Jay
Bey and I spent the next few days having the time of our lives in paradise. It was a shame to go back but we needed to start our plans of getting Tami and leaving New York.
"It doesn't feel good to be back in this frosty ass weather but it does feel good to be back home,"Bey sighed as we walked to the car my driver was in.
"I just can't wait for that good food I know Ma cooking,"I rubbed my belly in hunger. I didn't eat on the plane here but I was hoping Ma would cook up a storm for us.
"Haven't had home cooked food in a while. Ms Gloria has them magic hands and recipes,"Bey giggled as we got in. We were driven straight home which wasn't long enough for me to take a quick nap. My driver pulled up in front of my house.
"Ready?"I looked at Bey and she nodded.
"Let's go get 'em,"I got out first and opened her door for her. My driver AP got our luggage out and took as many as he could to the door; I did the rest.
Bey got my key from my pocket and she unlocked the door allowing us in. AP went straight upstairs to place our suitcases and bags in our room.
"Imma go hide. Act like I stayed in Belize,"Bey whispered before taking off into the downstairs guest room.
As if on cue Ma came downstairs as Bey went in.
"My baby is back! How are you?"she hugged me so tight I could barely breathe.
"I'll be fine when you stop crushing my lungs,"I wheezed. She left go of me and rubbed my waves. "Ma, stop!"I whined.
"Grow up Shawn. How was it? And where the hell is Mrs Carter?"I sighed and looked away. "What happened?"
"Ma...she's not here,"I acted.
"Why not? Where is she?"Ma frowned.
"In Belize. She stayed there and I came back,"I looked at Ma.
"What do you mean 'she stayed there'?!"
"She found somebody there, one of the counsellors,"I faked. Ma's reaction was funny as hell. I noticed Bey creeping up behind Ma but turned my attention to Ma to not make it so obvious.
"Boy I raised you better than this! You better take your rapping ass allll the way back to Belize and bring her ass back here! You ain't no pu-AAHHH!"Ma screamed as Bey tickled her sides. We bursted out laughing as Ma held onto her side leaning against the chair.
"Beyon-yo-cé...don't ever scare me like that again if you love your life,"Ma caught her breath.
"I'm sorry Ms Gloria. It's good to see you and that food you been cooking in the kitchen,"they hugged.
"It's good to see you too, honey. So does this mean..."Ma trailed off.
"It's for real this time,"Bey joined my side and I held onto her waist. Ma jumped up and down and started praising God.
"I prayed day and night for this to happen. I'm so happy for y'all. So when's the wedding and babies coming?"Ma put her hand on her hip.
"Ma we just got back!"I shook my head as Bey laughed.
"I'm excited for y'all,"she held onto her chest. "Listen, the food is almost ready but y'all settle down and I'll shout when it's ready,"She shooed us returning to the kitchen.
"Come on,"I bent down and Bey jumped on my back. I ran up the stairs and she held onto me so tight thinking I was about to drop her.
"Jay put me down!"she squealed and I threw her onto the bed. "It feels good being back in this bed,"she smiled getting comfortable on top of the fresh bed set.
"You better getcho ass up and into that bathroom,"I slapped her ass. Whining like a puppy she stretched her arms and I carried her in there. We both took turns to shower and brush our teeth. After, we came out and dressed in our casual clothes.
"Jay did you ever finish reading your grandma's letter to you?"Bey crawled onto the bed from behind and massaged my shoulders while I put on my socks. I shook my head no.
"I didn't finish it because I felt too guilty for not supporting her the way I should've."
"I think you should read it though,"she suggested.
"I think not,"I disagreed with a hard frown.
"Jay this can give you closure. These are her last words to you and you deserve to know what she wanted you to know, what was on her mind. At least she can speak to you through the letter now that she's gone,"Bey elaborated.
My frown softened as I slowly began to agree with her. I never finished reading the letter because I couldn't bring myself to do so and it stayed in my drawer day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year. I never looked forward to reading the rest. I knew Kaari had read hers and she bawled like a baby for two days straight. Ma read hers a few days after YaYa passed and she was the exact same. I was the only one left and I wasn't prepared.
"Jay we're moving forward as a couple but also as individuals. Nobody is perfect. Just read it,"she kissed my neck. Gradually I nodded and reached into the bottom of my sock drawer to retrieve it, crumpled and worn.
"Can you read the whole thing to me please?"I gazed up at Bey as she was kneeling on the bed and she nodded.
My dearly beloved Shawn,
Since the day you were born I knew that your light would shine bright. You've made stupid mistakes but don't we all?
My oldest grandchild. Watching you become someone great made me proud as a grandmother. I couldn't ask for a better grandson because I have you.
I know you like the back of my hand. I delivered you when your mom was ordering her KFC and she went into labour. I know that you'll be feeling guilty and you'll be feeling like you let me down but you didn't. You were protecting your mom and that has made me the proudest grandma anyone could ever be.
Your uncle, I failed. I tried my hardest to be a mother to him but he went in the wrong direction. Your father was reckless before you were even born so it was practically in your genes. I tried my damn hardest to make sure you didn't turn out like your uncle or dad and you didn't. They would've cowered away and left but you defended your mom. At least I'll die knowing that the one thing I succeeded in was helping raise you right.
You've been jailed for something honourable you did but that doesn't mean your life is over. I don't know if I'll be alive by the time you come out but I want to say this- BE THE BEST YOU CAN. Do not settle for less, do not sell yourself short and do not give up. Do what you feel is right and do what a man would do.
One thing I pity is how your mom is not sharing the love I shared with your grandpa Corey. The both of us were soul mates. From the age of 17 until his very last breath at the age of 40 I loved him like my heart depended on it. I want you to do the same thing. Loving me changed your grandpa. It showed him that there was more to life than guns and drugs. We got married before 25 and enjoyed our lives together as one. I want you to enjoy what I enjoyed for the best years of my life and get married before 30. Kaari included, and I want your mom to find somebody too.
I love you so much Shawn Corey Carter and wherever I am I'll be watching over you, smiling at the wonderful man you've become.
With all my heart,
YaYa
~~~~~~
Author's Notes:
On the 9th Day Of Christmas Jay finally found closure to his grandma's passing📨
1)Ms Gloria...funny or nah?😂
2)How do you feel about YaYa's letter?🤷🏾♀️
3)How do you think Jay will use it now?🤔
Lemme know what u think💭
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