i don't understand my mom sometimes.
she gets mad at me when i don't make my bed, wash the dishes, do my own laundry, vacuum the house, get my own food, make my own phone calls, and clean up after myself. it's understandable that she gets upset, because i'm "nineteen and [i] should be doing these things by [myself] already instead of relying on [my] parents/grandparents to do them for [me]."
nineteen's considered an adult age, right? but you know what? despite her saying that i should do things by myself as an adult, she also considers me a kid.
for the last couple of days, i'm only home for eight or nine hours (11pm to 7am/8am) and out at school or hanging out with my boyfriend and/or friends for the other sixteen hours. but my mom gets even more upset when i come home at 11pm, because she says that i'm still a kid and i shouldn't be out so late.
first of all, what happened to me being an adult? when it comes to chores and shit, i'm an adult, but when it comes to having a life, i'm a kid?
make some sense. pick one or the other, mom.
just this morning, my mom and i had a conversation and she was all like, "i'm not doing your laundry anymore. you better do the laundry from now on. you are nineteen and an adult. you can't keep relying on me to do your laundry. so do the laundry now."
i was like, "mom, i'm going to be late for school if i don't leave now."
she was all, "then do it when you get home, because i'm not doing it. i don't want to see dirty laundry when i come back home."
then i was all, "i'm not going to be home before you. i'm gonna be home around 11pm."
and she was like, "you shouldn't be coming home so late. you're nineteen and still a kid. it's not right that you come home in the middle of the night."
and in my head i was like, "... WHAT." but i actually said, "yeah, okay."
look, i love my mom and all, but she is a confusing clusterfuck sometimes. i'm either an adult or a kid to her, whatever best fits her at whatever moments. she calls me an adult, but won't even let me move out of the house. my older sister who's even more irresponsible than i am attends a school two hours away from home and is staying at an apartment, but i can't go to a place that's more than thirty minutes away by freeway.
she treats me like a kid but then tells me to start acting like an adult. she tells me to do things by myself, but won't let me make my own choices. i can only do what she wants me to do, not what i want to do. pretty much what i want to do, she disapproves of. hell, the major i am in university isn't even my choice. it's my MOM'S. i wanted to major in creative writing, but NO. she wanted me to be an engineer. everyone tells me to choose a major that i will enjoy doing. EVEN MY OWN PROFESSORS AT MY UNIVERSITY TELL ME TO MAJOR IN SOMETHING I WANT TO DO. but my mom doesn't see that. she sees $$$money$$$. "choose a major that'll make the most money."
my engineering professors even told me: "when picking a major, don't think about money. think about what you'll love doing."
(but if i didn't pick engineering as my major, i would have never met my boyfriend.)
my mom tells me to be an adult, but she won't let me live my own life without her telling me what i can and can't do. when i was younger, she wouldn't let me do a lot of things that my sisters [older and younger] did.
she would let my sisters stay home alone at 12 years old, but she didn't let me do that until i was 16.
she would let my sisters go to sleepovers once they turned seven. i've never slept over at a friend's house in my entire life, because my mom said no.
my older sister got to go to DC and new york when she was in middle school. my mom pulled me out of the DC program because she decided i wasn't responsible enough.
my younger sister gets to participate in events for a club she's in. i wasn't allowed outside the house unless i was going to school or to work at the family shop.
a few years ago, my mom took both of my sisters to a baseball game and a discovery science center and excluded me, because she wanted me to work.
nowadays, i do what i want, but my mom doesn't like my choices because i'm "still a kid," yet she still wants me to start doing things by myself.
despite my mom annoying me with her confusing and irritating ways, i still love her unconditionally. my sisters don't like my mom or are afraid of her, but not i. i've dealt with her for nineteen years. i can deal with her some more.
again, i don't understand my mom sometimes, but i know she means well. i can be mad at my mom all i want, but in the end she's still my mom and i'll still love her no matter what.
okay, this rant was everywhere, but whatever. have a nice life, people. *peace sign*
