In Between Takes

take 17

Coleen had to stop Maine again from hitting her own forehead. Medyo namumula na kasi ito, and the constant hitting had happened for a while now, habang nakaupo si Maine sa dulo ng kama nya. Tulala. Siguradong may iniisip. But what really alarmed Coleen would be her younger sister's eyes that used to be smiling.

They were hollow. Sad. Lost.

"Meng?" She snapped her fingers in front of her face. "Okay ka lang? Anong nangyari?"

She didn't even blink. 

"Uy, Maine!" Nilakasan na nya ang boses nya, and Maine slowly turned her head towards her. "Anong meron? Ang scary mo tonight, ha."

"I screwed up," her shoulders dropped. "I really, really screwed up, Ate."

"And?" Nakakunot ang noo ng nakatatandang kapatid. "You always screw up, Maine. That's not new anymore."

"Seryoso nga ako, Ate!" Hinatak nya ang kapatid sa katabi nya. Usually, Nicolette would be present (but mother's duties, of course) so tonight, it would be only between Nicoleen and Nicomaine. Lagi namang present ang Ate nya, eh. They're both members of #TeamReplay, and though she had to bite her tongue and stop herself from squealing, Coleen would always catch her. "Grabe 'yung ginawa ko."

"What did you say this time?" Maine always had the tendency to say the most inappropriate of things during the most inappropriate of times, and Coleen wasn't oblivious to that. Sanay na naman syang sobrang prangka ng kapatid. There were times when Maine would just keep quiet about something... but those were rare. "At sinong nabiktima mo?"

"Siya," Maine answered simply. At that, Coleen nodded.

Iisa lang naman kasi ang pronoun sa buhay ni Maine.

There was something really special about making someone your... pronoun. Iyon bang walang pangalan pero kapag nagbanggit ka ng panghalip, iisang tao lang ang tinutukoy mo. Siya. Something was magical, at least for Coleen, (or Maine, but she doesn't want to admit it) because someone automatically pops into your head kahit walang exact definition. Pronoun lang.

Siya nga at walang iba pa.

"Ano ngang sinabi mo?"

"Nagtanong ako." Kumuha ang dalaga ng isang unan at niyakap ito. "Nagtanong ako kung ano ba talaga kami."

Coleen froze on the spot. She knew Maine could be so straightforward... but not to this extent. "What?! Bakit mo sinabi 'yon? Oh my god, Meng," she fanned herself. "You don't just ask someone what you mean to him!" 

Naloloka sya sa pagka-prangka ng kapatid nya! 

I thought Maine already got over that habit?

"I know," Maine said, and played with her thumbs. Nagsisi naman sya sa naging reaksyon nya. Over ba masyado? Did she offend Maine's feelings? She was her sister, after all, and she had to do the comforting when the other's down."It's just that... everything was so blurry and... I just wanted answers."

"May mga bagay na hindi dapat tinatanong because people already knew the answer, Maine," she tried to explain. Hindi naman kasi sya ganoon ka-expert dahil hindi naman ganoon kalaki ang agwat ng edad nila. Dapat talaga nagtanong na lang si Maine kung anong magandang shade ng eye shadow ang bagay bukas sa KalyeSerye. Mas marami pa syang nai-suggest. "But there are also questions that you can't answer just because the answer plainly scares you or," she continued. "There isn't a definite answer available at the moment."

Kumunot naman ang noo ni Maine. Definite answer?

"Let's turn tables," Coleen suggested. "Kung tinanong ka nya kung ano kayo, may isasagot ka ba?"

"Meron," she answered immediately. "I'll tell him he's special to me."

"And?"

"Just that."

"Are you contented with your answer?"

Maine fell silent.

"Exactly," Coleen gave a triumphant smile. Iyon bang, see-I-told-you smile. "We can't demand people for answers to questions we can't ask ourselves."