Mistakes [Second Book]

five

Daniel's POV

"Danny, please talk to me." Hope says beside me, as she has been for the past few weeks ever since the incident.

She had found me lying on the floor, a bloody, naked, exhausted mess. My body is still fragile from the abuse he-who-shall-not-be-named put me through. I haven't spoken to her since. I haven't spoken to anybody. Any kind of physical touch scares me, even if it's just a tap on the arm. I'm both emotionally and physically scarred. Hope has given me food, setting it on my bedside table for me to nibble away at. But I never finish it. It's not worth it anymore.

"Okay, that's fine. You don't need to talk to me yet. I don't know what happened to you sweetie, but you will have to talk eventually." she says quietly, knowing by now not to touch me as she stands up. She leaves the room, leaving me alone once again.

This time alone gives me time to think. I've mostly thought about one thing...Joey. I can't help but wonder what he's doing. Who he's with. Where he is. How he looks. How he's doing. I want to hate him, but I just can't. I will forever love him. No matter how purely toxic and completely messed up our relationship really was, it was and will continue to be love. Sure, solving our problems with sex was never healthy. All those random arguments and minor bickering that went on always ended with sexual pleasure of some sort.

Maybe he never loved me. Maybe it always was just about that stupid bet. Maybe he's moved onto another victim already. Maybe he's just as miserable as me. Maybe he feels like total crap about what he did to me. Maybe he's happy. Maybe he's over me and has continued his life. I shouldn't care, but I do.

I just can't help it.

(a/n: I'm having an extremely bad night/week and I want to curl up into a ball and have someone shoot me so I can die.)