That's your family

Facing those I left behind

I waited, and waited. Minutes, Hours, a few days past. It wasn't a son that came to my hostel but Trinity. She walked into the room and walked up to me hugging me. "Tammy the boys will soon arive. I am helping my mother prepare. Please come and join us." I smiled at her hugging her too. "Trinity you have been so great since I came here. I never thought I would have met anyone like you ever."We placed my suitcase in car and got in. I looked over at Trinity and confessed how nervous I was. She grabbed my hand and just told me to breath and be calm. Crap, I thought I would only have to face like one or two people. Most of SAMCRO, including my family was here. Not gunna lie a thought passed in my head that I could run, after all Jax is here so Abel should be fine, right?

I didn't run tho. I barely opened the door by myself when I could feel it get pulled from my hand and I was pulled up to a warm body. I could hear my mother sniffle and try to hold back a cry. I held her back and whispered to her, "I'm sorry ma. I really am I would never hurt you intentionally. Its just I've been stressed and I wanted to find Abel... " The crying died down and I received a slap to the face. I yelled out, "Shit ma! Ok I get it! Fuuuuuck-" She cut me off with the lecture, "I don't care whatever is going on with you personally but don't you dare ever leave this family without so much of an acknowledgement of where you are going" I rolled my eyes and wanted to storm out but as I looked around even faces that normally don't judge me like Bobby held disappointment. I looked down at the ground and put a hand on my stomach not thinking. There was a shocked looked on my mothers face before Trinity saved me by grabbing my hand and pulling me away, "Oh yes Tammy you said you were hungry lets go get you that sandwich". We pushed by everyone and she kicked everyone out of the kitchen before going to get sandwich supplies. Her voice cut the quiet of the room, "Is right now really how you want to tell everyone. Do you think it would be better to wait until you get to the peace of your home" I grinned at her and took another pickle from the jar to snack on, "Dear god! oooohhhh this is the best pickle I have ever had. God if I had peanut butter I would be in heaven." Trinity shook her head and wanted to speak before the door opened up and one Juan Carlos walked into the kitchen. I voiced to Trinity that I would be ok and watched as she left, at least she left the sandwich.

Juice didn't say a word. Neither of us did. Maybe he was feeling what I was. I was mad, and yet I missed him. I just looked away I really couldn't face him. I started to walk to the sandwich but found myself inhaling a sent all too familiar. I tried to hold back the tear, a few escaped from my eyes as they did his. I sniffed back when we broke the hug. The hug may have broken but he held me by his side as he told me, "I am so sorry Tammy. Please don't ever leave me again. I didn't know if you were safe.." He started to choke up at this point. "I don't know how I could live another day with out you. I promise I won't be stupid if you promise not to leave." I couldn't respond immediately because he kissed me. It was salty and wet, but still one of the best kiss I have even gotten in my life. I couldn't help but smile against his lips. I pulled back and grabbed his hand, gently placing it on my still flat stomach. "Juice, I promise that I will stay with you as long as you can promise to be a good father." His eyes grew big and the color left his face as he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around my stomach. He began to cry and I watched as Chibs entered only to shoo his away. I Pat a hand on Juice's. He took the hand and kissed it. He than looked up to me and kissed me again. When he broke the kiss he held my face and told me, "Tammy, this is one of the best days of my life. I'm going to be a dad." I took a deep breath, he wanted the baby. Shit now time to tell everyone else. I looked at Juice and gave him one request, "Juice, it's bad luck to tell people early. It's tradition to wait until the second trimester. I just want the best for our baby. I know its silly but can you do this for me?" He kinda looked like a toddler wanting to tell his secrete. "When will that be" I shook my head. "Honestly, Juice I don't know I figured out I was pregnant when I got here. Once we get home I will set up an appointment. Promise" He kissed my forehead and promises me. He took my hand and led me outside, no doubt to get a lecture from everyone else. While I got my chewing I noticed Trinity and Jax talking. It's no secret that I am not Tara's biggest fan but still. It makes me think. When Juice is on the road he can do whatever. I stuck by Happy's side as he escorted me outside while Juice and Jax took Fi and Kerrianne back to the rectory with Chib and Trinity. I wanted to go to but Happy grabbed my arm and frowned, "oh no little girl you still have some explaining to do" I frowned at the group leaving but waved them off as Happy walked me outside. He stood there for a minute before offering me a cigarette. I just shook my head no and just folded my arms. Happy gave me a look. "Let me guess you don't want a beer either" I squinted my eyes at him, "I am on a health kick, if that is any of your business" He shook his head no and walked up to me, "Your right its not my business that Juice knocked you. The fact that you are a pregnant run away is not my business. What is my business is that I had to deal with Kozik who is currently in Charming trying to transfer because you are acting like a child. The fact that you are slowing business because everyone is worried about you is my business. I don't care if you want to act stubborn but you need to at least be an adult about it. I have half a mind to send you back so just stay out of our way." With that he walked off and I tried to make small talk with anyone just waiting for Juice to be back in my arms.

The one good thing about all of us living in close quarters is that everyone knows what is going on. That's why I even know that Juice was shit at earlier. They have me sitting in the kitchen doing dishes, but the walls are so thin. I can hear Opie suggesting that Jimmy is the one that sent the hit. Two of the SAMBEL members, O'Neill and McGee was suggesting some random group but I think of what Cherry said about finding an envelope with a bunch of cash in it.

Soon a party has started at Ashby Alley. I was watching the taped-knuckle fights. Everyone in SAMBEL cheers as O'Neill wins all his matches. He called out "whose next" after he wins another fight. This time Jax answers the call without hesitation. O'Neill landed the first hit on Jax but I couldn't help but feel pride in my brother as he quickly bounced back and went on the offensive. Once the fight was over it was clear that Jax didn't end up near as bad as O'Neill. I got a call from Kozik and talked to him for a bit, apologizing for my behavior and telling him Happy said he wants to patch over.

I slept in late but I woke up to the boys getting ready for a road trip and was introduced to a Michael Casey who stayed to watch the women. I don't know if the Irish always have someone watch the girls but I am a little suspicious of the man. Gemma and Fi made tea and talked while I just hung out with Trinity below in the shop. Then I herd a gunshot and Kerrianne scream. Trinity grabbed the gun from the cash register and ran upstairs. Us crashing the party distracted Jimmy and Gemma grabbed his gun from him, and forced Donny to drop his. Gemma got ready to kill Jimmy bit Fiona convinced her not too. I felt disgusted at her as she promised 'a bloody genocide' to my family. Fiona then promised Jimmy that if he comes for her or her daughter in the future she will kill him herself. Damn. I just know from watching these mother that I will have big shoes to fill when I give birth. I watch Maureen call McGee about Jimmy's little visit.

Jimmy set up the boys into a trap. At least that is what I overheard as Juice held onto me making sure I was OK. I gave him a look and whispered for him calm down. Everyone tried to convince Chibs to take Kerrianne and Fiona back to Charming with us. Juice placed his arm around me as Chibs stated that the he girls won't come with us, and that they wouldn't be safe until Jimmy is dead. Juice and I cuddled by each other on the couch and I could see Jax and Trinity getting close as well.