friends ↬ larry stylinson.

fifteen

*WARNING sensitive subject*

I sat on the hood of my car with my back against the windshield. Harry sat on the other side of me with a cigarette lazily hanging out of his mouth. I watched his motions as he smoked then handed the cigarette to me. I took it and placed it between my lips. It was now his time to look at me.

"Do you like me?" I almost snorted at his question. "Of course, Haz." He wasn't smiling. He looked almost afraid. "No, I mean like do you actually like me..?" Harry's eyes went to his lap.

I threw my cig down and leaned over to press my lips into his cheek. He ducked away from my lip. Ouch. "Yes, Harry, I actually like you." I jumped off the hood to stand on the gravel. We were in the back of an old orchard that was abandoned years ago. I remembered the day that Harry told me he found a place for us to look at the stars.

Harry was silent for a while. I looked up toward the sky. I loved stars. I looked for constellations before turning to look at Harry. He was looking at me in a way that I couldn't place. "What?" His features changed as he realized I caught him staring. "Why do you like me?" His face showed confusion but also fear.

I pondered the thought. What didn't I like about him? "I like your hair. I like your eyes. I like your chockers. I like your ripped jeans. I like the way you talk slow and low. I like the how you eat veggie burgers. I like you and all that you are. I like who I am around you." Harry was in awe. I watched him get off the hood of my car and walk toward me. "I'm sorry that I can't be who you want me to be." He whispered in my ear once he got closer to me. I was confused. What does that even mean?

"What?" I said as he turned to walk back towards our parked cars. I watched him get into his car and drive down the dirt road.

I pulled out my phone.

To: Lima Bean ;)
old orchard 10 minutes

From: Lima Bean ;)
I'll be there in 5

I saw the head lights of Liam's truck coming down the road. The tall boy jumped from his tall truck to walk over to me. "What's up Lou?" Liam smiled at me but quickly turned serious when he saw my glassy eyes. "What did he do now?"

Liam and I sat in his truck for a while before I finally told him. "Harry doesn't say he's gay. He denies it completely. He also doesn't want to say we are together. We do everything that couples do and so therefore Harry is gay, right? We kiss and talk and cuddle, but he won't say I'm his boyfriend. What's the deal?" It was a question that didn't need to be answered but Liam did anyways. "It was his dad Lou.." Liam paused and I thought about what he had said. I remembered Harry's journal entry about his dad, and how mad he was that I was reading it. "What did he do?" Thoughts filled my brain of a crying Harry and it broke my heart.

"He came out to his dad one day when he came to visit.." I watched his adams apple bob as he swallowed. "I spare the details but he wasn't happy. He would not have a son that was gay and he wanted to physically beat it out him." Liam and I both cringed. I felt my eyes go glassy. "Part of me thinks he's protecting himself from his dad and another part of me says he wants to pretend that there is no problem and that he isn't gay, so then it will just go away." Liam looked at his dash board with a sad expression.

"Why didn't he tell me?" I asked quietly. "You're his best friend. He loves you in a way that he doesn't think is good. He didn't want to tell you he was gay because if he told you then he would also have to tell you he loves you, even though the whole world can see that." He snorted. "He loves me.." Liam nodded and I wanted to cry more but not from sadness. I wanted to cry happy tears because Harry loved me in the way that I loved him. I wanted to scream it to the stars. Harry Styles loved me and I loved him. 

I wasted no time. I got into my car and drove straight to Harry's house.

PILLOW TALK IS SO GOOD NOT GOING TO LIE, I LOVED IT. anyways thanks for the reads. :) vote and comment!

All the love,

Kate.