Nothing lasts forever

I can't

FYI:Chris and Jermaine are not J Cole and Chris Brown 😂

I laid there in Chris's arms silently weeping. I usually hate to cry in front of men as it made me look and feel weak but something about being in his arms made me feel better. "Tiana can I ask you a serious question". I looked up at him and nodded. "Why are you dating that prick Isiah", he questioned with curiosity in his eyes. "Me and Isiah have history, we were really goo friends for such a long time like really good friends to the fact that people thought we were dating. He made me laugh and made me feel special, conversations were easy with him and at my low points he gave me the feeling of euphoria. He treated me like a Queen and called me his Queen. He was and still is my drug , I've become addicted and now I'm scared about going cold turkey", my eyes watered- today was turning out to be a very emotional day. "Wow, I can see why you like him but why do you still like him if he makes you cry?. He says stroking my hair affectionately. "I still love him, things can get better, things will get better - I hope. I've loved him for so long and I'm not ready to let go, I can't". I wiped my tears and sighed at the fact I was being such a weak bitch, especially around Chris. I laughed at how silly I was being which caused Chris to look at me funny. "You okay", he asked confused. "I'm just laughing at how weak I'm being, I'm independent I'm not supposed to be here crying over niggas".  He hugged me tighter, cradling me, shushing me and stroking my head.  "Chris, why are you being so nice to me?".   He sighed and scratched his head, " I really like you and I want you to know that I'm here for you, when the world seems cold Imma be your blanket". I chuckled a bit at the fact he was being so sweet but in a corny way. He smiled at the fact that I was laughing. He inches closer until we were less than a centimetre apart, he cupped my chin and pulled me closer before our lips could touch I stopped him. "Chris, I can't, I'm still in a relationship, I'm not a cheater he might be but I'm not". Chris shook his head and scratched his neck in embarrassment. "Sorry, I forgot", he smiled weakly.

Hours had passed and Chris hadn't left my side. He wouldn't leave me alone. We were still sat out on the balcony and there was rarely a moment of silence, whether it was us talking, the wind blowing, the traffic in the distance or the whirr of aeroplanes and helicopters from above. "Did you know Future is going to Brixton in about two weeks?", he randomly asked out of the blue. I shook my head indicating I hadn't heard. "Me and Jermaine have tickets and earlier we were talking about taking you and Alyssia, would you want to come",he said. I absolutely loved Future but I didn't want to go and spread my depressing vibe. "I would love to come but I don't think I'm going to enjoy it much, sorry". "Please come, you'd enjoy yourself", he pouted holding my hands. "I'll come but don't expect me to be full of joy", I sighed. "Don't worry I'll make you happy", he winked. I rolled my eyes, "It's getting late Chris, you should go home". "Can't I sleep over" he whined. "Sure Chris! You can stay over, I can give you a manicure and pedicure and I can do your hair and we can gossip and stay up all night and talk about cute boys!", I said sarcastically. "Really!", he squealed. I laughed at his silliness, "Of course not". "Don't play with a mans emotions like that", he held his chest singing his own variation of Bryson Tiller - Don't, "forreal though can I stay over, please", he asked. I nodded my head not wanting to argue, "but you're not sleeping in my bed, okay? I'm still in a relationship". He rolled his eyes but eventually agreed. "Don't you need clothes though", I questioned. "I always have an emergency bag in the car full of my clothes, a toothbrush, towel ... All essentials I need.", he smiled proudly. "Well done, Chris", I said sarcastically giving him a thumbs up . "Are you catching an attitude with me Tiana", he said pretending to be shocked. I rolled my eyes causing him to pick me up over his shoulder and run downstairs with me, Alyssia and Jermaine were too engaged in conversation to notice. He put me in his car while he got his stuff from the boot. Next you thing you know he put me back over his shoulder and carried me upstairs purposely stomping and jumping causing my head to hurt. He rested me on his bed as he was unpacking his bag. I scrolled through Instagram and I could see Isiah gave that Jani girl a shoutout. Surely he can't be cheating they're probably good friends? But who gives their exes a shoutout? It's probably nothing.  Chris sensed something was wrong judging by my facial expression. He came over and kissed my neck; "Chris, I told you I can't kiss you I told you I'm in a relationship". "It's a crap relationship though because your not happy, plus you didn't kiss me, I kissed you, you can't kiss me but I can kiss you - think about it".