Bent, Not Broken: My Scoliosis Story (among other things)

Bright Eyes (A Jumble of Thoughts About You)

What am I thinking, letting you into my life? Haven't I been broken enough already? But there's something that makes me think, or at least hope, that you're different. But then again, you always have been. I want you to know right this second I don't want to care like I do- it just happened. There's something about your smile that just melts me. There's something bright in your eyes that makes me hope you feel the same. You're kind, and sweet, and funny. You're always there on a bad day, and you laugh with me on the good ones.
I promise I'm smarter than I sound when I'm talking to you... I just can't make my words make sense. When you look at me and smile, are we more than just friends? I don't know. You are the most thoughtful person I know- hidden notes and late-night conversations. We both know how much we care- and we're both too afraid to shatter it to step forward. But that's ok. I am content for a moment, talking with you and laughing. Happy. You say you care about me. And I'm sorry, if when you told me how much you cared... I seemed distant. I have been lately, I can tell you've noticed.
My only question is: if you knew how I fear my own back- would you still think I'm brave? If you knew how bent I am, would you still find me beautiful? If you saw how deformed I see myself when I look in the mirror, under the big sweatshirts- would you really care? If you knew how bitter I can be when faced with trouble- would you still think I'm sweet? You have no idea, but I'm so close to needed a shell to do what my spine refuses to do for itself. I'm so close to caving in. And you have no idea how much I want to tell you, because I'm hopeful you'd comfort me, pull me close and tell me it's all right, that I'm still me, just bent. But someone told me nobody could care about someone as misshapen as I...

And I believed him.