Don't Let Me Drown (DISCONTINUED)

Feelings

Matty

It's been almost two months since our parents had came back..Things have been normal. Sort of. Suzie hasn't spoken to me really.. and I don't know why, I kinda just shrugged it off. I knew we were older and I understood she'd want someone normal... Someone who wasn't me. "Matt? You coming or what?" Suzie asks looking at me, I didn't pay attention to her, I didn't want to. "No,I'm not coming." I said rather short and simply. She doesn't even know how I feel right now much less care how I felt, I turned around only to be face to face with her,she glared at me. "You promise you'd go with me." She looked at me like I just broke her heart. I groaned and got off my bed, throwing a shirt on so I could go to a stupid party I wasn't originally invited to, I'm the lame best guy friend who no one likes because they obviously see I'm in love with her, Everyone can see it. But her. "Come on." I mumbled walking out to the car, I gripped my syringe in one hand just in case I need it, knowing how the night will go I most likely will. We hopped in and she turned on the radio while I stare straight ahead not bothering to look at her because my feelings will come back but I'd rather just be depressed than suffer.
Her favorite song came on and she sung, jamming out to it, I kept my regular blank expression though. I kind of want to smile that quickly changes as we pulled up to the party. Two boys sit on the lawn of the house laughing and drunk off their asses, I remembered one of them from school but the other guy, I don't know. I walk into the party and immediately I'm handed a cup of what looks like Vodka mixed with some Whiskey, I go to my normal spot when I go to a party. The Backyard. I leaned against the brick wall and closed my eyes, hoping I could just leave soon and wouldn't have to endure this shit with Suzie. I was completely over it sighing as my favorite song came on;

This necklace that you've got wrapped around my neck
Will choke me slowly to my death
And I'm into that (Whoa Oh).
These weights are tied up to my legs
Sinking lifeless has never felt so peaceful
These waves are crashing all

I sung the song with some sort of feeling, the kind of feeling that I hated and she was going be the death of me and I could feel it. The song ended and I turned around to see Suzie making out with some guy. Her hips pushed against the guy and his hands going god knows where. My heart stopped, my chest tightened and tears welded up in my eyes and I pushed my way back into the party and out the door, not looking where I was going I ran into this guy. I didn't know him but he could see I was crying. He just stared and then extended his arms and hugged me. At this point I didn't care if I was hugging a random person or that it was a guy, I wasn't Bisexual but I guess two guys could hug without being gay. After a few minutes he released me and wiped my eyes,we stood there for a moment looking at each other. "You looked like you needed a good hug." He said looking at me. I nodded. "So what's the matter?" I started to walk towards my car sniffling a bit, I wiped my eyes again as he leaned against my car in a somewhat bad ass style with a somber face. "The girl I've loved all my life is in there making out with a guy who's better than me at everything." I replied softly looking at the ground messing with my keys. He nodded. "Well, I know you don't know me but wanna hang out? I don't really like these type of parties. I fit in like nowhere." He said chuckling. I shook my head. "Thanks but I'm just gonna go home and lay down." I sighed. He nodded understanding that I wanted to be alone. "Well. I'm Connor. It was nice talking to you. I'll probably go home too." Connor said with a slight frown. I could see he wanted someone to hang out with and was pretty lonely looking, I gave in. She didn't want me now. Maybe he would. "On second thought Connor, Come back to my place with me. We can watch some scary movies." Connor smiled big. We both got in my car and drove back to my house, maybe he'll make me forget my feelings.