Her Princess Charming

Just Wandering

'When are you planning to go back to your house?' Juliana asked while I sat beside her on the hospital bed. Weve both been absent for the past day. Her parents were both at work so I volunteered to take care of her. At first, they didnt let me because they were worried about my school responsibilities and about my family looking for me but I convinced them well that I would do it anyway.

'I dont know.' I said as I munched on my chips. She eyed me with worry.

'Do you have a plan?'

'Nope.'

'What then?'

'I have no idea.'

'Come on babe. Im worried about you.' She held my hand.

'Shouldnt I be the one worrying? Youre the one who's in the hospital.'

'Be serious.'

'I am.'

Maybe because of all the stress and all the things Im thinking about, I couldnt make up my mind about anything anymore. Last night, while I slept on the sofa in the hospital room, I felt ashamed. Her mother was kind enough to accept me here and her father too. I really didnt have a place to stay..

Unless I go to the old house and live there by myself.

Genius. I told myself.

'You have to go back to school. You cant go absent just to take care of me.' She said.

I was a little bit insulted. For me, she was my responsibility and I would do anything for her but she seemed to be pushing me away. I knew it was for my own good too but since Im already here, I wouldnt trade it for anything anymore. She's my priority not a choice.

'Are you even listening to me?' She said in a calm voice but I could sense a little bit of tension in it.

'Yes.'

'What is your plan then?' She asked impatiently.

'Maybe.. When your parents arrive tonight, I'd go already. So you dont have to push me away.'

'What? Im not pushing you away.' Her brows furrowed and she bit her lip in annoyance.

'Oh yes you are.' I stood up and threw the bag of chips on the small trash bin beside the bed even though it was still half full.

'Im not. You know Im not.' She said in a serious tone.

I just kept my mouth shut and proceeded to get a clean shirt from one of my bags. Once I got one, I went inside the private bathroom and cried my eyes out. She was calling out my name but I didnt go back. All the pain I've been keeping inside me for the past two days just kicked in.

After a few minutes of crying, I decided I was done. I unfolded the shirt and something fell on the floor.

A blade.

I stared at it for a moment and bent over to get it. Hello there old buddy.

When I was already satisfied with all the blood and cuts, I washed my hands up to my arms. It stung but it wasnt anything compared to the emotional pain I was feeling. I wrapped the dirty shirt around my arms to cover my cuts. It was still bleeding until I got to my bags.

'What did you do?' She asked. Annoyance was still evident in her voice. I remembered how much terrified she was with blood so I didnt tell her. I had no plans on telling her anyway.

'Changed my shirt.' I muttered under my breath.

'Is that all?' She asked. I nodded. I still didnt face her.

'Why are your eyes so red?' Her question was ridiculous. I couldnt have been doing drugs in the bathroom of a hospital. And I would never do that anywhere, ever. Yes I cut but not drugs, nor alcohol.

'Nothing.'

'Hey girls!' The door swung open. Her mother was back earlier than expected. 'Im taking a week off.' She went to kiss Juliana on the forehead and placed a basket of fruits on the side table.

'Hi mom. That's good to hear.' She forced a smile.

I gathered my bags and tied my hair up. 'Im going ahead ma'am. Thank you for everything..' I said shyly, careful not to have an eye contact with Juliana.

'Oh my.. Where are you going now?' She asked worriedly.

'Maybe go to some relatives ma'am.' I smiled timidly.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes ma'am dont worry.'

'Okay then.. Be careful okay?' She went closer to hand me some bills.

'No it's okay ma'am.' I refused, besides I still had money with me and it was too much already.

'No, just take it. Okay?' She insisted so I took it anyway.

Juliana was silent.

'Thank you ma'am.' I tried to stop my tears from falling. I wished she was my mom.

I walked closer to Juliana and kissed her cheek. We didnt say anything. She wasnt even looking at me so I left.

-

'I guess it's just you and me again.' I felt so dumb talking to myself as I sat on the old tire swing. It was three in the afternoon. I remembered that there wasnt any electricity in the house so Im totally screwed.

I took a walk outside the house. I savored every detail of the place. From the even roads to the hedges and to the environment friendly neighborhood. God knows how much I wanted to live here again.

I sat by the side of the road by sunset. I admired the rose bushes by our old gate. It was alive even though no one was there to maintain it's beauty. I thought to myself, would I be able to grow too without anyone to help me?

I was used to watching the sunset with Juliana but now, she wasnt there beside me. She wasnt there to intertwine her fingers with mine. She wasnt there to share that story about how she lost mr. bobbyboo, her teddybear, when she went to a zoo.

I was lost in my thoughts when suddenly I saw a pair of shoes walking slowly towards me. I recognized it and I knew very well to whom it belonged to but it was too late to run.

'Lyss.' He sat beside me with a doubtful smile.

Damn.