In Between Takes

take 46

Maine knew that Alden wasn't really perfect as others - as she first - view him when they met. Akala nya ay hindi ito gagawa ng kahit ano mang kalokohan and honestly thought she'd be the one to make mistakes in their journey. Well, she might be a bit... wrong.

Minsan, kapag naiinis sya, gusto na lang nyang ilista lahat ng flaws nito at isampal sa gwapo nitong mukha na lalo yatang gumwapo. Minsan, gusto na lang nyang akbayan ito kapag maraming tumitingin at nakikipaglaban na hindi sila bagay. Minsan, gusto na lang nyang sumigaw sa buong mundo na  sa kanya si Alden para hindi na sila maghangad pa.

Minsan, gusto na lang nyang sagutin ang sinabi nito kagabi.

Only God knows how long she had waited for this moment. To have one of them finally admit their real feelings for the other. Kahit sino. Kahit sya, she doesn't mind. At least, may isang hindi malabo. At least, someone got their shit together, hindi 'yung dalawa silang parang tangang naghahabulan at nagkakapaan.

Honestly, her heart swelled, minutes after scolding him not to tell lies. Iniwanan nya ito sa sala at hindi na alam kung umalis ba ito o doon na natulog because she locked her door and decided to sleep the pain and confusion away, only to have her heart swelling after she had carefully thought about it.

He loves me, she repeatedly said in her head. Paulit-ulit nyang sinampal ang sarili nya and told herself she wasn't dreaming. No, not dreaming at all. Totoong sinabi sa kanya ni Alden na mahal sya nito and she pushed him away just because she was greatly pained at the moment. 

Was that an appropriate response?

She kept on asking herself that. Bakit, meron bang tinatawag na appropriate response? Was she supposed to jump on him and tell him how much she had loved him too for the past years? Ano ba talaga? Would she be forced to say it back now that he had sorted his feelings?

Sobrang overwhelming. The feeling was ironic. Fleeting and pleasurable at some point, but also... tiring.

Iyon bang sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam now that you know that your partner loves you. She meant, oo, nakakasaya, because finally, someone had loved you for who you are and what you do pero hindi ba parang responsibilidad mo na rin sya? Although it was an unspoken rule, she was expected to give a response.

And she wasn't ready to give one at the moment.

Mukha namang umalis na ito, dahil wala syang naririnig o walang umiistorbo sa kanya kahit isang oras na rin syang pagulung-gulong sa kama. She stood up, fixed herself, and dressed up for work. She needed to breathe. Hindi na rin sya nakakabisita sa shop.

Pagbaba nya... nandoon pa rin ang binata.

"Good morning," Alden greeted her, with a wide smile on his face. Aba, aba. Parang walang nangyari kagabi, ah? "Breakfast?"

Hindi nya napansin na may nakahain na palang hotdog, itlog, at sinangag sa mesa. Typical Alden kapag gumagawa ng kalokohan. Pinagluluto ka. She just shrugged, and decided it was time for a payback. "Good morning din," she said. "Sorry, hindi ako kumakain dito kapag papasok ako sa trabaho."

Alden looked alarmed. "Papasok ka? Paano kung pagkaguluhan - "

"I have my workers who tolerate the fans just fine, thank you," she answered smoothly, and proceeded to get her car. Serves him right. Maranasan naman nyang maiwan sa ere, 'di ba?

Actually, she wasn't doing this to make him suffer. She was doing this to buy herself time. Hindi sya makakapag-isip while Alden still had his bed hair (he seemed to have slept on the couch) and her pink apron on. Ayaw nya ng ganu'n.

She left him alone at her house. Bahala na sya. Marunong naman siguro 'yon, and he always reminds her to lock her doors. He'll manage.

Pagdating nya sa coffee shop, Arthur greeted her brightly. "Good morning, Ma'am! Bakit 'di po kayo nagpasabi?"