Bent, Not Broken: My Scoliosis Story (among other things)

A Minor Breakdown...

    I don't know what to do right now. I'm on swim team in summers, and I was trying a suit on today in front of my mom. It wasn't fun. At all. Between twisted thighbones (femurs) and scoliosis, my posture is quite wonky. My toes turn in and I walk funny, not with a limp or anything, but definitely not typically either. I have two curves, with my bottom one being more severe than the one on the top, but either way, the left side of my waist is almost completely straight if you're looking at my silhouette, and on the right I just have a huge dent. Not a curve, like you see in magazines, not a waistline. A dent. My shoulders fall unevenly, and my hips are unbalanced. My rib pokes out a lot, too. I'm sure it's not as bad as it could be, but I'm watching it change and get worse before my eyes, and I just want to be done.
    I get it. I have a screwy back. Is all this really necessary? When I was last X-Rayed (is that a word??), I was pretty close to bracing, but I opted out. Now I can see it get worse, and the back ache isn't exactly improving either. I had mild back pains even before diagnosis, so I just brushed it off as growing pains, but it's been going on for what feels like forever now. The worst thing is that if you say your back hurts, you get everyone in the room nodding their head and being all "yeah, whatever, can't be that bad." And they're right, it wouldn't be that bad if it weren't every single minute of my day.
    Either way, back to the swimsuit thing. I had noticed it getting a little worse from the outside, but I guess I had just gotten used to it (like you don't notice yourself getting taller) but when my mom saw me she was stunned. We took a picture of me standing straight in this suit and compared it to one from swim this summer... and guys? It's awful, I hadn't thought it were going that fast. Now my dad is pressuring me to go into bracing right this very moment and my mom, although kinder about it, is also trying to get me to choose as fast as I possibly can.
    The original plan was that I'd go back in June and get X-Rays and probably have to get a brace, at least then I wouldn't have to go through the rest of the school year with my brace. But now I'm afraid that if I don't go into bracing soon, it'll get a lot worse, and there's no way to fix that without surgery, at least not permanently. I'm already thinking of quitting swim in the summer, and I'm currently living in very oversized sweatshirts. I don't know what to do, guys. I'm scared. People already make comments (Thanks for starting the whole "you walk like you have a d!ck" thing, peers. I really appreciate that.) about the way I stand and walk, and I'm afraid that a brace will make the comments worse. But without one, it sure isn't gonna get better. I'm just scared and confused, and I'm afraid I'll make a decision I'll regret.
    Have you guys had a brace? Was it really all as bad as I think it is? I just can't bring myself to make this decision. I'm screwed if I do, screwed if I don't. What a joy. What should I do?

-E