Gold Canary

Part 11

Fair warning the next bit is going to get messy. I generally like to keep the swearing to a minimum but it's unrealistic when two people fight passionately that they wouldn't swear when feeling angry and frustrated. I hope I don't offend anyone too greatly, but if your someone who hates swearing, even written, to such a degree that it's put you off reading further comment and I'll post the chapter without the expletives.

Also guys 200+ reads this is so exciting!!

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I can't even think I'm so filled with rage. I'm not surprised he held out so long in telling me.

He thought I'd been cheating, me. Me, of all people. Me, out of the two of us.

What. The. Fuck.

"You couldn't have just asked me?!" I practically scream at him when he's done. "You know this is like the stupidest reason people break-up right? I can't even..." I can't even look at him. I'm so angry I don't even see the man I loved instead I see an idiot who flushed our relationship down the toilet with out even giving me an opportunity to defend my actions. Who does that? Obviously jerks that let their own insecurities and the whispers of others control their actions.

But I'm not finished letting him know just how much of an idiot he is, I'm just catching my breath.

"Communication Finn, that's all it would have taken. Just one fucking question would have lead to an explanation that would of saved our relationship. But what... I just don't understand why you would be so stupid!"

I can barely get the words out there, there's so much I want to scream at him.

This is really not the time or the place to be having it out with him but all I'm seeing is red at the moment and until I get my answers I wont be able to concentrate on anything else.

"I was scared Ari, for fuck's sake not everyone is built with such an easy capacity to love and trust you know."

"Oh I think I know that Finn, I think I even know that better than you do, so don't you dare start preaching to me about your trust issues."

"C'mon Ari you have a pack that fucking loves you, you have people..."

"You think it's easy for me Finn, you think that just because I learnt to trust my instincts that I don't have the same trust issues, the same issues about loving people that have the ability to tear you to shreds. I felt a connection with you Finn and I fucking trusted that but it sure as hell didn't make it any easier to trust you. You think my life has made any relationship I have with people easy?"

"No, I know..."

"You don't know shit Finn and you even threatened me with it. Why would you do that? You know me, you know my story. You've been through some of it yourself. I've been abandoned my whole life by people that are meant to love me the most. I've always been an outcast even in the pack that eventually took me in. For you to break up with me but then also turn around and use that knowledge against me, to threaten to reveal my biggest vulnerability..." Closing my eyes I continue, if I look into those eyes any longer I'll lose it. "I can't believe I ever cried a single tear over our break-up and knowing that the reason you broke-up with me is over something so juvenile... I can't even look at you right now."

I'm striding off once again glad that the trail is so easy to follow because right now between the tears streaming down from the confrontation and my thoughts a jumble of angry words and what-if's I'm practically blind.

Finn grabbing my arm eventually halts my progress.

"What are you talking about, I never threatened you."

"You did Finn, in your message you said..." I struggle to get the words out but I need to, to at least diminish the slight confused hopeful expression he has in his eyes that if he can prove this one thing all will be well.

"You said you'd tell everyone about my missing mark." I sob on this part because admitting to being without such a connection to my past or to a pack is something so abhorrent that I struggle with it often. He was the only one I told and the only one who knew outside the Alpha, his wife and Tim. I had a lot more trust issues after Finn and I did more to distance myself from people so they would never discover the truth.

Sobbing I don't reject the comfort he attempts to bring me. I've always felt so ashamed and for someone I love to abuse the trust I had once placed in them especially about something that was so deeply scarring within me just caused unimaginable fear and hurt. I try to hide it but in this moment my emotions are overwhelming me and all I can do is cry.

Finn's voice is broken when he starts to explain, but the more he starts to explain the easier it is to sober from the tears.

"Aria, that's not what I was talking about. Oh god, I'm so sorry I meant... Shit, I meant that I would tell people the reason that we broke up, I would tell them that you were cheating on me. I would never..."

He continues on but I've heard enough that I'm furious once more.

Pushing him away I can't help but be enraged and disgusted with the man in front of me.

"You know this is like a fucking trope in romance stories right. People breaking up because they think the other person is cheating but don't actually do anything to check if the people spreading rumours have an agenda themselves or even just asking the person meant to be cheating. What ever happened to a good ol' fashioned confrontation. What did I do Finn to make you doubt our relationship that you made us into a fucking cliché."

I'm so angry the words come out as a hiss. I've stop caring if I make any sense or if my arguments are sound, or giving a shit in general if what I'm saying is having a negative impact on Finn. Instead spewing whatever my brain concocts is cathartic in nature and I almost can't stop.

I loved this guy? I don't think so, he's a fucking imbecile.