Out of My Mind (Book 2)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jace and California had stood still in the confines of the large living room of Elliana's, staring at what remained of her first Grammy.

If California hadn't known her cousin all that well, she would have buried that Grammy in the backyard and sent a quick prayer to the Lord for the gold plating shaping a Gramophone. Yet, California knew deep within her mind that she'd have to tell her older cousin because if there was one thing Elliana hated more than Chloe, it was being lied to.

Elliana had been lied to one too many times in her lifetime and California knew this, promising to Elliana that she wouldn't lie to her. Even now, California stayed determined to keep her promise. California had seen Elliana's emotional states in the one year she had stayed in Minnesota. There were nights when she cried herself to sleep, only leaving her room to eat, use the bathroom, and go to school. California had seen Elliana descend and let herself to fall to such a depressing state that if Elliana relived that state now, who knows if she'd be able to get out of it again.

California remembered the nights when she couldn't sleep because Elliana got in and out of bed for tissue within the night and cried for hours on end. She remembered opening the door to Elliana's room sometimes and she woukd sit along the side of her bed sometimes, and Elliana would speak to her and cry out her problems. At first, California viewed this as any critical girl would — as a phase that any girl goes through when she cries about a boy who didn't matter.

Although over time, California knew that to Elliana, Colton had been a normal boy with an extraordinary life. Yet, as California listened to Elliana cry and sob, she knew that he wasn't normal. For crying out loud, California knew she would have driven herself insane by now if she was Elliana and she would have tried running away from her problems or worse. California knew that the only reason he seemed like any kind of normal to Elliana is because their normal is two sides of the same coin.

"Sometimes, I think he didn't want to leave but then I know that the idea sounds crazy that he would stay in California for me. It's idiotic, Cali." She said one night. "Nowadays, no sane person stays because they love someone. It's crazy. I'm crazy. My life is a shitload of fucked up."

"He left you for a University in Florida when he could have gotten the same education and athleticism in Los Angeles." California leans her head on the other half of Elliana's bed. . "He lost a lot of great things but the worst decision he made was giving up on you."

"I can live without him." She tells her. "He even said so."

California knows that despite Elliana admitting that, she wasn't going to stop crying and having an internal battle within herself. Elliana hadn't gotten answers and questions plagued her mind before Colton had even entered her nearly empty social atmosphere. Elliana had a plague of questions brought on by herself and she couldn't let go. Elliana hated letting go because every single time she let go of someone or something, they left her. Emotional abuse had been a lifelong tormenter of Elliana's and the only thing she was more afraid of than letting someone hurt her, was being alone leaving her to hurt herself with a mentality she could barely handle.

••

"I have never seen Elliana go batshit crazy but she might after this." Jace says as he stares at Elliana's award case.

"I broke her first grammy." California whispers repeatedly. "I broke her first grammy."

"They made special metal for that award and you broke it." He said. "That's gold plating you cracked."