Beyoncé
"So when are we gonna meet him?"Kelly sipped her coffee smirking, thinking she was pulling a joke. She wasn't though. I was in deep shit. And all for what reason, may you ask? Because my parents had randomly assumed that I was already with someone?
I circled the rim of my plastic coffee cup lid with my index finger. We were in Starbucks. We as in: me, Kelly, Michelle, Angie, LaToya and LaTivia. I didn't even know why Thing 1 and Thing 2 were there, but Saint Chelle felt bad that they were alone, so asked them to join us. Them being lonely bitches they joined us at our table for 4, squashing the hell out of us.
"What are y'all talking about?"LaToya asked. I mouthed 'no' but Kelly had to blab.
"Bey's got this imaginary fiancé with her and now Mr and Mrs Knowles are roasting her ass about him,"Kelly laughed. I rolled my eyes. She was having fun at my expense.
Kelly is a wild animal. She has more one-night stands than she knows about, and she has relationships lasting about 2-3 days. Honestly I don't know how she lives like that, but that's her. I love her though, she's my rida.
"Come on Kellz, how would you feel if you were in Bey's position?"Chelle asked her with a knowing look.
Michelle is the religious one out of us. She attends church every Sunday and goes to the midweek services. Any topic we're on she will throw a passage from the bible into it quicker than I can finish my Popeyes. She's so gentle and wouldn't hurt a fly.
"Proverbs 17:17; A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity,"she preached. Kelly instantly stopped laughing looking at her.
"I didn't know you had to make up fiancés now, Bey. What has your life come to?"LaTivia smirked looking at LaToya.
"Bitch whet? My life has come to more than your life ever will, considering the fact that I'm a internationally known businesswoman and you've been working at McDonalds since 16, so go check yourself because last time I checked I have the power to unemploy your slow ass,"I sipped my coffee and Angie clapped laughing the loudest like a ratchet.
Angie is my cousin. She moved up to New York because she couldn't STAND her parents. I mean, she would pretty much walk out of the house while they were talking to her like she ain't finna get an ass whooping. She's loud, ratchet, and even more of a wild animal than Kelly, but that's my girl right there.
"Whatever,"LaTivia mumbled.
"Y'all what am I going to do?"I turned to the RELEVANTS.
"Well, I know this guy,"Angie started.
"Go on,"I prompted.
"And he is fine. He is sexy, tall and broad. He got a job as a doctor in one of the best hospitals. Tall, dark, handsome,"Angie smirked. I fantasised this man. He sounded LIKE my dream man, but I'm very specific in what I want.
For example:
1. Must Have No Past Lovers
I can't deal with no jealous ex drama. That's just too much shit to handle because I'm a very, very busy woman.
2. Must Have No Children
I know this may seem harsh, but I'm pretty selfish. I can't have no nasty 7 year old giving me mouth because I'm not their momma, and I do not want to deal with no baby mamas coming sideways at me because they're jealous too.
3. Must Earn At Least $100,000 Annually
I REFUSE to be the one earning the most money in the relationship. Although women can do that, I'm not that woman.
These are just an inch of what I expect from a man. I'm choosy, so I need the right one. Maybe that's why all my men have run- because they can't meet my standards.
"I hope you didn't fuck his ass,"Kelly side eyed Ang.
"Nope, I left him for Bey,"she raised her eyebrows up and down.
"Well, where is he? Why haven't we met him before?"I asked.
"Because he's in NYC,"she sipped her drink like it was nothing. I burnt my tongue taking in what she just said.
"NYC?! How the hell am I supposed to marry a guy who lives in NYC when I'm in Houston?!"a few heads in the small shop turned to stare.
"Bey, lower your voice,"Chelle hushed.
"All you need to do is come with me, Bey. I'm leaving in a week's time,"Ang suggested.
"Not a bad idea, but you know how it goes. You gotta hook me up if he got some bootylicious niggas lurking around,"Kelly winked causing us to laugh. Of course LaToya and LaTivia joined in, making the real four eye them.
"No, I don't even know the guy. I can't just up and leave to go meet a stranger,"I shook my head.
"Bey, don't disown your fiancé,"Kelly tutted. I rolled my eyes.
"It might not be as bad as you think,"Chelle smirked.
"Yeah, and it's either you meet him or you continue to lie about 'Michael',"Ang put the quotation marks around my fake fiancé Michael.
"I might have to come down with you and see if he's approvable,"LaToya winked.
"Bitch getcho man sorted first coz he was all up in Kelly's cooch last week,"I rolled my eyes. She choked on her drink.
"Hey!"Kelly threw her hands up. "It was dark as hell in the club, I couldn't see his face and I was drunk,"she defended herself.
"Girl! We all know damn well you knew it was him. Don't worry, I slept with LaTivia's,"Angie whispered the last part loudly. I told y'all. They're wild animals.
"Really, Angie? You gon sleep with my man?"
"He ain't yo man if he ain't coming home,"Angie smirked. Kelly and I busted out laughing.
"Exodus 20:14: Thou shalt not commit adultery,"Chelle recited, causing us to laugh harder.
~•~
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Fanfiction"Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of, Yours And Mine Are The Same" Beyoncé Knowles was a young woman who, much to her parents' disappointment, had not found her soul mate. Beyoncé was forced to find the 'fiancé' that she had led her parents to believe wa...
