That's your family

Times they are a changing

I didn't get up in the morning. I could listen as Juice called the office that I might be sick for a few more days. He tried to talk to me and I felt like a bitch as I never answered him, not even when he picked up our son and said that we will get a sitter for JJ for the day. I didn't kiss him bye when he left. He left with a bowl of fruit out for breakfast, but I didn't eat it. No one came to see me which is good. I never really left my bed. The light seemed too bright and my eyes were sore and red from crying. My mouth was dry and my nose was wet. I only got out of bed when there was a loud knock at the door, demanding my presence. Happy stood at my door with my son on his hip. I took JJ from him along with his diaper bag and walked inside leaving the door open for Happy.

I placed JJ in his play pin while Happy walked over and grabbed a beer. He handed me one and I leaned against the counter not talking. Happy gave me a stern look and told me to sit so I hopped on top of the counter, but never talked even when Happy walked right in front of me and place his hand on either side of my thighs. I couldn't look up to his eyes so he placed one hand on my hair and with his palm tilted my head down. Looking at Happy mad me want to cry again. Happy was Kozik's best friend. I thought back to Happy and I smoking on Kozik's couch just being gleeful.  Happy did his little grunt and demanded, "You have a week to snap back" I looked up at him with possibly the most pissed off look ever. Only looking to my son, JJ standing up in the play pin looking at us did I not go threw with yelling at Happy. Seeing this look, Happy's face softened, "look we both know that he wouldn't want you to stay torn up over this, you were like a daughter to him. He wouldn't want you to miss out on life, your son's life". I really was shocked at the peace in his voice and nodded back at him. With his other hand he patted my cheek and for a second I thought that he was going to kiss me before he backed off and let himself out.

I took the rest of the week of. I woke up to Juice kissing me bye and I decided to actually get up and walk around the clubhouse until I decided that I missed my baby. I had Juice pick up and bring back JJ before he left for the weed shop. Even with JJ I still just spent hours sitting in bed. I was blessed to have him. The more I stared the more I saw the similarities between him and Juice. With Clay walking around the clubhouse didn't feel like a second home anymore so I buckled him up and actually headed to my home. With Tig quitting as Sargent in Arms the club will have to vote someone in. I thought about who they would pick and it seemed that Happy would be the only reasonable choice. After all the main reason that Tig likes him is that he makes him feel normal. I bounced JJ up on my hip, "looks like Happy will be getting a promotion in the club. Good for him". I spent a lot of time on my laptop where all of the photos of Kozik and I were stored. We even one of those corny, "ten years later" recreation photos with my college. Some of them were sweet and other I used to not like, but now with him gone I instantly liked any photographic memory that I had of him. I kissed the top of JJ's head and said, "Oh did he love you so much. I just wish that you got to grow up with him also". I don't know if it was how out of it I was but once I put JJ down for bed I opened up a bottle of wine and this time I fell asleep without tears in my eyes. Juice not coming in didn't even really bother me.

In the morning I got a text from Gemma, "Clay was shot. still alive." I dropped off JJ and sat in the waiting room. I didn't see Juice there like I was expecting but Happy was the first to stand up and hug me, instantly pulling to to sit beside him. He flung his arm around my shoulders so I had my back leaning against his chest. I was just so tired that I didn't even stop him. The whole time Chibs looked at me like he pittied me, and it seemed to be for more than just my step-father getting shot. Jax came and Chibs and Happy talked for a bit. I think this shooting spooked everyone, seeing as like half the club is MIA. Thinking of the situation all I could think of was how out of the loop I am right now and how crazy everything is. Once I herd that Clay was over the bad part I headed out to get my son. 

JJ is now crawling everywhere, now I spent extra amount of time in the house making sure everything was up. Jax texted me, "Clay is out of surgery, but Tig is freaking out, go comfort him." So I did just that, at least there was something I can do. So I packed JJ up and headed to the hospital. Clay wasn't awake when I got there but I welcomed Tig inside his room and went out with JJ to give them privacy. Gemma walked in to see Tig but once he left I walked up to him to try and see where his mind was. I even gave him JJ and told him that JJ is now walking and it seemed to soften him a little bit. Tig is tough but he is very passionate when it comes to his family, ie his daughters, Gemma, Clay, me, ect. I talked to him till he kissed my forehead and told me he had a big meeting to attend. Seeing how Tig was acting and thinking of this whole shit storm made me go back to the place that I went to the one place that always calmed me down. Going to the graveyard I spent hours packing for JJ and then driving over to the flower shop,  talking to Mrs. Roosevelt and letting her play with JJ for a bit, she even invited me to go to the city council meeting with her about Charming Heights. Everyone just seemed to love JJ and want to talk to him and me whenever I went down town, to where all the mom and pop stores are. In the grave yard I sat in front of Thomas's gave with JJ. I chatted away telling JJ stories of Thomas and telling Thomas how much JJ reminded me of him. The I went over to John's grave where Jax strolled up to and sat by JJ and I. He had his arm over my shoulder and told me that there were letters that I needed to see. He thinks Clay killed our father. I do not know what to think anymore. I smiled that he was coming to peace with our father's life and he escorted me to the car and helped me buckle in JJ. I hugged him close and told him that he needs to let me cook for his family before they leave. Or even before, Gemma always have family meals but Jax and I don't really hang just the two of our families, despite the fact that my old man is a brother and that I got along with Tara. 

At the meeting I sat by Mrs. Roosevelt and the most strange thing happened. The man I saw at the grocery store a few weeks back walked into the meeting with what looked like a child CPR dummy and a duffle bags. He introduced himself as a DA and I sat shocked. He found out within the "tokio funds" that the money for Charming Heights came from a Japanese family known for making sex toys, including a little boy line of sex dolls. I didn't know how I felt about him so I followed him out  and called to him with JJ in his stroller, "So your a DA? Is that why you made sure to introduce yourself?" He gave me a sweet smile and said, "Lets just say that I am here in Charming for the good of its people, but you don't have to worry about me, just worry about your lovely son". I watched him as he walked away still confused for why he was here, and something told me that It wasn't just to postpone the deal for Charming Heights.