At the time I did not believe in love.
Well I did but, the reason I believed in love, was the reason I hated it.
It sends you into this cycle of constant suffering.. But then gives you ten thousand waves of happiness...
I never meant to fall in love. Especially at this time in my life where I could barely love myself. I would not even say barely. Loving myself was nonexistent. But like they say, love comes unexpectedly. Whether you want it or not, it will creep up on you, either giving you the best time of your life, or making you wish you never had to go through the horrible work of feeling such a way where you wonder why you had to fall in love.
The love I had with this special boy was remarkable. There would be times where I'd kiss the hell of of him. I remember the first day he told me he loved me... I remember when it all went downhill... Then there would be times where I'd have to tell him to not fall apart on me... I'd have to tell him that it's going to be alright. That losing yourself would only make me lose myself too. I was completely broken but he always tried to hold me together..
Love is honestly just pure suffering. It goes from being a fantasy, to something you question whether or not to hold on to still. My love for him was that type of love that was worth all the pain, tears, scars, happiness, joy, and beauty. But with the way I live, and the way he lived, no matter what, a painful journey was inevitable. That's the thing about love. It never last forever. In the end it will always be just you left. In the end, one person will always fall out of love, while the other one's feelings is more intense than ever. If that does not happen, then one will end up dead, while the other ends up broken.
A man with the name of Gary Zukav once said that " A spiritual partnership is between people who promise themselves to use all of their experiences to grow spiritually. They use their emotions to show them how to create constructive and healthy and joyful consequences instead of destructive and unhealthy and painful consequences." But let's be real. With the most painful and constant hurt, comes the most unforgiving love.
Love fucks us up.
But love is a raw emotion.
There's nothing I could have asked for, than to feel the love i've felt with him.
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Say My Name
Romansa"But Zachary remember this.... Although you are alone. You are not unwanted." Audrey knows nothing about how it feels to be happy. She lives each and every day with her inner thoughts, constantly dragging her down into a state of misery and self d...
