What else am I suppose to do. I can't leave the family, and Juice wouldn't let me date another son." For the first time since Juice and I got back together Happy kissed me. It was surprisingly calm and lovingly. When he pulled back he rubbed his hand against my face and then told me to strip as he got Juice. I laid on my back and took off my shirt and bra as Juice came in. I covered my boobs with my hands and Happy got to work. It took three very painful hours before Happy was done. Juice kissed my forehead and suggested we stay the night at the club house. I kissed Happy's cheek and waked down to the Juice I stay at, still covering my breast with my hands. Juice gave me some pain meds and laid down by me in the bed, holding my hand since I didn't want to have pressure on my new ink.