Her Princess Charming

Downfalls

LYSS

I spent a whole week avoiding everyone including my best friend. I havent been eating properly and I almost never got any sleep because I cried and cried til I cant breathe anymore.

Monday when I hurried to my next class when I saw Carina walking towards me. Her eyes blazing with annoyance and anger. I didnt know if I could face her or anyone today or any day for that matter.

'Woah there bitch. Where you been  for the past week? Werent we supposed to go home together? Or share lunch and stories and shit. What happened to you? Youre being a dick for the past days. Were you with Paulene?!' She almost yelled at me and I just stood there biting my lower lip to stop myself from snapping back more venomous words.

Bypassers were staring at us as if they were waiting for a cat fight or whatever it was that involved slapping and hair-pulling.

I turned to walk away when she pulled my arms and I slammed hard on the wall. 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?' She yelled. I just kept my shit together because I had no energy to fight back or defend myself. Either that or I dont really care anymore.

'You know what, Im so tired of you Lyss. I dont know whats going on.' She stopped yelling this time. Hurt evident in her words. She sounded distant and disappointed, I could feel tears swelling up and she, too, was already in tears.

'You dont know whats wrong with me? I lost him because Ive become a bitch. Thats what you said right?  Thats the reason. So stop acting like you care because in reality you dont.' I said in a straight voice even though I could feel tears streaming down my chin.

Her eyes were still distant. As if waiting for further explanation.

I turned and walked away. I skipped all my classes for the rest of the day to go home and let it out.

That evening I woke up feeling no better than the time I went home.

'Hey Lyss, youve been off for the past weeks. You went home early awhile ago. What's the problem?' My mom asked me as I opened the fridge to look for something to eat. Im really starving because I skipped all my meals for the day.

'Nothing mom.' I smiled weakly at her closing the fridge and sitting beside her.

'That isnt nothing. Ive never seen you so wrecked before. Are you and Allen all good? When is he coming for dinner again? Havent seen him since last month.' She said as she put her home made cookies on the table.

'Mom. It's over.' I said, choking back soft sobs that threatened to make me croak out my words.

'Oh dear, what happened?' She cooed like I was still a kid crying over a scabbed elbow.

'I just,' I didnt know what to say, 'I dont know.' I cried even harder as she pulled me into a violent hug. I couldnt breathe even more.

'Oh that's okay. Ive been through that too.' She hushed. Im trying to catch my breath.

'Mom-- I cant-- I cant breathe. Youre killing me.' It made us both laugh and she loosened her hug.

'Oh Im sorry. Just remember that its going to be fine. Ok? Im always here to kill you with a hug. Anyway, try these cookies I made. Your brother enjoyed them. Tell me how heavenly they are.' She snorted. I felt a lot better this time.

All these years Allen and Carina were the only people around me. My only confidants besides my mom. I used to do everything with them, now, Im all alone everywhere I go. Even at home I locked myself up most of the time.

I spent almost all days avoiding conversations with other people and dodging glances whenever I strode along the corridors.

Carina was no longer talking to me. Whenever I crossed paths with her we both awkwardly turn the other way.

Allen was also ignoring me and it suck. It hurts knowing that it's my mistake and Im the reason why this is happening.

I remember what Ive read before on Facebook, 'Its hard to miss someone who's far away from you but it's even harder to miss someone you see everyday but cannot even do anything about it.'

I aimed to be invisible even though I know Im the talk of the whole school. It was frustrating and most days I just wanted to die 'accidentally' so I started cutting.

Sometimes Id lock myself up in my room and stare at a blade for a few minutes and just lose myself. Causing blood and tears to drip down the floor. It was also hard trying to clean up after it because my mom would ask how I had blood on my clothes and I would say I accidentally slipped or whatever.

Whenever she also saw my cuts I would say that 'bacon' did it because he plays rough. Bacon is my cat. A large fluffy persian cat.

-

Wednesday when I finally decided to come to school.

'Lyss! Wait up girl, you going to training today? Why did you skip yesterday? And for the past weeks. God girl, whats up?' Louie ran after me with his usual grace.

'Oh. I dont know girl. I was absent yesterday.' I answered. He was ofcourse pertaining to debate.

'Were having a lot of rounds every training. Its bad youre missing the fun! Dion is sooooo hot yesterday when he was fighting for piglets. Gooood that had me sweating all over.' He chirped and laughed and screamed and oh god. Sometimes I hate him for this.

I laughed. 'Hey chill. Save a seat for me then. I'll go but promise me you'll shut up about how hot he is. Try figuring out how to come out to your mom first.' I teased. He nodded and hugged me.

If youre confused about it, Louie is gay. But he still hasnt come out to his mother for the fear of causing her heart attack. But pretty much everyone notices. I bet his mom too but is just quite understanding enough to wait until he's ready to open up.

'Wait heyyy, how have you been? I see youve been neglecting your responsibilities to yourself. Look how dark your eyebags are. Are you even combing your hair?' His questions surprised me because even though we werent that close, even though I only talked to him during trainings and tournaments, we havent been best buddies or whatsoever, I felt his concern.

It was genuine. I almost couldnt believe my ears.

'Ohh. Damn, I look that worse?' I laughed he looked at me with worry and disbelief.

'Youre not like that Lyss. I know you. Youre that noisy, happy and positive girl I sat with for the first training. The one who accidentally tripped while nervously blabbering about why children should be banned from lady gaga music. Even if you dont share much, I know you. Im just not sure if what I heard was a real thing. But if I were you, get over it. Start over. Youre too young and beautiful to let those stupid things break you.' He told me.

I stood there taking in what I just heard. I was so thankful that someone in school actually cared and out of all people I didnt quite expect it would be him.

'Thank you Louie. I appreciate it. You know, thats the most touching thing Ive heard in a course of weeks. It has been so hard for me having no one to motivate me. Thank you.' I said. He laughed it off and hugged me again.

So this was how it felt to have someone who cares even if that person isnt always there.

'Just come to debate okay? Dont worry I'll help you get on track. Plus, we have a new debate member. Its a she.' He whispered the last part.

I got so curious about who that was and why it was so controversial. Maybe for him.

She.