I Am The Alpha (Part 1/2)

I am the Alpha - Part 63

Hey thanks again for reading!

I am once again sorry for taking so long to upload :\

i promise to upload a new part tomorrow answerting all your questions and giving you more of my ideas that i need your in put on. :)

Right now i'm in a rush so please vote, comment and enjoy

xx

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I find myself staring off into space when the usually heavenly smell of smoky bacon drifts over towards me but instead of making me ravenous like it usually would it makes me feel sick. The usual tender, mouth-watering smell is gone and instead the foul smell of lost memories taints my tongue as my mind flashes through the thousands of times I’ve experienced the smell before while sitting around a fire similar to this one, but there’s something so wrong about this time that I can’t even appreciate what used to be. This time I’m not with my brothers, not with my family, not with my tribe, this time I’m a captive and I no longer want to enjoy these simple moments. These moments will never be the same again and neither will I.

I look up as a shadow looms over me and the sickly smell increases to find one of the Blood Valley Pack hovering in front of me, his streaky blonde hair hanging partially across his Olive green eyes as he searches my face silently. My eyes linger on the plastic plate in his hand that contains a piece of toast, a fried egg and two slices of bacon all slightly charred from the open fire it was just cooked on. He extends the plate out to me and I gingerly take it.

He looks at me strangely but holds his tongue, why isn’t he saying anything? I put the plate in my lap and nod at him in thanks and he looks as if he has something on the tip of his tongue but before he can utter a word a small growl comes from over by the other side of the fire. I look up to find Cole glaring at the guy who must be Edward warningly. So now he’s ordering them not to talk to me? What is his problem? Cole’s eyes flicker to me and I roll mine back at him before once again looking down at the plate.

: ‘It’s not poisoned.’ : Cole’s voice tells me quietly obviously struggling to make a sound among my thoughts with my currently strong shields. I pick up the toast grudgingly and take a small bite, chewing very slowly before swallowing with a sigh I look back at the obviously good food that seems utterly tasteless to me. I can’t even enjoy food anymore. I rip at the toast and slowly consume it after pushing it around my plate a few times. After I’ve finished I take a small bite of the bacon which is once again good, more than good but the taste no longer affects me. I take a few more slow bites and then suddenly I feel queasy I try to ignore it but as I take another bite bile rushes up my throat and I jump up, running over to the edge of the clearing where the small contents I just put in my stomach comes back up.

I walk away from the spot and go over to a large oak tree, slumping against it before sliding to the ground and wrapping my arms around my legs, not caring about how damp I am getting from the morning dew. So now I can’t even eat. Maybe I should let the instincts instilled in me take over completely? Then again going fully into a more animalistic side of me is a very bad idea; I’d do something I’d regret. I run my fingers through the moisture filled grass slowly, closing my eyes to the world and try to focus on something, anything then where I am and what I’ve done.

I let the non existent music fill my ears and I focus on making myself imagine the steps to go with it flowing with the beat that is now flooding my mind. The familiar lyrics flood my mind and I move slightly in my slumped position, with my head against the tree, as the movements come to me like a second language. ‘Tired of being what you want me to be...’ the emotions in every word from the song absorb all of my attention and I realise how similar the story is to the pain I’m going through. I feel eyes watching me but I continue to lose myself in my imagination until the song ends and the version of myself dancing in my head falls to the ground to the last note.