Hidden Essence Book I - The Bloody Moon

Chapter XVIII

>- Adelaide as Summer H. Howell -<

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Today I have a day off, which means that I will not be training, but resting, mostly. I have sparred with the whole group except for George. He is the Alpha, he is too strong, so there is no point in testing my strength with him. I have sparred with Zach though. That was very interesting. He was a lot stronger than Becka, Michael and Jonas combined. Not only was he stronger, but he was also less distracted than them. That makes sense as he is going to be the next Alpha of this pack. Sparring with him was basically a way to familiarize with the different ways of failing at combat. Everytime we fought, I discovered a new way. It was really annoying and time-consuming, but then again, it will probably help in the near future.

There's only a small week left before the Bloody Moon. Am I nervous? No, not really. More excited to accomplish my mission. Call me bloodthirsty if you want to, I might just be. That's probably the only thing that makes me fit in this pack. He will feel my wrath though. That beast has put me through hell and I fell for it like an oblivious little deer. Not anymore, now he will be the one falling. I will make him crawl to his death, that's the only way I'll ever be able to breathe normally again. I won't live if I know that he is still on this planet. I won't open my eyes again, if I risk meeting his yellow ones. I will eliminate him once and for all. I promise.

I walk into the backyard and sigh in relief when I notice that it is completely empty. Finally, some silence. The house is always crowded with people, no one ever shuts up and it's starting to annoy me so much. What is there to say? "Oh gosh, we're going to kill them." "Hell yeah, blood!" "Kill them all and swim in their blood, woohoo!" Werewolves. I sit down on the green grass with my back to the house whilst facing the oh so familiar forest. The trees surround this entire house, the beauty is soothing, but I can't be bothered by it. It will be taken away from me if I do. I only came for the silence. I close my eyes and place my hands on my knees as I sit cross-legged. Michael was the one to teach me that wolves and humans have different ways of calming down. Humans tend to sit still in complete silence to calm their thoughts and their heartbeat. Wolves rather run, through a forest or an open grass field to let the breeze calm their body and let nature ease their thoughts. He also told me that as a medium he had to study the werewolf kind a lot, to master his powers the best he possibly could. He had to read all the books, study them by heart, observate wolves and humans to learn the similarities and differences between both kinds. He said that even now, after his studies he needs to continue to enlarge his knowledge. Being a medium sounds awful, but then again he owns one of the most helpful powers a werewolf pack can have. I realize that talking to Michael has been very educative. Not only has he told me about him and his powers, but he also explained the general facts about werewolves that I was not aware of. 

If you compare werewolves to animals and humans for example, you'll see that werewolves tower above both kinds. They have the strength, the agility, their instict and their bond with nature, but they also have the critical mind of a human. They can make decisions unlike animals. Animals go off of what needs to happen, what nature thinks is best. Humans choose and twist up their destiny. A sick combo if you ask me. A new term was also introduced to me. I had never heard of a 'mate' before. Well, I knew the word, but to me it was always just a way of greeting your friends, like bro or lad. Little did I know, right? According to Michael a mate is a werewolve's soulmate, the one person on earth that was destined to be his. Strange, I know, but apparantly it's true. When a werewolf turns sixteen his wolf starts to search for a mate, someone who was chosen by nature itself to be his other half. When he explained me this, I was laughing inside of me, not a happy laugh, a mocking one. A soulmate? Oh please, cut the crap. So I should believe that a wolf is going to find 'his' wolf, mate or whatever, and then suddenly all the sparks will fly? Give me a break. If they want to believe it's love, I'll let them live their sad lie, but it's obviously not. Nature probably designates mates based off of how their children are going to be, to avoid miscarriage or handicaps, to basically create perfect children, perfect little wolves. "You won't understand until it happens to you." Michael had said. I laughed it off. He was so oblivious to this world, too kind and hopeful for his own good. The thing he couldn't and still can't understand is that it will never happen, not to me. First of all, the chance of a werewolf having a human mate is so small, even an ant could stomp on it. Second of all, I do not 'love' people, I did it once and I hurt them and myself so badly I regret ever being born. And lastly, my name is Sage Allwood, no one ever grants Sage Allwood with love only. Oh no, I always get the bonus pack. You know, the one with pain and suffering attached to it. So I don't believe this mating thing is in any way what they think it is. It's just another mechanisme of nature, nothing else.