YouTube Neighbors

Chapter 4

DAN'S POV

I head into the living room where Phil and my laptop is sat. Phil is situated in front of the fire as he insists he needs it because of his 'butt warmth'.

"Who was it?" Phil asks as I sit down and reach for my laptop.

"It was that other girl and her friend, our new neighbours, they invited us to their house warming party, their names were Kyara and Ella I think" I say opening my laptop.

"What did you say?" Phil asks.

"I said yes but i would check what were doing, they said it was this Saturday at 5:00" I reply.

"You must like those girls then not to make up a faulty excuse" Phil says raising his eye suggestivaly.

"Shut up Phil I was just trying to be nice and I didn't say it was definate" I say, trying to pass it off.

I log on to my Tumblr.  I swear there is some ludicrous things on mine and Phil's tag, its hilarious what they come up with and amazing how much time people would just spend on us.

"Are you going to film today?" Phil asks.

"If I don't procrastinate myself into oblivion" I say sarcastically although it's probably true.

"What are you doing today, do you want to do a collab?" I say.

"Nah I can't my mums in town for the next few days so I'm going to take her around London for some food or something" Phil says. I get up and go for some cereal and coffee only to find my packet almost empty.

"PHIIIILLL" I yell out.

"While you're out, renew MY cereal because you nearly ate it ALL" I say trying to emphasize as much as I could on the 'my' and the 'all'.

I make my cereal and coffee and head back towards the coach time for countless on Tumblr.

Let's just say it was not a productive morning. Now Phil was gone to take his mum to lunch, it was time for me to film a video. I don't know how my audience hasn't killed me yet from how unfrequently I upload.

I roll off my sofa crease, and yes I do call it my sofa crease it's practically a cavity in the sofa. And head towards the shower I give myself a quick rinse off and wash my hair. I blow dry and straighten my hair. Hey, I have to look good for the audience. I put on my usual black jeans and black solar eclipse shirt then set up everything in my room and start to film.

"Hello internet, since recent events have occurred, I have been invited to a house warming party, probably not the best place for me because I am accident prone and I will probably ruin all of your stuff, eat all your food and talk to none of the guests, so me being the great party guest I am, I'm going to show you how to survive a house warming" I finish in a dramatic tone.

"First of all bring a gift, and I don't mean something huge or exotic like an ice sculpture. Maybe something like a box of celebrations or a scented candle, something nice that suits the particular person or people" I say to the camera.

"Second of all, do not stand near the food table, it's a recipe for disaster. I know that guacamole looks good but we don't want to scare our newly made friends away already. Distract yourself with conversation. I know human interaction is hard but this is what having places to go and people to hang out with feels like. And thirdly, try and not be on your phone the whole time, it's not really socially acceptable to be on your phone when you are at a party, although it's probably what I'd do since I don't even know what social means so. And that's it for today, the irrelevant meaning of this video is to not wreck other people houses only your own so yeah... bye" I finish and then shut the camera off now film the in between shots and then lunch.

Filming horrific scenes like I'm filming now, does not help my self-image or the one on the internet. After filming those disgraceful scenes, I look in the fridge and the holy heavens have fallen upon me as I just remember Phil and I had pizza last night. Looks like cold pizza for me. As I'm serving my delicious and cold pizza I hear a loud thud and a yell "DON'T DROP IT". Against my every fibre, awkwardness and shyness, I head towards the front door and open it.

I'd be lying if I said what I saw wasn't funny. Kyara was kind of in a sumo squat position lifting a big cardboard box which I have to say, didn't look light, and Ella on the lower end of the stairs was trying to lift the box up to her shoulder so it would be level with Kyara's side.

"Hey, can you help with these boxes" Kyara says quickly smiling at me.

"Uh sure I have to warn you I'm not the best at moving and carrying things" I say moving towards Kyara and putting my hands under the box.

"You two lift while I...direct" Kyara says and then leaves only me and Ella carrying the box.

"Alright go back a little and start angling yourself towards the door, wait stop I'll open the door" Kyara starts to instruct. Soon enough we had the box in the house and to what looked a room similar to mine.

"Thanks" Ella breaths.

"I would say any day but I'm not used to helping the neighbours move in" I say with a nervous laugh. Kyara excuses herself to go get some directions for whatever was in the box.

"To be honest we were never having a house warming party. I don't even know anyone in London. We are kind of fans of your videos and Phil's of course and Kyara's the only one that had enough guts to invite you two to a non-existent house warming party" Ella stutters nervous.

Fuck, it never crossed my mind that they could be subscribers.

"You could have just invited us over you don't need a whole fake house warming party for us" I say with an awkward laugh.

"Don't tell Kyara she would kill me if she found out I told you" Ella says quickly before Kyara comes back with the instructions.

"So are you going to help us set this bed up or are you going to retreat back to your humble adobe" Kyara says.

"I can't leave two damsels in distress, so if you let me I'll help you, if I don't break your bed" I say. Damsels in destress come on Dan get your act together and your vocabulary.

I hear Kyara snort and start laughing as she goes and gets the instructions to set up the bed.