The Belladonna

Chapter 23

"It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember." - Bella

Harry's POV:

It's been a few days since Ed died.

The anger that was boiling inside me hasn't ceased; in fact, it's doubled. The fact that this Captain Bradwr had the guts to send an assassin into the palace to kill my brother just to prove a point pisses me off more than anything.

We had already had a funeral for him and Queen Phillipa made the difficult announcement to the country, as well as announcing the birth of her twins, Prince Edward the Fourth and Princess Elizabeth. I wanted to feel joy for my niece and nephew, but all I felt was anger.

The only person that's been able to keep me sane through this has been Bella. She's hardly ever left my side unless I asked her too, which wasn't very often, and she's been trying to help me cope. I feel horrible because I know I should ask her how she is - she's the one who saw it all happen.

But I'm being selfish right now. I want to mourn it all right now, get my sorrow gone so whenever we leave all I'll have left is the hatred that will drive me to kill that damn captain.

"Harry?"

The small, timid voice made me look over, seeing Bella standing by the doorway, looking over at me shyly. "Can I come in?" she asks and I nod, watching her as she walked over to me, offering me a small smile.

"The boys are going to go into town and they were wondering if you'd join them?" she asks and I shake my head. "I don't really feel like it." I mutter and she lets out a sigh. "I didn't think you would." she whispers and I give her a small glare.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I growl and she gives me an even look. "You haven't taken this well. I know it's nearly impossible to cope with the death of someone you love, but you don't have to let it cripple you." she says gingerly and I roll my eyes.

"Like you have experience with that." I snap and she shrinks down, tears coming to her eyes. The memory of her father flashes in my mind and I curse myself, my eyes closing as a sigh escapes my lips.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I say and she puts a hand on my arm, making me open my eyes to look at her. She gave me a small smile as a reply before squeezing my arm. "It's okay. I know this is tough for you." she says and I nod.

"But Harry, promise me something." she says and I turn to her fully, giving all of my attention to her. "Yes?" I ask and she looks at me determinedly, the way she always does whenever she's fighting for what she wants. That makes me smile a little, knowing that she's putting so much effort into helping me.

"You can't let this cripple you. You can't be consumed by hate and rage. It'll blind you and you won't be able to defeat him. You have to be able to work through this without relying on your emotions. If you rely on hate, what good will come of it? You'll be consumed by the pain and it will tear you apart." she says and I frown.

Here I was, saying I was going to do just the thing she didn't want me to do.

"What do I do then?" I ask and she lets out a sigh. "You mourn, you feel the hatred, you feel the pain, and then you let it go." she says and my eyes widen.

"Let it go?? Just toss it all aside and forget what happened to my brother?!" I yell and she cringes before shaking her head. "No! I'm saying to let the pain go. Let the rage go. Keep your memories in tact without tainting yourself. You don't forget Edward, you remember him, but remove the pain that comes with it." she says and I feel my shoulders sag.

"Is that what you did?" I whisper and she stays silent. "You had to do that whenever I killed your father?" I murmur, looking up at her, seeing her lower her eyes with a small sigh.

"Yes. If I had held on to the hate I felt for you when you killed him, Harry, I would never have come back with you. I never would've agreed to come aboard the Belladonna, never sailed again with you, never gotten engaged, and I never would've married you. If I held onto that hatred, where would I be now? An unforgiving, unfortunate person sulking by the sea. That's what I would've been." she replies and the mere thought of her not being with me makes me ache.

That really struck a cord in me and I brought her into my arms, holding her to my chest as my hands held her body tightly. One hand went to her head, my fingers playing in her short hair, my other hand gripping her back.

"I don't want that to happen to me." I whisper and she hugs me back with her one arm, her hurt arm still bandaged and held against her side. "I know Harry. I know. That's why I'm going to help you." she replies and I feel tears spring to my eyes.

"I don't want to lose anything else." I croak and both of us sink to the ground, and I can tell by the way her body is shaking, Bella is crying too. "You won't." she whimpers and we stay there for a while in silence, the only thing heard was our soft sobs whenever we allowed them to escape.

***

A few days after that, we were ready to sail off. Bella had gone to see Gregory again to get her arm checked out, and he was able to remove the stitches without the wound reopening. She still had to be careful and easy with her actions, but she was thrilled nonetheless.

Queen Phillipa had taken charge over the kingdom and was doing so extremely well. There was a portrait of Edward now hung in the gallery, which was a good reminder of what an excellent person he was.

I felt slightly better about what happened ever since my talk with Bella, but it still was hard to admit and believe. Hard to accept.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay any longer?" Mrs. Martin asks and I give her a weak smile, shaking my head. "No, I think we've overstayed our visit here. I don't want to put anyone else in danger." I say firmly and she gives me a soft smile before hugging me, her hug resembling Bella's so much that I couldn't help but return it.

The crew was now boarded on the ship as well as fresh supplies. "Goodbye, Mrs. Martin." I say, giving her a small smile and she returns it, whispering a goodbye before letting me go and turning to her daughter. I left them alone and walked up on the ship, seeing everyone getting the supplies situated and ready for cast off.

"Captain, where would you like to set our course for?" Niall asks and I force a chuckle. "You don't have to address me formally, Niall. Set our course for Southeast. We have something to do before we handle Bradwr." I say, the bitterness of his name making me shake with anger at the thought of it.

"Where are we going?" he asks out of curiosity and I smile. "There's an island just off the coast down there that isn't inhabited. It hasn't been for years. We're going to make a small base there and drop off a lot of our treasure before taking on that ship. It's just precautionary." I say and he nods his head.

"Sounds like a great plan." he says before scurrying off and going up to the wheel, telling Louis the coordinates and making sure everything was going according to plan. I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped, turning around to see Bella smiling at me softly.

"Oh, it's you. Don't scare me like that." I say and she lets out a breathy laugh, nodding her head. "Sorry. I just wanted to let you know that everything's ready to go." she says and I give her a curt nod before turning to my crew.

"Pull the anchor!! We're casting off!" I command and they all yell back their answers before getting to work, the anchor pulling up and the bridge being secured before the sails were let out and we caught the wind, our ship beginning to move slowly.

"Where are we going?" Bella asks and I sigh. "To an island off the coast just Southeast of here. We'll stash all of our things there until the war is over. I won't take any chances." I reply and she nods, a small smile on her face.

"We're going to win, Harry. I know it." she says, rubbing my arm in a comforting manner and I smile at her. "I certainly hope so, Bella." I say, looking away from her and out on the sea, a small part of me consumed by the anger as I thought of what Bradwr has already done.

"I certainly do."

So sorry for not updating in a while! Man I've been busy! But this chapter is up (yay!) and I'm hoping to update sometime in the coming week, but I can't be too sure. Anyways, the quotes I'm leaving up are ALMOST completed, only a few chapters left for you to put the pieces together! I really hope that you enjoy this chapter, even if it is a little on the shorter side. Love you guys!!