In Between Takes

take 22

Maine had watched Alden's interview in the early months of 2015. Ayaw nya mang aminin, she had grown fond of watching his interviews rather than his shows. Ganoon naman lagi, kapag may natitipuhan syang artista. Mas maigi pang manood ng interview kasi parang mas totoo.

Though in Alden's interviews... he looked composed. Polite, as he had always been. Palaging may po. Palaging maingat ang mga salita. Palaging nagpapasalamat sa network. Palaging... monotonous.

He doesn't look anything close to the man he is today. Mas nagjojoke na sya sa interviews, although hindi nawala ang po, he was more... loose.

Did I do this to him?

She shook her head. Confident mo naman yata masyado, Meng. Malay mo talagang nagbabago ang tao. Last year pa kaya 'yan.

At noong sumagot si Alden na lovelife dapat ang humanap sa kanya, she couldn't help but to ask.

Ako ba ang humanap sa kanya?

She shook her head, furiously this time. Kung anu-ano na naman ang naiisip nya. Besides, hindi naman sila exclusive, 'di ba?

Maine frowned. Parang hindi yata nila na-clear out iyong part na 'yon, lalo na noong nagpaalam si Alden kay Tatay Dub na kung pwede ay sya na ang maghatid kay Maine sa kasal ni Pauleen at ni Vic.

Nawindang sya doon. Maine knew that her mom's in favor of Alden as her partner because he's religious, but her dad is a different story. Although nagpaunlak na ito sa mga interviews noon, when they were talking, she didn't see her father and Alden.

She saw her father and RJ, like he's asking as the special friend that he was, not her on-screen partner.

"Shokoy," she told him once. "May tatanong ako."

"Wala akong hasang," Alden answered, smiling. Sinimangutan naman nya ito. "Joke lang. Ano 'yun?"

"You know, right?"

"What?"

"That we're not... exclusive," she breathed. Parang ang hirap ilabas noong huling salita. Parang kung pwede lang, mag-date na lang sila ni Alden araw-araw because she's never tired of him or the things he says, kahit gaano pa ka-korni. Parang kung pwede lang, hindi na lang sila sikat.

If given the chance to meet again under other circumstances, she'd grab it. This time, like normal people. "That we're not closing doors for someone else."

Tahimik lang si Alden, so she grabbed the chance. "Okay lang talaga," she was surprised how soft her voice is. "Okay lang na magkagusto sa iba."

She was actually glad she didn't feel the pain she expected to have when she said that. Para ngang nabunutan sya ng tinik sa dibdib, or in her case, nabawasan ng isang movie line na kailangang i-dubsmash.

Because although Maine Mendoza wanted a movie-like type of love story, she found show business the most unlikely place to find true love. Maybe ordinary people don't know it, kasi ano nga ba sila? Audience. Audience lang.

Now that she's the one entertaining people, Maine had never appreciated being an audience. Ngayon lang talaga nya na-appreciate at nalaman na sobra-sobrang dali palang maging audience at magbigay lang ng komento kapag may nakitang mali.

Because in real life, no amount of fame or money can equal to happiness and contentment.

Maybe people view them like they do things smoothly. Okay, magme-make-up sya, magpapatawa ng tao, okay lang, kasi ganoon naman ang personality nya.

But what if she grew tired of it one day? Or not just a day? Two? Three?

What if she grew tired of the industry forever? Matatanggap ba ng mga tao ang biglaang pagkawala ni Maine Mendoza? Pwede ba syang magpasa na lang ng resignation letter and deal with the fans' disappointment decades later?

Iyon ang problema sa pagiging inspirasyon ng maraming-maraming tao: isang napakalaking balde ng social responsibility.

Like you owe them your whole life because they have dedicated theirs to you.

She could spend the rest of her life overseas. Maybe break the rules her parents had for them. Iyong ayaw silang magkakahiwalay na pamilya. Maybe they would change their minds today, because she needed her privacy she couldn't grasp at present.

Maybe she could leave all this someday.

"Oo nga. Okay lang," Alden snapped her out of her thoughts. "Okay lang na magkagusto ka sa iba because you're not closing your doors."

He paused. "But I am."

There was a sudden surge of emotions. "Alden," was all she could say.

"Hindi naman kita pine-pressure," he told her. "Okay lang na i-reject mo ako pagkatapos ng lahat ng 'to."

Okay? Alin ang okay sa pagre-reject sa isang Alden Richards?! She had always joked about it, pero kung titingnan talaga, who would be in the right state of mind to reject a person like him?!

"In love ka na ba sa akin?!" She blurted out, being the frank person that she was. Nagpa-panic sya because if he is, she wouldn't know what to do.

"Huwag kang mag-panic," he assured her. "Hindi pa."

Nakahinga naman sya doon. Hindi pa. Hindi pa malala. Pwede pang mawala.

Teka, bakit parang ayaw ko?

"But you're really, really special to me right now," he continued. "Sobrang gasgas na nu'ng word na special sa atin pero iyon kasi ang nararamdaman ko, eh."

She listened.

"Hindi ko kasi kaya 'yung ganu'n," he confessed. "'Yung... you're special to me but I'd be dating someone else. Ayoko ng ganu'n, nakakalito. Baka maguluhan lang ako lalo. Kung sa lagay nating dalawa, I wanted to know first if I'm in love with you or not. I need a definite answer from myself."

"Ako rin, eh," realization went into place. "Ang hirap pala sumagot ng yes or no, ano?"

"Do you understand me now?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I don't want to rush myself."

"Me too," Alden smiled. Ginulo-gulo nito ang buhok nya. "Pero okay lang talagang mag-date ka ng iba, basta sasabihin mo sa akin."

Magsasalita pa sana sya when he added something. "Tsaka kapag... nagkagusto ka na sa iba," he said sadly. "Sabihin mo rin sa akin, ha?"

She answered yes, though she knew it wasn't going to happen any sooner.