The Dream

Chapter 24

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I tried to sleep in as long as I could  the next morning, I didn't see the reason to wake up. I wouldn't be able to smile anymore. If I don't have him what's to smile about. But, I am angry with him. He broke up with me over the phone, it is a little douchebag of him. I miss him though, If I told that to Cal she'd probably slap me.. I should be angry but I miss him. I am a horrible person, and a fat one, a fat, ugly, horrible person. That's why he broke up with me, because I was too fat for him and he and his fans knew it. All the sudden I heard my mum yell "Lunch!". I already missed breakfast, Cal still sat in the bed with me. I could see her on her phone scrolling through her instagram feed. She got up and shook me "Chris, chris get up." I got up with my cell phone close to hand. I went to the kitchen, "Christine, do you and Cal want some breakfast instead?" I looked at Cal, she shook her head. So, I agreed. "No mum, I'm not hungry anyway." I just grabbed a cup from the cupboard and got water. My mum looked at me strange. "You okay dear?" I looked back, "It's nothing mum. "Harry broke up with her" Cal said sitting down at the family table eating pizza. I looked at her, angry. "Awe, I'm sorry hun." She tried to hug me but I shrugged her off. "I'm fine." Then I ran to the bathroom. I was too embarrassed, I didn't want her to know. I paced around in the bathroom with tears in my eyes. I looked into the mirror. "You're so nasty. You don't deserve them anyway. That's why Harry dumped you, you're so disrespectful and gross." I thought to myself still staring at my reflection. I took the bathroom razor and sliced my wrist. "You're so fat. You're so ugly you deserve the pain. You deserve the blood to be lost in your filthy body." After I had sliced 4 times already I had stopped, feeling the blood that had dripped down to my fingertips. I slid all the  way down to the ground from the wall. "What had I done." was the number one thing I had felt at that moment. I quickly went to the sink and washed the blood off. I grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed the gashes clean. "How would I hide this?" "How would my mum react if she found out?" "Would my best friend hate me?" "Would she think I was crazy?!" All those questions went through my head. I opened the bathroom door and ran to my room, dove under the covers and switched my phone on that was still in my hand. Cal walked into the room "You okay, I'm sorry I told her, I told her what happened and she wants to kick his ass too." Cal laughed, as did I. "I'm not feeling whale." (I mean well but I just like it as Whale. Get over it) Cal looked at me, "You do look sick. Sorry babe, about everything..." I forgave her as she grabbed her stuff to leave. "Are you leaving?" "Yeah, I need to be home by 2. It's 2:30." I apoligised for making her late and she left. My mum walked in, "You okay hun? I nodded, she came to my side of the bed to feel my head. "Yepp, you are running a fever. She left the room to get me water, "Now you rest. Rest is the only way you'll get better." She kissed my head and left the room. I got up and closed the door. With the toilet paper still wrapped on my wrist, I unwrapped it and looked. I didn't mean to do that to myself I just kind of tranced. I'm definitely going crazy.