In Between Takes

take 18

Matutulog na naman sya mamaya.

She had almost begged Pat countless of times na huwag naman mag-selfie kapag nakapikit sya. Palagi na lang kasi syang natutulog sa set kapag break, o sa sasakyan kapag papunta sa venue ng KalyeSerye. Pat would always tease her na masyado nang lumalaki ang laman ng bank account nya and she could be filthy rich for all eternity, even without working. Kasalanan daw ng lahat ng endorsements nya ang puyat nya.

Little did everyone know she only had one person to blame for all those sleepless nights.

Poor endorsements. Nadamay pa.

Two hours. Two hours before her alarm would supposedly wake her up, pero heto na naman sya, nakatitig sa kisame, nagii-scroll sa Twitter, pero lutang ang utak. Coleen was right. God, she hates the fact that her sister (most of the time) was right. 

Alam na naman talaga nya 'yon sa sarili nya. She just wanted someone else to slap her with her untouched thoughts.

Matutulog na lang sya thirty minutes before the alarm. Idlip na lang ang gagawin nya, because she's still scared to take a bath without rest. Dean told her once na nakakabaliw daw 'yon.

She thought it was crazy, but nonetheless, she believed him.

Naisip din naman nya na she had to silently thank Alden. 

Para saan?

Para sa hindi pagpapaasa.

Seriously, on a lighter note, she couldn't blame Alden for his answer. Nanumpa sila bilang Yaya Dub at Alden. Nanumpa sila bilang Divina Ursula Bokbokova Smash at Alden Richards, not Nicomaine Dei Mendoza and Richard Faulkerson Jr., and she had no one to blame but herself.

Maybe she had expected something... more than that, to come out of his lips.

Pero wala eh, hanggang ganoon lang talaga.

Pero ano nga bang gusto nyang isagot ni Alden?

Kahit sya, hindi nya masagot, kaya bakit nya sisisihin kung walang maibigay na sagot ang binata?

"Thank you," she whispered to Coleen's sleeping form.

So now she decided to end this once for all. Hindi na lang sya mag-iisip. Okay, special friend si Alden. Okay, BFF si Alden. Okay, tatay-tatayan nya si Alden. Okay, guide at adviser nya si Alden sa showbiz. But then again, she won't demand answers from him. Not anymore.

She would be contented with what happens.

She won't jump, so she won't fall.

She had to save herself from all the pain of not being his preferred cup of tea. Or his favorite shirt. Or his wrist watch for the day, or that stray hair strand he always had the habit of fixing.

We don't always get what we wanted, do we?

But then again, ano bang gusto nya? Si Alden?

Nakaramdam sya ng... kirot sa bandang dibdib.

Why does it feels so hard to say yes? And why does it hurts this bad to say no?

Ganito rin ba ang naramdaman ni Alden kanina? 

Biglang nanlaki ang mga mata ni Maine. I was so, so stupid! Ako nga, hirap na hirap sumagot, sya pa kaya?!

She was in the middle of scolding herself (and reminding herself always to bite her tongue) when a notification popped up from Twitter. It was a direct message, and it was from aldenrichards02. Ang aga naman yata gumising nito?

Wait - what if he didn't sleep, too?

Imposible. Masyado ka na yatang nagpupuyat, Maine. 

But his message was more than what she wished for.

Sorry kung nadisappoint kita, Maine. Hindi kasi ako magaling magsalita sa personal, eh.

Her reaction was immediate. She dialed for his number. Gusto rin naman nyang magsorry para sa kagagahan nya. She was too careless; she didn't think of the consequences. Ayaw nya ng awkwardness. Ayaw nya ng heartbreaks. Ayaw nya ng dull moments.

Gusto nya, kagaya na lang ulit ng dati.

"Maine?"

"Alden! Sorry kung -"

"Ako dapat ang magso-sorry, Maine."

" - kung nagtanong ako kanina kase -"

"You'll always be more than that, Maine," he said softly, and ended the call, leaving her dumbfounded.

Mukhang malabo.