Mistakes [Second Book]

forty eight

Joey's POV

As soon as I step out of the hospital, I feel my throat close up and tears begin to stream down my face like a waterfall. Why can't I just fucking leave him? He deserves better than me, so why won't my mind, body, and spirit  allow me to fucking give that to him? He doesn't want me, why can't I just let him have what he wants?

My fists immediately make contact with the brick wall and I begin pounding is vigorously. Pain grips my heart as I think of what those fucking dickheads did to him. I can't believe I used to consider those people my friends. Never again.

I begin trying to recollect myself, taking deep breaths in and out while inspecting my now busted fists. The blood is pooling at each individual knuckle and I watch as each droplet of the crimson red liquid fall onto the concrete. The action repeats until I finally remove my sweater and stick my hands inside so the blood stops flowing. My sweater begins to soak slightly with blood, but I mentally remind myself to wash it later.

My hands grip onto the steering wheel tightly once I'm inside my car. The feeling of scabs breaking open is all-too-familiar as the scabs on my knuckles break under pressure, small beads of blood pooling at the top. However, it doesn't bother me. In a way, the sight of my blood makes me feel at ease. No matter how fucked up that sounds, it's the bitter truth. I deserve all the pain I can get.

As I drive around aimlessly, I realize all my belongings are divided evenly among the frat house and Daniel's apartment. Fuck. Where am I supposed to go now? Maybe Shane will let me stay at his place, I think to myself.

My car twists and turns along the curved roads carelessly as I wind down the familiar street that Shane's house is on. He was blessed with a rich family who love and support him endlessly, so they bought him a fairly large house. I wish I had a family like that.

I pull into the driveway of his house and see a vehicle parked there. My mind wanders to the party. He wouldn't miss one, so is he still there? Maybe someone else took him home and is spending the night. I check the time on my phone, reading 12:30am. I know how ignorant it is to show up at someone's house at this time, but I'm desperate.

My legs carry me towards the door and I knock quietly, careful not to make too much noise. I'm greeted almost immediately by a tired looking Shane. His hair is standing up in different directions and his eyes are bloodshot.

"Joey? What're you doing here?" Shane asks groggily, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"C-can I stay here the night?" I ask quietly, refusing to make eye contact. Shane grabs onto my arm lightly, pulling me inside.

"Of course, Joey. Always." he says while smiling, "You can stay in the guest bedroom."

I follow him towards the bedroom and he directs me to the bathroom and tells me to help myself to anything in the kitchen. Quietly, I thank him and crawl into the bed in only my briefs. Shane stops at the door briefly before heading back to his bedroom, peeking into the room.

"Whatever you did to Daniel, don't do it again." he sighs, giving me a warning glare. I nod curtly and smirk to myself.

"Never again."

(a/n: i should be asleep because it's literally almost 3am here but im just like hAHAHAAHAHA not happening.)