I don't want to exist.
I don't want to die.
I've never been so bewildered
so perturbed.
Yet at the same time
I'm so apathetic.
I can't think straight.
The things that I want
are dangling in front of me
and slowly
ever so slowly
it is killing me.
part of me
wants to live in the moment.
It wants to take pictures
of moments
that will soon be washed away.
The other part
the part that takes over
wants to stop time.
Everything
is happening at once.
But that's not possible.
I can't stop time
or stop existing without death
or have the things that I want.
this is irrational
I'm irrational.
life is irrational.
damn it.
