Taking Command Book 1 (Kylux) (#Wattys2016)

Chapter Eleven: Passion

Hux PoV

I sat in the copilot seat, fairly relaxed, as the shuttle sped through hyperspace. Ren was meditating beside me, his mind most likely miles away, brooding on whatever he found in his mystic art.

I wondered if the cold, angry persona he portrayed was a ruse. From what I knew of him, he was little more than a teenager. He had slaughtered many, and had betrayed his family, but he was still little more than a child. I wondered if he ever regretted his decisions.

I stopped myself midthought. Why should I care? I needed to remind myself that he was but a means to an end. I could not bring order without him to help helm it. Even the Empire had had somewhat of a figurehead of intimidation, Vader, who I knew that Ren idolized.

The difference was that Vader had been a Jedi and had become legendary for the same things that made him an amazing inspiration to those under him in the Empire. He had been charismatic, appealed to the underlings, and led by example. On the other hand, he would not stand for weakness, or betrayal.

Kylo Ren did not possess his grandfather's fire. He was little more than a child foolishly emulating the actions of a parent, in the belief that they would make them a better person. The thing was, he did not have the personality of Vader. He did not have the ability to simultaneously inspire yet rule by fear. He came across as angry, taciturn, and unstable.

I looked at him as he sat, legs crossed, head bowed a little and hands interlocked in front of him and wondered what he was thinking. It was hard not to wonder.

One thing I knew for certain that I disliked about Ren was his uncontrollable rage. I did not bear witness to it, but a security camera in the Base had seen Ren lose his temper over some small thing and viciously butcher the contents of the room he was in.

I hoped for everyone's sake that he would not have a fit like that while in the main reactor of the Base. With his powers, I did not relish seeing what that would cause.

Suddenly, Ren sat up straight and took off his mask. "I can't take it." He said, his voice uncertain, almost hesitant. "This pull I feel... To the Light." His voice was soft and he did not even seem to be aware that I was watching him. "I need guidance," he murmured,"I need-"

At that moment, all of my hindrance and discipline abandoned me. I was left with my own personal lusts and desires and a vulnerable man who I harbored an attraction for. I grabbed Kylo by the shoulders and kissed him, full on the mouth, causing him to recoil in surprise and then relax into my embrace.

The kiss lasted for about five seconds before Kylo broke off, his eyes full of conflicting emotions. "What did I just do?!" He yelled, looking at me in horror.

"I-I...." I did not know what to say at this point. My passion had overwhelmed me, but now all of my inhibitions had returned and I was horrified at myself beyond belief.

"We kissed." He said slowly, as if trying to process this fact. "You kissed me and..." He looked puzzled. "I..." He glared at me. "Never do that again. Never speak of this. It must be the befuddlement of my mind that draws me both towards the Light Side and you. I can not be distracted!" He was angry now.

"I-I'm sorry." I said, completely spontaneously. I had almost never apologized to anyone in my life, barring my father and other superior officers, but my actions had instilled a sense of horror and guilt in me. "Never again," I murmured. "I'll leave you alone. I swear. If I break that bond, kill me. I would rather be dead than be acting in such a disgraceful way."

"Why did it have to be you?" He snapped. "It was not bad enough that you held me in low esteem and condescended to me, but now you bring your own carnality into this?! You tell think that I am unbalanced, uncontrolled, and emotionally driven: look in a mirror, you hypocrite!" He stormed out of the cockpit and I heard the door to the cabin slam.

I was left to ponder my treacherous emotions and hope that my passions would never rise again. But I knew that was futile. I was horribly attracted to Ren, and no amount of threats or promises could change that, and I hated myself for it.

Shoutout to KyloRens-Nose for being a very loyal reader and shoutout to candyiero as well! I love you guys