Love Will Find It's Way. {Austlan Cashby} BoyxBoy

Chapter Nine:A Horrible Experience.

Weeks later:

Austin's P.O.V:

Today was our first official day on tour. We were already on the road on our way to the venue here in Cali. Every thing has been going great except how Alan and I won't even talk. I think I should just be the one to talk to him first, it won't be that bad, right?

I rub my hands together and look over in Alan's direction. He's sitting on the couch across from mine on his laptop. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "Hey, Uh, what're you doing?" I ask. Alan looks up from his laptop and looks at me. He studies my face before looking back at his screen. "Twitter." He mumbles. I sigh and nod. "Oh, fun." I respond back. He nods and rolls his eyes. "Well, how about we get drunk after our show tonight?" Tino shouts as he enters into the front lounge. I shrug and get up. "Yeah man!" Alan yells. "Where you going?" Tino asks. "Back lounge." I mumble.

I walk into the back lounge to see Aaron and Phil playing xbox. "Oh, sorry, I'll leave." I mutter. Aaron looks up at me and gives me a sad smile "No, come join us." Aaron pats the spot beside him and moves over a little. I try to smile a little as I walk over to the couch and sit down. "How are things going with you and Alan?" Phil asks. My eyes widen and I look at Aaron. "You told him!?" I whisper shout. Aaron pauses the game and looks at me. "Accidentally." He says with an innocent smile. I groan and run a hand through my hair. "Don't worry man, I don't care. I support you guys all the way." Phil says with a smile. I smile a little and nod. It's great to know people support me and my decisions.

We sat there for a good a little while just talking and playing video games. "So he's really that mad at you?" Phil says with an eyebrow raised. I grab a chip from the bowl on the ground. "Yeah." I answer before placing the chip in my mouth. "Somebody should talk to him." Phil says. Aaron and I both look at Phil and smirk. "What?" Phil says confused. "You should do it." Aaron smiles and nudges him. "Me? Well, if you want." He grins a little and shrugs. "Could you?" I ask. He nods and grabs some chips. If I can't talk to Alan, then maybe somebody else can for me.

Alan's P.O.V:

I was just finishing up on my laptop when Phil came into the front and looked at Tino. "They want you to play some game with them." He mutters to Tino. He smiles and gets up, leaving Phil and I alone. "So," Phil sits beside me and looks at me. "What's going on with you and Austin?" He asks quietly. I shrug and put my laptop beside me. "I just don't want our friendship to end." I whisper. "Don't let it, how do you actually feel about him?" Phil asks. I know someone told him about Austin and I and I really don't care.

I think about it before answering. "I like him a lot but he's hurt me so many times." I say with a sigh. "I just want to be able to trust him, to know that he actually likes me and isn't ashamed to show it." I look down at my hands before looking up at Phil. "I understand, but maybe you should give him a chance. See what it's like and what happens." Phil gives me a sympathetic smile and shrugs. "I-I, I don't know if I can go through another heart break." I stutter, making myself sound stupid. "You don't have to do it now, just when you're ready and you feel comfortable." Phil gets up and sticks his hands in his pockets. "I should get back to the guys, it's probably my turn." Phil chuckles a little before walking away.

I decided to just sit there and think. I constantly ask myself questions. Will he be faithful? Is he just confused? Does he really like me? I feel like I'm going crazy. I run my hands through my hair and pull at it until it hurts. "Fuck." I mumble. I just so badly needed to cut. To feel that blood seep out, to feel the cold metal between my fingers as I slide it across my wrist. I visually picture it all. I picture myself cutting to deep then having to sit in the bathroom and slowly die. No! I throw my hands down on my thighs, making a loud noise. I can't handle this anymore. I need an escape.

I quickly get up and go to my bunk. "Weed." I mumble as I climb in. I grab my bag where I stash some random illegal shit. I grab a baggie of weed and smile. I grab my grinder, bong, lighter and a random water bottle. I take the weed out from the baggie and place it in the grinder before grinding it.

