That's your family

Lost my second father

When night fell I took JJ home. He was so tired from the event that he passed out before he was even fully buckled into the car. I'm just glad that he got at least one semi-normal day. I took lots of photos that tomorrow I need to get printed out. I dropped JJ off at Gemma's in the morning only to see that the boys were having there meeting at the kitchen table. I kissed everyone on the cheek and grabbed a piece of toast for the road. The whole day I put my grind on blast getting everything done in record time. Gemma said she felt a little tired and dropped JJ off at the Day care provided from the hospital. I sat down feeding JJ and it hit me. I want another baby, and I want to do it right. I want to marry Juice.

Or at least that is what I thought until he didn't come home last night. I drove to Tara's and Jax's to drop JJ of with Gemma and ask Jax if he knew where Juice was. Jax only kissed my cheek and told me that Juice probably was at the club house, his eyes seemed to hide something tho. He looked like he pitied me. I kissed Tara, Jax, and the boys bye and told them to have fun on their trip. At work I got the best news. I ended up to be the one who got the raise! I texted Gemma the good news, and asked if she saw Juice at the club house. She texted me that we needed to go out to celebrate, or have a family meal when Tara and Jax got back. Around lunch Tig texted me that Juice was picked up, and released this morning, still no one has seen him. The idea that he may have skipped town slipped into my mind, only to be shaken out by my more logical thoughts. With Tara, Jax, Happy, and Kozik being out of town it was like I was alone. Well except for that happy seven month old waiting for me at home.

Jax texted me that Tara hurt her arm. I took a cigarette break to go see her in the room before she was taken away for X-Rays. I don't know why but I glared at Gemma as I headed back to the lab. Dirty Phil was waiting outside of lab when I clocked out. He told me that JJ was with Able and Thomas's nanny. I got a text from Juice asking if I was alright but I just slid it back into my pocket. I rolled my eyes, "C'mon Phil. I told Tara that I am taking care of the babies tonight." There was something about taking care of the babies that made me feel like I wanted another one. I kept some corny show on the tv and cooked mac and cheese for Abel which he loved. I called Jax to see if he wanted to say goodnight to Abel. After that I opened a bottle of wine and went into my bedroom to relax in a bubble bath. Eventually it got so late that I assumed Juice wouldn't come home so I tucked Abel into my bed and had JJ and Thomas share the crib for the night.

When I woke up Juice was asleep on the couch so after I was done fixing breakfast I told Abel to wake him up. Soon I could hear groan and, "What do you think you are doing" followed by the cutest response, "Aunt Tammy told me to wake you" then I could hear a little scream and a giggle and Juice walked into the kitchen with Abel hung upside down. He walked over and gave me a little kiss while Abel exclaimed, "Ewwwww". I couldn't help but even giggle a little bit as Juice joked, "ewww huh" before flipping him back on his feet, "I will show you eww" to which he then gave me a slow kiss until the babies started to cry. He rested his forehead on mine, "I can give Tommy a bottle while you feed JJ". I picked JJ out of the crib and began to breast feed him while Juice got Tommy and bottle fed him while Abel ate his pancakes. When I was done I was watching the three boys in the kitchen and couldn't help but smile and look down at JJ before asking him, "you want a little brother too?"

Juice seemed to have the same idea painted on his face. He looked at the time before giving me Tommy and kissing my forehead and going to shower before leaving. While he was showering Anita picked up all three of the boys so I even had a little time to sneak into the bathroom and share a morning shower with Juice. I was in a good mood heading into work, even left early to see Tara. I wish she was doing okay but mentally she was not. She talked about how her and Jax were going to leave, how someone attacked her and even tho I wanted to support her she looked at me with mad eyes, as if I was the one who attacked her myself. I couldn't help but think about it all till lunch break. When I was out on break my mother was waiting outside. "Dear God" was all I could say as I walked up to her. Her face was beaten with cuts everywhere and her face swollen up like a hamster. I tried to keep my voice contained when I asked "Mom, what happened to you. Did Clay do this." She just rubbed my arms, "babygirl trust me this is something that I have to woke out, without you help. You don't need to be involved with this." I rolled my eyes and said, "okay, well to what do I owe this pleasure? I was thinking about bringing Tara some food." It was her turn to shake her head as she gave me the news, "She is in surgury hunny. Our favorite Junkie whore is back in town and decided to visit Tara, to which she freaked and re-broke her hand" I couldn't handle that I just pulled my arm out, "well want some lunch then".

Before my shift ended I got a text from Jax. Meet me ASAP. My brother only does this when it is an emergency. When I pulled up Unser was walking away from Clay, who also had scratches and bruises from this mornings altercation. Jax immediately walked up to me and gave me a tight hug. With his arm over my shoulder he walked me past everyone and into the room he used to stay in the back. He sat me down on the bed and held my hand, "We need to talk" I nodded and cut him off, "Yes, we do. I know that mom-" it was his turn to cut me off, "no darling this isn't about mom. There was an accident today, and well Kozik didn't make it". My stomach dropped and my breath got caught in my esophagus. My body leaned into him and I began to cry. Not a pretty cry either and great big ugly cry. He patted my back and tried to calm me down, "look I know this may take some time, mom and chucky and who ever will watch JJ until you are back on your feet". I wanted to answer but no words came out of my mouth and the tear flowed more violently. It stayed this way till Juice walked in and my latch went from Jax onto Juice who led me to a room in the back where I cried on his chest until I fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning I could tell that it was dark since no sun came in the window. I wanted to get out of bed but I couldn't. I could hear footsteps down the hall I was surprised when my door opened and it was Tigs shadow in the threshold. He sat down on the bed and pulled my head into his lap as he brushed it, something he used to do with me as a child, something he did with his daughters too. At first I didn't say anything but when I saw that his Sargent in Arms patch was gone I put my hand on where it was missing. He held my hand and put it down. "You probably saw your mother today, I can't work directly under him. I'm so sorry baby girl. I love you so much". Another shadow came into the doorway, this time Juan. Tig kissed my forehead and left me and Juice alone a short time later I could hear his bike peel out of the compound. Juice kissed my forehead and crawled into bed pulling me in close to him, "I contacted Kozik's brother. He is going to be sent home soon and we will have a memorial service babe". I nodded my head and pulled him closer. We sat in silence til I croaked out, "I love you Juice" he whispered, "I know, I love you too" I continued, "Everything is going nut baby, I don't know what I would do without you". He kissed me again, "same, but lets not think about that tonight"