Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

Chapter 46

CARL'S POV.

A long time has passed since dad told us about the shit that went down today. Finding the camp of people, most likely who took Bob and then falling for their traps.

I'm on my official last round as a blood donor. Maggie constantly warns us that she can't take too much blood from us either. Dad even gave a little blood too after Nick. I'm not sure if it was for my benefit or Madison's though. Either way, we've done all that we can for her. Now she has to fight for herself.

It's pitch dark outside but regardless the whole group has gone out to look for Bob again, leaving me, Abbie, Nick, Maggie, Rosita, Eugine, Gabriel and Judith behind.
"Okay. I think thats enough now. We've done out part, now she has to do hers." Maggie examines and takes out the IV in both mine and Madisons arm.

"Her chances are slim." Eugene comments
"Shut up." Rosita snaps.
"Maybe we could pray for her." Gabriel suggests.
I snort. "Madison would piss herself laughing if she heard that. She doesn't believe." I say.
"Well, I do. So i'll pray for her." He argues.
"Whatever." I retort.

I walk into the backroom where Gabriel has his 'study' set up and a comfortable couch, where he sleeps. I close the door behind me and pick up Judith from her make-shift cot. I slide down the wall still holding her in my arms.
"How long do you think we have to wait for her to wake up?" I ask her.
Her blue eyes look up at me and she rattles a wooden cross that was found in the room.
"This conversation would be a lot easier if you could talk." I chuckle.

I hear the door open and Maggie steps inside, she takes one look at me against the wall and walks over to join me.
"How did everything go downhill so quickly?" She asks.
I shrug.
"Ever since the prison was out of the picture everything went bad. We got split. Terminus. Bob. Madison. Everythings gone bad." She groans.

"Things went to shit way before the prison." I point out.
"True."
"A lot of things happened to people who didn't deserve it. I may have lost my faith over the years but I still have hope.
Hope that Madison will wake, that Beth isn't dead and that someday we will find her. Hope that this world gets better somehow." She explains.

I nod and Judith reaches her hands so that Maggie will take her. Maggie smiles and reaches for her too, placing her on her lap.
"This has messed Abbie up. Hasn't it?" Maggie asks.
"Or just had her realize how serious everything is."
"She usually talks to me about anything but when I asked how she was, she just refused to talk." She tells me.

"She was probably just processing everything."
"I seen her talking to you right when we came through the door. What were you talking about?" She asks.
I shrug, something about our conversation seems private and very personal to her. She trusted me with that information.
"Nothing really. Just small talk." I lie.

Maggie sighs. "I want to help her but I don't know how."
"She'll be okay." I assure her.
"If Madison doesn't wake up... Abbie wouldn't be able to handle it." She sniffs.
This must be what Abbie had been talking about. Everyone underestimated her.
"She's not as little as you think she is, you know."

"I just don't want to see her go through what she went through with her mother again."
I shake my head. "That was nothing. It's no secret that they all didn't get along with their mother but her siblings are different."
"But their reactions, I mean, Madison trashed her hou-"
"That was just their way of moarning, dealing with what happened. I don't really think it was the pain of loss. We've all seen that from somebody here. You lose a bit of hope when someone dies but Abbie is sure that Mads will wake and so am I. She hasn't lost herself. She has hope."

"You seem to know her pretty well?" Maggie says, slightly shocked.
"I don't know. All I know is that I related to her more than I thought I did."

"We should go stay with Madison so, and be there when she wakes up." Maggie smiles.
"Yeah." I help her up as she hold Judith tightly to her side and we join the others outside.
******************************

A long time has passed now and the morning light has already begun to shine through the stain glass windows. My eyelids feel heavy as I lean against the alter table. K drifted in and out of sleep a while ago on the benches but I couldn't really fall asleep properly knowing Mads could wake at any minute. I want to be there.

Everyone returned hours ago with still no Bob. The church is completely silent, even with almost everyone awake by now. The only sound we can hear is the light drizzle of rain on the roof. I can tell as more time passes the positivity that we once had has vanished and people are beginning to grow nervous about Bob and Madison
.
"It's ironic isn't it." Nick speaks up to nobody in particular.
"What?" Michonne asks.
"Ironic that she could die in a church, a real graveyard right outside."
"She's not gonna die." Abbie and I snap at the same time.
Michonne shakes her head. "Don't say that Nick. Have some hope."
He snorts. "Hope? Hope for what. Shes a goner everybody knows it. They just  won't admit it to themselves." He huffs.

"Enough Nick!" Abbie argues.
"Or what?"
She balls her tiny fists at her sides and turn her head to ignore him.
He slams his hand down on the alter beside Madison.
"Do you want to know the worst part?" He starts.
I roll my eyes.
No.

Unfortunately he keeps talking anyways.
"IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I ran away from both of them-" he points to dad.
"Even though they both saved me. I just ran and she was trying to keep up. She spotted the traps and she was running beside me because I just couldn't run anymore and then the next thing I know, she wasn't there. She was caught."

Nobody responds or comforts him, in fact I think everyone is pretty much uncomfortable with this emotional outburst. I just don't understand him.
I've been trying to look after her, like she did for me for all those years even though I didn't deserve it and I knew it then too but I let her anyways. It should have been me." He rants.

"Maybe don't fuck up next time." The words blurt from my mouth before I can stop them.
"CARL!" Dad warns me, his face contorted with anger.
"You weren't there. You don't understand." Dad shouts.
"It could've been any of us Nick. It just happened to be her. She's a tough girl, she found out a lot for us out there and she held herself together pretty well considering she knew what was coming. She doesn't take shit from anyone so I'd be surprised if she didn't wake up to hunt that guys friends down and kill them herself." Dad comforts Nick.

Dads words surprise me. He and Madison argue more than I've heard anyone argue ever, but the sound of respect in his voice for Madison rings as clear as a bell. The church falls silent again and we continue to wait. I look up when I hear a soft groan. For a second I think that I see Madison's fingers twitch and I blink hard, clearing my vision. Im exhausted, maybe she didn't.

I can't help but move closer to her though, studying her face carefully. Others come to join me at the table. Her eyebrows knit together and suddenly a loud gasp rips from her body. Sweat trickles down her head and I wait a second longer in confusion and then her eyes snap open, wide with fear.
"CARL!" She shouts.