I so need this right now. I open the water bottle and put some water in the bong then I grab the bowl piece and stick the weed from the grinder in it. I smile and place it back then I don't hesitate. I light it and bring my mouth to it, I take a huge hit and it burns my throat a little. I blow it out and start coughing my head out.

I smoke my whole baggie of weed and before you know it, I'm stoned as fuck. "What's that smell?" I hear Aaron ask somebody. My curtain flies open and there stands the whole band. "Did you smoke that whole bag of kush I bought you earlier?" Tino asks amazed. I nod and laugh. "You look so ripped right now." Phil says with a smirk. "Why'd you smoke so much?" Aaron asks. I shrug and frown. "Just need an escape." I say softly. I hand my bong to Tino, meaning for him to empty it in the sink. "Move." I mumble to them all. They all walk into the front leaving me to jump down and follow them.

I walk into the front and they all look at me. "We have to go back stage in five." Austin says. I roll my eyes and sigh. "When did we park?" I ask anyone but Austin. "An hour ago." Phil says with a grin. I nod and slip on my vans. "I'm going out for a smoke." I mumble. I open the door and go outside before turning around and closing it. I take my pack of smokes out and pull out one as well as my lighter. I put the pack back in my pocket and I stick the cigarette in mouth. I quickly light it and take a nice long drag.

As I finish my smoke and throw it, the guys come walking out. "Lets go." Aaron says. I follow them to the stage and listen as some of them talk to each other. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I was feeling good, still high as fuck but I was like a girl on her period, I was moody. I just wanted to perform, to feel that sense of hope again. Performing is a sense of security for me, to feel needed and wanted makes me feel like I have a reason to live.

Phil's P.O.V:

After our set we all went back to the bus and decided to party. "Hey, can I talk to you in the back?" Austin asks. I nod and put my beer on the table. I get up and follow Austin to the back. "So? What happened?" He asks curiously. "Well..." I start. I tell him everything Alan said and he smirks a little. "Thanks man." He pats my back and walks into the front. I could smell the liquor off of him, he's obviously drunk already. "Let's party!" I hear Tino shout. I smile and walk into the front to see everybody dancing and drinking. "Wheres my beer?" I yell to Aaron. He shrugs and looks around. "Grab another one man!" He yells over the music.

I ended up grabbing another two beers and sitting on the couch. "Why aren't you partying?" Tino shouts at me. I shrug and lean back. "Not really up for it." I respond back. He frowns and I look around to see only Aaron and Tino and a few others. I really wasn't up for partying, my head was starting to pound. I get up and start walking to the back. I open the door and I stop dead in my tracks. My eyes widen and I literally feel them burn a little. "Oh god, I'm sorry." I mumble. I quickly close the door and I run back to the front.

"Aaron? Can I talk to you?" I ask him quietly. He raises an eyebrow and nods. I bring him into the very front where nobody was. "I uh, I just saw Alan and Austin having.... Sex." I say awkwardly. "What? That means they made up." Aaron says happily. I shake my head and I look at him weirdly. "That means they're drunk and won't remember in the morning." I'm being dead serious and Aaron's still smiling. "Aaron, that means they won't be okay, they will remember everything and they'll fight." I try getting the point across to him, his face drops and I see a sense of worry in his eyes. "Shit." Aaron mumbles. Shit was right, this was all going to go downhill and I really don't want tomorrow morning to come.

I went and laid in my bunk after having a few more beers with Tino. Alan and Austin still haven't came out from the back, so they're either still fucking or they're sleeping. I'm just worried for them, worried to see how things go. I just hope they don't end up totally hating on each other. This either goes well and they talk things out or it'll go bad. I can't worry about this now, I need sleep. We'll just see what happens tomorrow.

I try to block out the sounds of music and loud moans and groans. This was one of worst nights for me. I could literally hear everything that was happening in the back. I desperately grab my headphones and plug them into my phone as quickly as I can. I put on a random song and blast it. Finally, a temporary escape. I turn on my side and close my eyes. Before you know it, I fall asleep.