The Belladonna

Chapter 38

Harry's POV:

My father stared at me with sad eyes, slowly sitting up to look at me. "I didn't think you'd catch on that fast." he says with a sad smile and I grit my teeth together.

"How could I not notice?! I'm not that stupid! How...how could you think I could kill you?" I ask, my body shaking slightly and he lets out a small sigh. "I was hoping your anger would blind you enough to kill me." he says honestly and my jaw clenches angrily.

"You wanted me to be angry? Why? Why did you do all of this?!" I demand and he looks up at me with tears in his eyes. "I wanted you to be the one to end it. I've been a horrible father." he whispers and I narrow my eyes.

"Tell me the real story of what happened." I say and he swallows with a sigh. "The crash was an accident. It wasn't forced or planned or anything like that. There was a storm that knocked us off course and we ended up slamming into rocks on an island. It's a little fuzzy, but I remember what happened." he murmurs and I swallow hard, waiting for him to continue.

"We were stranded for weeks. I knew it was only a matter of time until we were all dead or someone came for us. I was weak, but I survived off of the food on the ship. Your mother..." he trails off and closes his eyes, looking down ashamed. 

My body was shaking slightly as I pictured my mother, a smile on her face before it changed to the bloody, deadened look in her eyes on the ship. "What happened to her?" I whisper and he opens his eyes but doesn't look up at me.

"She had survived the crash, but barely." he says and my eyes widen in surprise. "Your mother was holding on for dear life, but the food supply was low and I was scared. Scared and weak. I let her die to save myself." he says ashamed, hanging his head in sorrow as I stare at him in shock.

"She could've lived?" I ask lowly and he shakes his head. "I don't know. She was paralyzed from the crash and couldn't move as it was. It was only a matter of time...but I was so selfish. I should've tried harder for her." he murmurs and I grit my teeth together.

"Once she actually died the reality set it on me. I cried for a long time because of my decision, and I still feel guilty and ashamed because of what I did. I knew I couldn't return to the throne after I did something like that. There was no way I was fit to rule if I would save myself instead of others." he says sadly and I clench my fists tightly.

"I did hear you, Harry. When you found us. I so desperately wanted to open up my eyes and tell you it was alright, but I couldn't. It was agonizing to lay still for so long while you screamed and cried over us. But it was a blessing that you decided not to take us back with you. You gave us a funeral and everything. I escaped the faulty grave you gave me, but when I went to look for you before you left, you had already gone." he says and I stare at him in horror.

"You...you could hear me?" I ask lowly and he nods his head. I look down, my hair falling over my eyes as I begin to shake. "How could you? How could you do that to me? I wanted to save you...I wanted you to come back. Even with what you did...you still should've come back!" I cry out, feeling tears in my eyes and he lets out a dry chuckle.

"I really messed up, didn't I Harry? I thought it would be best if you thought I was gone. But then you went and became a pirate. I was so astonished by how amazing you were at it, but at the same time, I knew it was only a matter of time until you found me. You travel far and quick, son. I knew I couldn't hide from you forever. So I decided a few years ago to build up an army so I could meet you again, and ever since then my plan formed in my mind." he says and I look up, seeing him giving me a sad smile.

"You've grown so much, Harry. You've become such a wonderful man. I didn't think it'd be this hard. I've made many mistakes in my life. I should've never abandoned you or Edward, and I should've tried to save your mother. I don't want to live with my mistakes any longer, Harry. I've held on to my sins long enough...and I beg of you...please..." he trails off and my grip on my sword gets tighter.