What Have You Done To Me?

Dean's P.O.V.

I walked into the clearing and slowly started walking uphill. I stumbled into camp and looked around. Sarah and Tessa were nowhere to be found but Cas and Sam were sleeping by the fire. I walked over to them and sat down by Sam. "Goodnight Sammy." I giggled before laying down and falling asleep.

--------------------------------------------

I woke up surrounded by unfamiliar surroundings. Slowly I got up and drew my gun. I looked around, a single door was located on the far side of the room. I crossed to it. I reached for the handle,

"I wouldn't do that if I were you,"

I whipped around to shoot but he flicked his hand to the side and my gun flew across the room.

"What do you want?!"  I asked. He smiled and stalked towards me.

"For one, I would appreciate it if you didn't open that door. Two, I would appreciate it if you would stop traipsing around in the snow. You could catch somthing. Three, I was wondering when you would finally call me back."

"I don't call you here! You come here on your own!"

"Oh how I wish that were true. But Dean, I'm not real. I'm a figment of your imagination. I'm the monster under your bed. I'm the devil on your shoulder. I'm the voice in your head. You say I torture you, but your torturing yourself! Your making me do this to you! This is a dream! I am your thoughts! Why can't you see that? You sold your soul to me, so you gave yourself up to yourself! You sold your soul to your soul! You gave your life to me, but I'm just the voice in your head. If you were strong enough you could wish me away right now. And I wish you would Dean, I don't like doing this to you,"

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"Because your getting stronger! Your realizing how caught up you have been in all this self hate. Your realizing that you have friends. You have family. You wouldn't believe yourself if you told you, so your making me tell you."

"But why do you take his form?"

"Because in this form, you won't fight back against me. You won't resist. You never could fight me. Your pathetic. And you and I both hate you for it. Don't you realize what I did was a mistake? I never should have saved you. I never should have cared. And now I don't."

"Don't you say that to me! Not you! Not you..."

"Oh all speak my mind thank you! I hate you! I gave everything for you! All our lives it's been about you! You were the vessel! You were the chosen one! You needed to be saved! Your life was above all of ours! All of the deaths on your hands! How many times did I get tortured and killed for you? How many! I hate you Dean! Your a pathetic souless piece of shit that nobody loves! We all hate you! Next time you end up in hell, I will personally join you just so I can torture whatever scrap piece of self righteousness you still have out of you! You deserve to die! I wish you were dead! You wish you were dead! Why don't you just get it over with?"

"I don't know, I don't know what's real anymore. I don't know who to listen to...but your right. I deserve to die. No! You can't tell me that, not after, no...was all that an illusion?"

"No. That was all real. All of that was real. But so is this. Dean listen to me, you sold your soul for me, only too find out you sold your soul TO me. Remember Dean, you can't run from me. Because you can't hide from the voices when their in your-"

--------------------------------------------

"-head," I woke up on the ground and sat up, my heart was racing. I checked my watch and it was only 2 in the morning. Dear god when will this stop? I reached in to my jacket to grab a drink but I realized I still had the deerskin jacket on. Oh, last night, oh shit that was all real. I glanced over. Sam was still sleeping, I smiled. I looked over at Cas and my smile fell. Does he know? Is it even him? Or is it all an illusion? I rubbed my head and got up. Where is Bobby? I walked over to my bag and found another bottle. I took a sip. A moment later I was being ambushed and Sam snatched the bottle out of my hands. He punched me in the gut and I keeled over, puking on the ground. He shook my shoulders.

"What the hell Dean?! Are you trying to kill yourself? Dean what were you thinking!?" He wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

"I was only taking a sip..." I said, but my speech was already slurred. He pointed at 3/4 empty bottle laying in the snow.

"You call that a sip? Dean that was almost a whole bottle of everclear! If I wouldn't have made you puke you'd be unconscious right now!" I shook my head and sat down in the snow.

"5 seconds ago that bottle was full..." I muttered.

"Dean, I woke up to the sound of you rummaging around in our bags and the next thing I know your chugging it like it was water! What the hell man! You could have died...." He sat down next to me.

"But I...I only remember taking a sip."

"Dean, why were you drinking in the first place? Why do you even still have a bottle? You've been sober for a year..."

"Like I said...I don't know." All of the noise must have woken Cas because he stood up rubbing his eyes.

"What's going on?" I shrank down behind Sam. Cas looked at Sam quizzically. Then his eyes found me, and he looked away. "I should go." Sam got up and grabbed his arm.

"Oh your not going anywhere. Not until you and Dean explain to me what happened."

"Nothing happened. Sam why are you here anyway? You should be with Jess."I slurred. Sam whirrled around.

"Jess is-" his eyes grew wide. "Damnit! Cas help me!" They moved me closer to the fire and Cas gave me some food.

"I'm not a baby sammy lay off." I said as he put a blanket on me. He rolled his eyes.

"You have hypothermia idiot." He explained. I handed him the tarp and he looked at me funny.

"Go clear some snow and build an igloo on this tarp for shelter." I told him.

"Where did you get this?" He asked.

"Never mind that." I said. He looked reluctant but finally he agreed.

"Castiel, stay here and keep an eye on him. Make sure he stays warm." He nodded at Sam, but as soon has my eyes met his he looked away again. Sam left, and after 3 minutes of tense silence he spoke up.

"Dean I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, you know. I don't know what came over me-" I looked over at him confused.

"...oh." I said, rubbing the back of my neck. It was his turn to look confused.

"What do you mean oh?" He asked. I looked at the fire.

"I don't know," I said. "I just wish you didn't regret it." I added under my breath so he couldn't hear me.

"Dean..." He said. I looked up at him right as his lips crashed into mine.I kissed him back. Every nerve was on fire. Cas is kissing me. My angel. Damn. Eventually he pulled back for air and he looked me in the eyes. "Dean, I don't regret it."

"How the hell did you hear me say that?" He smirked.

"You forget that I am a celestial being."

--------------------------------------------

THIS SUCKS

OUT OF ALL MY FANFICS THIS GETS THE MOST READS? WTF! I HATE THIS FANFICTION. But if more people comments I'll write more.