Unspoken (Kaylor)

U n s p o k e n

Have you ever wonder how it feels like to have all of this emotions clustered inside of you?

You find yourself hurting, yet you want to chase after the one you love till' the end of the universe?

Have you ever felt cold dread?

The ones like sharp needles of ice piercing through your skin?

Have you ever found yourself selflessly loving someone, that you're ready to give everything and anything just to have them in your arms?

Have you ever found yourself sacrificing your own happiness just to see the one that you love happy, into someone else's arms?

I love her recklessly, I didn't care about myself. I found myself doing the things I swore not to. I gave her everything until nothing's left.

She has my heart and it will be hers forever.

It was draining me, mentally and emotionally. I'm physically strong but when I am alone, my legs tremble, threatening to buckle as tears starts to fall.

I lost myself in love, I got mad in it. I took the opportunity that I thought was real. It's probably me and my silly crazy mind who's madly in love with her that made me think that she loves me more than just her best friend too.

I really thought that I had a chance to finally call her 'mine'.

But...

I was wrong...

Because as he came into the picture...

Everything just fell apart.

Scratch that...

Everything's meant to fall apart.

He was the reality that snapped me off my illusions, my reverie.

"Karlie, can you help me?" He asked meekly, face tinted-red. I spun around and put on my mask, afraid to show my real emotions as I face him.

"With what?" I smiled, happiness plastered on my face is in contrast with my inner turmoil.

"Help? With what?" I thought to myself as he looked at me with his green eyes.

"Taylor and I, we've been dating for a few months and, I need your help. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend, I want to make everything perfect for the most perfect girl that I've ever seen in my entire life."

"Just a friend, huh..."

What's running inside your mind, Taylor?

Smiling though my heart is crushed, I muster the courage to speak one of the most painful yes that passes through my lips.

He smiled at me and held my hand as he excitedly said, "thank you." Before hugging me tightly.

As I hugged him back, a lone tear escaped from my eye and as I pulled away I immediately told him, goodbye.

Little did he know that, I ran and ran, with no destination inside my mind as tears flow freely from my eyes. One step over the other, I ran as fast as I could passing by bridges, trees and people. I found myself running until I get to the secluded part of the park, huffing intensely with her picture still inside my head.

I laid down the grass, tired, panting, sweating, out of breath.

I closed my eyes and listened to the deafening silence that highlights the internal chaos inside of me.