Reckless heart

Chapter 14

"But, DL! I want us to talk! Please?"

Sinimangutan ko si Austin habang bubuntot-buntot sa akin nang papunta akong Library. I can't see any other reason for us to talk. And besides, we're done. This is useless. Why can't he seem to understand the situation?

"For closure?"

Napabuga ako ng hangin.

"hindi ba sapat na closure ang ginawa kong set up sa inyo ni Fiona? And if you want to point out my mistake... well then.. I admit it. Kasalanan ko naman lahat. I was the one at fault. Ako na ang masama... at pinagsisisihan ko talaga hanggang ngayon..."

Umiling siya at nagpapalatak nang muli akong lumakad. Humabol naman siya at pumantay sa akin.

"Ang bilis mong mag-isip. That's not what I was thinking when I last saw you..." may halong pag-aalala sa boses niya.

I stopped from there. I faced him and intently stared at his eyes. He seemed calm and sincere. Too far from what I was expecting. Akala ko ay isa ito sa mga gagawin niyang paraan upang makapaghiganti sa akin.

"What? Hindi pa ba malinaw ang lahat? Look..." I crossed my arms and settled my eyes on him. His attention was all on me.

"If you're up to something.. ngayon palang sinasabi ko na sayo... wala na. We can't be together like nothing happened in the past. May sari-sarili na tayong mga buhay na dapat pagtuonan ng pansin"

"Past? What the hell. It's like four weeks lang mula nung nagkalabuan tayo.. past na sa'yo iyon? Wow?" Napapailing pa siya at bakas ang hindi pagkapaniwala sa kanyang mukha.

Like the hell I care about his reaction?

Tumalikod nalang ulit ako at muling naglakad patungong library. I still have three remaining researches to finish. Hindi pa naman ako nagcra-cram sa deadline. Actually, next week pa talaga ang passing. Pero dahil sinisimulan ko ang pagbabago ay mas maigi nang tapusin ko na ang mga ito. Then I'll have my free schedule for study.

"Kinukulit ka nanaman ni Austin 'no?"

Umirap ako sa katabi kong kaklase habang nasa isang sulok kami ng library. I am here to do my assignments and review my past lessons not to engage with some ridiculous conversation.

"Hindi naman" 

"nasa kabilang table.." ininguso pa niya ang isang mesa malapit sa amin. Sinundan ko naman ang pinapatungkulan niya ngunit agad din akong nagbawi ng tingin.

"Don't mind him. Let's just study. May group work pa tayo mamaya.."

Ibinalik ko ang aking mga mata sa binabasa. I don't care if Austin wants to look stupid now. I don't mind him around, though he's catching attention already.

"Hey..."

Hindi na siya nakatiis at umupo na rin sa tapat ko. Nagtapon ako ng isang sulyap pagkatapos ay ibinalik rin ang aking mga mata sa aklat na binabasa.

"Itigil mo na Austin. I am doing my assignments. Iniistorbo mo ako" mababa kong tinig.

"Can we just talk for a while? Sige na naman oh? I think we badly need to talk..." ngumuso siya at pinaglapat ang mga palad.

Isinara ko ang aklat sa aking kamay at ibinaling ang buong atensyon sakanya. I stared at him with my cold expression. If he can only rip my mind open, he wouldn't see any traces of him in it. I'm still feeling guilty about the incident that had happened to his condo few weeks ago, pero hindi na ako masyadong nagpapagapi sa awa at takot ko sakanya. I already knew he'd be this persistent. Kahit na sobrang naapakan ko pa ang pride at ego niya.