Hidden Essence Book I - The Bloody Moon

Chapter XII

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I haven't run away, yet. I'm still hesitating on wheter I should or not. I promised him I would stay here and not kill myself, but what forces me to keep that promise? The hesitation has increased a lot since he left. He could've been lying to me all this time. I'm sure he is. I don't want to go though. Like he said, if I run away they might find me and lock me up again. I won't have that, I can't spend the rest of my miserable life in a small cage. I'd rather die. But I can't stay in this cave forever either. He has been away for a long time now which is quite odd. He said that he would be back quickly because of his wolf powers. What if something happened to him? The worry in me builts up, but I don't anticipate anything yet. The worry is for myself by the way, not for him obviously. I don't care if he's hurt or not, I just care about the fact that I'm going to be stuck here for a long time if he doesn't come back because I literally have no clue how to get out of here. This cave is just a hollow in a rock, it doesn't branch out to the surface. How did we even get in here? You know what, here's the plan. I'll wait for another fifteen minutes, if I can keep track of them at least because I have no watch, and if by then he hasn't returned, I'll start figuring my way out.

Tick, tack, tick, tack, tick, tack, tick, tack... I've been ticking and tacking for what feels like hours. This is enough, he has yet to come back. Where the hell is he? Did he leave me here on purpose, to let me die slowly and painfully? He wouldn't, he held me and he made it clear that he was not my enemy. I stand up from the ground and start making my way towards the pool he dived in earlier on. How is this an exit to the cave? I inspect the pool for a few seconds before I jump in it myself. The refreshing sensation overwhelms me and I sigh at how good it feels. A déjà vu. The water is so clear that I am able to see the bottom. There's only a stone wall in front of me, how did he get out? He must have some magic, some werewolf magic to go through walls or whatever. I'm stuck in here. I sigh deeply and almost decide to give up, but I then notice a light beam escaping at the bottom. That looks interesting, what is it though? I take a deep breath and plunge my entire self down in the water and swim towards the light. The water is so clean and basically see-through so my eyes can open themselves pretty easily. It's a very long and deep way to the bottom, but I try and hold my breath as long as I can. Then I see what the light is, it's a hole, in the stone wall. An escape! The excitement pumps quite a large amount of breath out of me, but I need to hold on and get through. I kick my feet as efficiently as I can and get through the gape. When I'm through I am blinded by the light, but even that doesn't hold me back. I kick and I kick and feel the pressure of the water and the lack of air on my chest. Come on, Sage hold on, you're almost there. I start choking on water, but I don't stop until I reach the eagerly awaited surface. I roughly cough the water out of my throat until the coughing starts to hurt. I did it. I'm out. I blink several times before my eyes are able to see properly again. 

I'm in that lake again. The beautiful lake. Memories flash in front of my eyes and I feel the euphoria I had felt before. I push it away though. I can't be feeling any of that anymore. I've learned the consequences time by time now, I got the memo. I swim to the edge and when I reach it I push myself out of the water. Okay, so where do we go from here? I look up and see the forest develop itself in front of me. I don't even know how to get home and even if I did I would have to run through the streets in my underwear. I'm not really looking forward to that. I sigh at the lack of solutions. I don't know if I want to go home, where do I even want to go? I want to go away from all this misery, from this forest, from everyone. The tears start to stack up again, but I hold them back. Sage , you're strong, you can do this. I try to boost myself a little bit up. Let's just go and hope for the best. Hope.

He gave me a little bit of it. He really did. Don't ask me how though. Being with him for that little amount of time, it made me hopeful. He was comforting, gentle, basically the exact opposite of everything in my life. I have no idea who he is, nor why he is protecting me, if he even is which I'm also not sure of. Why do Becka and rest even want me caged? What do I have that they want? Did I just piss them off at work and they are taking their revenge now? Or are they just crazy killer wolves, who like to make their preys suffer before they die? I remember a time when everything in life was perfect. A lovely mother, a caring father, a happy daughter and trustful friends. That time has changed now. The mother is gone, the father is lost in sadness, the daughter doesn't see the purpose of life anymore and the friends are unexistant. It switched so quickly, I wish I could've seen it coming. I maybe could've prepared myself for it, prepared myself for the misery and the solitude. Sometimes I even wonder who it is that grants people's wishes. Some say God, others say love and sometimes others say, it's hopeless. I'm part of the last group, nobody grants my wishes, no matter how many times I wish for stuff. No one is listening, no one wants to listen. He listened. I mean, I think he did, because I told him. I told him how and what I felt. How and what life has made me feel. He listened. He didn't say anything about it, he just listened. Then he held my crying self and he listened. Who is he? He didn't want to answer, I've asked him multiple times. He just doesn't tell me. I saw something in his gold yellow eyes though. It told me, it's better not to know who he is. But what if he is the one out of all that I want, no, that I need, to get to know? What if he is that one? I have no particular feelings for the guy, I've closed off that sector since Wolfey. I should've closed it off before, I know. But I know that it'll be impossible for me to ever feel something for anyone again. He is no exception. I have no feelings for him. I'm only curious, because it feels like he and the other wolves need something from me. Why would he try to keep me with him? I'm just an average human. They need something. I want to discover what, so I can never give it to them and die with it.