Taking Command Book 1 (Kylux) (#Wattys2016)

Chapter Forty Eight: Reprimand

Kylo PoV

I was terrified when Snoke summoned me the day we got back. I knew he would be furious with me for my defeat. It was a small comfort that Hux was with me, as he had been there and could present useful evidence on the Resistance.

When the time came for me to meet with Snoke, Hux came and got me out of the sickbay. My legs would heal fine, as would my other, smaller wounds. At this point, my main pain was my ego.

I walked to the chamber that housed Snoke's hologram and stood there with Hux beside me.

"Kylo Ren. I hope you have a good reason for your capture on Tatooine and the demise of your entire squad save one man. I was convinced that you would be able to successfully eliminate that group of Resistance fighters, but what I'm hearing now is that you were captured, Hux had to save you, and you barely made it out alive. Pathetic!" His voice rose and grew more and more angry as he spoke.

I resisted the urge to flinch away. I felt awful. I should have been more wary and prepared, let myself go into the Force before doing it, seeking any vision of the future that might have warned me. Instead I had managed to ruin the mission and get myself captured.

"In addition to that, you jeopardized the entire mission! Your mistake could have cost us General Hux, or you. We can not afford to lose anyone in command, and your mistake could have ended the First Order. What would your grandfather say if he had known how badly you failed the Order?"

His statement made me simultaneously horrified and angry. I knew he was right. I had messed up. But the fact that he pointed that out made me feel angrier with myself. This would never have happened to my grandfather. Vader was a methodical and logical warrior. He would never have just mindlessly plunged into something like I did.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, kneeling in front of my master. "I will not repeat my mistakes."

"You better not. For now, I want you to stay at the Base. Perhaps you can do more good here." It was as clear as day. He wanted me to quit going on missions. I was being a liability. I did not protest this. I knew there was no use, and it was not my place.

"It's not his fault." Hux pointed out, speaking for the first time. I wished I could get him to shut up.

"What do you mean, General?" Snoke's attention shifted and I watched Hux anxiously, willing him to stop.

"He was ambushed. No one can foresee everything, not even Kylo. He did his best." Hux sounded like he was ready for a fight.

"You defend him only because of your relationship!" Snoke sounded like he was starting to get angry now. "He has failed the Order repeatedly and has proven that he is an unreliable person to be tasked with these duties. Mind your tongue, General. Do not question me."

I looked back at Hux anxiously and shook my head. I could not believe he was doing something so stupid, and for my sake. If anything, it made me feel worse he was putting himself at such risk for me.

"I'm sorry. Yes, Supreme Leader." Hux stepped back a bit and stood at stiff attention. I rose and looked anxiously between them.

"You may go, General. I would speak with my apprentice alone." Snoke's tone was clear. Leave, or else.

Hux got the hint and left. I was scared now. I was right to be. As soon as Hux had gone, Snoke launched into a massive tirade against me and my failure.

"You could have cost us money, and even worse, Hux's life! He is one of the top beings in this Order, along with you and I! Your lack of preparedness and functional ideas could have ruined us! First Coruscant and now Tatooine. Can you do anything without being captured or injured?! I trained you, made you my protege, and yet your skills are barely mediocre. You're becoming an embarrassment to both me and the First Order. Get whatever is distracting you out of your mind. No one has anytime for your oddities and rabbit trails. We need to be single-mindedly focused on ending the Resistance." He ended his tirade a little more quietly and then sat and glared at me.

"I'm sorry, master. I've failed you, but I will strive to improve," I replied honestly. I was embarrassed with myself.

"Good."

I left, shaken. I felt like nothing. I was a failure. I could not survive as a Jedi, I had betrayed everyone, yet I was no good as an heir to Vader. I was not Sith or Jedi. I was in an unhappy middle, and this harsh reprimand had only made my anxiety over the constant inner battle I fought worse. I feared I would never be strong enough. And now, Snoke seemed to agree, and if he could not see potential in me, I did not know who would.