Delightful chaos

Eleven

"Don't you think that it's actually funny and weird how we got to meet once again..." Nicholas says in an almost-harsh tone when he leans against my locker and closes it powerfully "Right, darling?" He spits calmly after a long pause.

He's seriously being such an asshole right now.

"Don't you dare!" I shout, I freeze when I realize that we took some students' attention and they started staring at us all the goddamn time I swear to God, if there wasn't anyone here paying attention to us, I wouldn't hesitate to strangle him. Really. I can't handle his stupid moves the whole year. "Don't call me that again, or I swear I'd kill you once we get out of school."

He bursts into laughter sarcastically. "Oh. I'm scared right now." He laughs once more.

I have no time to waste in a pointless conversation with a pointless living creature, I give him a mad glare before rushing away from him. It's already 2pm and I should be in my first English class.

I run hurriedly to my classroom since I was five minutes late. Mr.Smith will give me the longest lecture again, and for God's sake I'll have to listen to him and admit what I've done is (ridiculously) wrong. He pays attention to the smallest mistakes and it's fucking bothering. I can't get used to this easily. But even though, when I think correctly, I find out that I had missed too many great things and experiences in my life during the last couple of years spent in rehab. When other teenagers like me were throwing parties, I would have parties with old losers in rehab, and it was terrible. Really terrible.

Once I'm in my class, and after walking awkwardly to my seat at the back, I put my books in the table and try to focus as hard as I can. Fortunately, Mr.Smith didn't make any comments about me being too late for class but I can notice the continuous harsh glares he gives me, like, every four seconds. This is too bothering, even if it's only my teacher and I already know why he's staring, this situation wouldn't let me comfortably focus on the lesson. I try so firmly to avoid this, and I know I'd fail.

As I copy down the notes from the board, a thought about what happened to me the other night with Luke, suddenly, haunts my mind. I try to push this away too but I know I can't so I don't even try. But, really, I didn't think about this nor did I ask Tessa about it. Since that night, I had completely forgotten about what happened back then, when I actually have to think about it a little and repeat the scene.

A thought tells me that I should just let it go and pretend nothing happened at all because 1. We were both drunk so we had to except any behavior from our so-drunk-selves and 2. These kind of things happen in parties so much and it's actually normal, I'm just not used to it. Also 3. Luke used to be at the same rehab I was in and he only brings me memories of that terrible and boring place, when I don't wanna be reminded of the past, ever. Because, I'm out of that place and I will never even think about it.

Well, yeah, it sounds kind of weird but, honestly, that place was a living-hell for me , besides the tragedy of having to deal with my parents' death, I had to get over drugs, and it was a bitter reality.

"Why am I involving Luke in something he has nothing to do with? .. he isn't part of this.. he's just a teenager .. a normal person, apparently..."-

I try to stop my thoughts from leading me to thinking about that shit this way.

I shouldn't fucking think that way. What the heck happened to my brain?

Actually why am I even thinking about if I should take my distance from him and forget what happened back then or I should consider it as "something". This is unquestionable, really.

* * * *

The bill rings after about thirty minutes of just overthinking and having no idea about what Mr.Smith was explaining carefully for a whole hour. I seriously do realize that I waste a lot of my time in life just thinking and I know it's not really good for me but I can't help it.

I pack my stuff so hurriedly and get out of the classroom, avoiding all the stares that follow me since I was the first one who got out of class. I don't really care what these weird humans might think about me but I just wanna get home where there is no noise and no bullshit as fast as I can.

Rushing so fast through the few students in the hallways, to my surprise, Tessa appears on my way. There is an amused look on her face.

"What is it?" I ask her with a small smile on my face.

"Oh come on, why are you pretending like tonight is just a 'normal night'-"

What the heck? Of course tonight is just another night filled with revising for exams and doing homework and sleeping late.

After a moment of blinking at me, she says "Or maybe it isn't just a night for me."

Ahhhhh! Dammit how have I forgotten about her date tonight! She must be really nervous and excited, well that's how it looks like from her behavior.

"Ow! Shit, Tessa. We need to get you ready. Let's go home at yours!"