The Belladonna

Chapter 34

Harry's POV:

It's so hard to sleep by myself now. All I can think about is how much I want Bella to be here with me so I can wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. 

I should've never let her out of my sight. None of this would've happened if I had just kept her close to me. 

But since I did, I just have to focus on getting her back. Get Bella back, defeat Bradwr, and then leave. Of course it isn't going to be that simple, but there was something about me that just wished it was.

That thought lingered in my mind as I drifted off to sleep. But all night long I continued to toss and turn, only in a light sleep the entire night. The bed felt colder than usual and it was hard to find peace whilst I knew Bella was off somewhere, probably being tortured because of my actions.

The next morning was dreadful.

My body ached with pain and the bags under my eyes were very noticeable. I don't think I ever entered a peaceful, actually restoring sleep the whole night. 

I walked out of my quarters, rubbing the back of my neck before walking up the stairs and towards Louis, who was now steering the ship. He seemed oddly at peace, despite yesterday's fight. His terrified face when Shayla shoved him off the ship flashed in my mind and I couldn't help but smile, going up to him and patting him on the back.

"How's it looking?" I ask and he gives me a smile. "All is good. The weather is looking decent, although there looks to be some storm clouds to the East. But since we are headed South, we should miss it no problem." he reports and I nod to him.

"How long until we reach Gough Island?" I question and he stays quiet for a moment, looking down at the map and the compass before letting out a sigh. 

"That's going to be the problem." he says and I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean? Are we that far behind?" I ask worriedly, Bella flashing in my mind, knowing that her life was on the line right now. 

"Our little fight most likely put us almost a day behind Captain Bradwr's real ship. He may already be landing by now. But we won't reach Gough Island until tomorrow morning, if the wind keeps up like this." he says sadly and I let out a sigh. 

"So we don't know how long they've been there." I murmur and Louis frowns. "Don't lose hope, Harry. I'm sure Bella's fine. She's a strong girl." he says, putting a hand on my shoulder and making me look up at him, seeing his small smile.

"If there's anyone who could handle being in a situation like that, it's Bella." he says and I smile, nodding to him. "You're right. She's too stubborn to give up." I say and he smiles back at me, nodding his head.

"That's the spirit." he says, patting my shoulder before continuing to steer. I leave his side and go to the edge of the upper deck, looking down at the crew as they went about their daily jobs, nothing going amiss as we sailed towards Bella.

My mind was incredibly anxious and I couldn't help but let out a sigh. 

Yes, Bella was incredibly strong-willed and stubborn. But would she really be able to withstand any condition that she is placed in on that ship? It's the same thing that happened with Drake a few years ago. She stayed tough through most of it until he finally broke her.

It took me a few weeks to get her back to normal, but even then the nightmares still came. What was this going to do to my girl? No, not just my girl. My wife?

Was she going to be able to take whatever they threw at her? Bradwr is vicious, we already know that. He takes matters into his own hands and he does whatever he can to make sure his opponents feel like they're weakened in some way. Would he do that with Bella?

Actually, there's no doubt about it. He is doing that to her. Why wouldn't he? He's trying to get me to completely snap whenever we meet up, and seeing Bella in a degraded, miserable state will definitely get me fired up. That's why I have to be ready to see her in any type of injury because that's just what's going to happen.

"Please Bella, don't give up. Don't give up on me yet." I whisper, my fists rolling up as I stared at the sea. I've been a complete mess without her around. 

I've never realized it before, but Bella was the driving force that kept me emotionally stable. Without her by my side...I don't know what I'm doing half the time. The pain of Edward's death and the fury I still feel because of it is welling up inside of me, just waiting to explode. The terror of losing the one I love, the one who keeps me grounded, is making me lose my mind.

Shayla, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn do wonders, don't get me wrong. But they aren't Bella. They can't calm me down like her, or make me laugh like she does. They can't get me to feel like I'm the luckiest man alive just to have the privilege to know them. 

That's what Bella does. She's the one I've been striving to be like, to be more compassionate and understanding like her. But I'm not like Bella at all. I'm angrier, full of vengeance, not understanding, blinded by my desires...she's not any of those.

And I'm afraid that if I lose her, that I'll embody all of those bad traits for good and it will overpower me. I don't want that. I don't want to lose my love.

I was forced out of my thoughts by a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, seeing Liam giving me a small smile. "We were going to get a bottle of rum out to ease the tension, since there's nothing in sight. Do you want a drink, Captain?" he asks and I smile, knowing the real reason.

They wanted me to be happy again. 

"Yeah, I'll join you." I say, following him down to the lower deck, where most of the crew were waiting with grins on their faces. Zayn walked up to me with a mug full to the brim, handing it to me with a smile. 

"Drink up, Captain." he says and I chuckle, clutching the drink in my hand. "Wait, we need a toast." Shayla says before I drink and I nod, agreeing with her. "What'll it be, Captain?" Niall asks and I think about it for a little bit, staring down at the liquid in my mug before a small smile came to my face. "To Bella." I say, raising my mug and everyone instantly cheered, every mug flying into the air as the crew echoed my toast, in our heads all hoping that our Lady was safe, and that we would get her back soon.

"To Bella!!"

Short chapter, I know. I apologize. But these next few chapters are going to be extremely long and extremely intense. WHO'S READY?!?! The biggest arc is about to take place, so I hope everyone's prepared!! Anyways, let me know what you think about this chapter! There's some pretty important details in here!