Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

Chapter 115

Madisons pov.

I climb back in through the window and peak out the bedroom door. The hall seems clear. The only person in sight is my reflection in a long landscape mirror that sits steadily on the wall.

Still, clear and clean from all the dirt and blood now, she still looks frightening, a stranger to my eyes. I shake my head and only hope that I can fool Deanna into thinking this is really me. Prim, proper, clean, no mistakes and certainly no reactions.

My mind wanders back to Ricks word. Maybe he's right in thinking that this could be a real home for us, with walls strong enough to secure our future. One without pain and loss, desperation and the greediness of survival. I try to ignore the voice inside me that tells me I need those things too. Without them you become ignorant and weak, much like the people here. It's not their fault. They chose the life that anyone would want over the life outside these walls.

I tear my eyes from the reflections gaze and make my way downstairs. I take one step at a time, unsure of who I want to bump into the least. Sure enough, at the foot of the stairs I'm met by a familiar stance.

He turns to face me and I stop in my tracks. After a second and third glance I realize it's Rick at the bottom of the stairs. I slowly take the final steps to the bottom to stare at him in shock. Ricks face is not his own. I smile, finding humor in the fact that he also looks like a stranger. I wonder does he feel the same as I do when he looks at his reflection.

His beard has been completely shaven off, not even a single trace of stubble is on his now bare skin. His hair is also shorter. He looks younger than I thought he was and not nearly as scary anymore. I'm not sure if I like that. All in all, I never really noticed that he was a handsome man beneath it all.

"We should probably talk." He murmurs.
"About your make over ?" I tease.
He rolls his eyes at me. Still not impressed. Fair enough.
I nod in agreement.
"Do you mind if I do something first?"
I nod towards Luke, standing in the corner of the sitting room, sharpening his knife.
"I should apologize." I admit through gritted teeth.
Rick nods. "Find me later."

I walk towards Luke and glance around the room for peoples stares but nobody looks. It's my own shaming staring back at me.
Lovely.

"Luke, can I talk to you for a minute?" I whisper when I'm next to him.
Just as quickly, I move swiftly back to the stairs, giving him no time to reject me and I pray he follows me upstairs.
I open the door to the same bedroom and sigh with relief when I hear his footsteps on the stairs.

He stands in the doorway while I linger at the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry for attacking you." I blurt.
He's silent for a few seconds before closing the door behind him and moving closer into the room.
"I'm sorry for retaliating."
I stare at him, wondering if there's more to that sentence.
"And... for talking to Deanna about you... and Abbie."

The sound of her name punches the air out of me and I find myself clasping my chest as if that could stop my heart from breaking apart. The silence in the room is so loud I feel the need to cover my ears. It's all I can hear and I can't bare the awkwardness any longer.

I don't even realize I'm picking at the stitches in my face until he swats my hand away. I feel my skin turn red in embarrassment. Has that always been my nervous tell?

I hate that its awkward and it feels like we're walking on egg shells because its never been like this with us.
"Sit down. I'll take them out." He points to the stitches.
I turn away and shake my head. "They're fine."
"They're barely hanging on."
I sigh. "Luke-"
"They'll get infected Maddie. Just sit for Christ sake."

His hand gently pushes down on my shoulder and I don't argue this time. I sit on the edge of the bed and I hear him mumbling something about being "so fucking stubborn."