The Belladonna

Chapter 43

Isabella's POV:

It was the day after we left the island. The ship was achingly quiet, not a lot of talk among the surviving crew. Shayla, Louis and Niall had tried to talk to Harry a few times, but they were shrugged off every time. I only got one sentence in to him, and that was "I'm sorry."

He was absolutely devastated over what happened in the past two weeks, which was something I understood. But at the same time, he didn't realize we were going through the same pain as well.

I was standing at the ledge, looking at the water with a sad look on my face. The water no longer looked warm and inviting, but cold and desolate, like it would swallow me whole and leave me at the bottom, never to be found.

The memory of me being drowned in the water flashes in my mind and I curl my hands up on the railing, closing my eyes as I felt my body shake with fear. I was in despair: I was afraid of the thing I used to love.

Wiping a tear from my eyes I backed away from the ledge, my heart not pounding as fast as I put distance between me and the terrifying waves. I felt sick to my stomach, making me hold my tummy with my hands and grit my teeth together.

I still haven't told Harry all that's happened.

I don't know if I should now, though, will all he's being put through as of now. I feel that it would only make him worse.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I turn around to see Shayla looking at me with concerned eyes, making me force a smile. "I'm okay." I whisper and she shakes her head. "Don't lie to me, Bella. I need to know what happened." she says, coming over to me and taking my hand, leading me to the upper deck, where no one would overhear us.

"Tell me what happened, from the moment they took you." she says and tears come to my eyes at the memory. I was dragged through the dirt...my dignity was stripped away...and most of all...

"It's not pleasant." I whisper and she puts a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. I'm sure I can handle it." she says, a pained smile on her face and memory of her past comes to mind and I nod my head.

I spent the next hour telling Shayla every single detail of what happened. From when I was captured, the different ways they tortured me, to when we got to the cave, what Harry's father told me, and how the entire thing fell to shambles as I had to kill Harry's father.

I was a blubbering mess by the time I was finished, sobbing into my hands as Shayla held me in her arms. She had tears in her eyes too, but she was shocked above everything else.

"Oh God, Bella. I'm so sorry. That is so messed up. But you made the right decision. Harry's father wouldn't have accepted any other alternative, and Harry would've never killed him. It had to be done in order for us to live." she whispers in my ear and I nod my head to her, wishing Harry could understand it that easily.

"Harry will come around, you'll see." she says, giving me a small smile and I lower my head. "Will he?" I ask and she stays quiet for a moment. "He's not like us, Shayla." I murmur and she lets out a heavy sigh. "No, he's not. He doesn't forgive easily." she murmurs and I feel a fresh set of tears come to my eyes and I angrily wipe them away.

"I'm so sick of crying!!" I shout and Shayla watches me with a frown. I wipe away the tears over and over again but every time I wipe them away it seems new tears are there to replace them. I rub my eyes harder and harder until Shayla finally grabs my hands, stopping me and making me look at her.

She had a concerned look on her face, as well as an understanding one. "Look, Bella. You just went through a tragedy. We all have. It's natural to cry, it doesn't mean you're weak or anything like that. You've had to be the strong one for Harry, even now you're trying, but everyone has their limit Bella. We can only take too much until we break down. But we just have to pick ourselves back up and keep going." She says and I sniffle, thinking about what she was saying.